After you've been in a new relationship for a bit, undoubtedly questions re: past sexual history will surface. My inclination has been to say that I've been with a few partners, and leave it at that. However, assuming that the lady you're with has been a bit more forthcoming about her details, and now expects the same: e.g ( she wants to know who your last partner was, and when) what do you say?? I'm not telling her that I recently saw an SP, that's for damn sure. If I say it's personal, she may get turned off and feel as though I have something to hide. How would you approach the issue??
When Things Get Serious...
- Thread starter drlove
- Start date
MarkII said:
My last real relationship was 6 years ago, which turned into a nightmare. Since then, I've been playing it safe with casual dating and seeing SP's.
I suppose what I really want to know, is that if I tell her the truth, wouldn't she think it strange that I haven't been involved with anyone for so long?? Also, should I bother to mention the one night stands??
No, just tell her the truth. It's been a long time, 6 years, since you were in a relationship. You have dated but during that time nothing ever clicked for you.
It could have been work, personalities, facial hair, commitments..whatever!
But..and here's the kicker.."...untill now I haven't found the right person..." only if you are somewhat sure this is the right person to see more than occasionally!
Sounds like you kind of like this one Doc?
M2
It could have been work, personalities, facial hair, commitments..whatever!
But..and here's the kicker.."...untill now I haven't found the right person..." only if you are somewhat sure this is the right person to see more than occasionally!
Sounds like you kind of like this one Doc?
M2
MarkII said:
She definitely has potential... it's not serious yet, but I want to be prepared. Always thinking ahead...
drlove said:
Best advice..be who you are. You can never be what you think the other person wants as you truly do not know.
Interesting how the dating game never really changes no mater how old we are.
Good luck Doc. Follow your instincts..they will not let you make a wrong move.
m2
"...I've been officially single for the last 5 or 6 years, living the 'bachelor' life, basically a few one-night stands and some dating...."
I don't see any reason to mention that some of your dates may have been professionals. If you do, and your new lady has any insecurities, she'll always worry herself to death that that 'baseball game' you went to was a leggy brunette in a motel room. I'm not endorsing all-out lying, but you may want to exercise some discretion.
I don't see any reason to mention that some of your dates may have been professionals. If you do, and your new lady has any insecurities, she'll always worry herself to death that that 'baseball game' you went to was a leggy brunette in a motel room. I'm not endorsing all-out lying, but you may want to exercise some discretion.
LOL I loved the statement "she's been forthcoming" lol Yeah right, just remember: the number she gave you is half of what it really is....
1) WHO you were last with is really none of her damn business. PERIOD. Other than wondering about the possibility of a STD she doesn't need to know.
2) Don't worry about her wondering why you haven't been in a relationship for the past 6 yrs, hell, that's nothing new. I haven't been in one for...for...8 yrs? Something like that. Hell, I know people who haven't been involved with anyone for 10 yrs (and one of them is female).
3) If she asks, just tell her what Agraman said, you've had some dates, some one night stands, that's it. I mean, a famous complaint of women about men is they hate it when we talk about our exes too much. But then again, you've probably found the one that thinks you don't talk about them enough lol.
4) If she presses you on your history just say to her, listen, one thing about history, it is HISTORY, let's leave it at that? Let's concentrate on the future....
1) WHO you were last with is really none of her damn business. PERIOD. Other than wondering about the possibility of a STD she doesn't need to know.
2) Don't worry about her wondering why you haven't been in a relationship for the past 6 yrs, hell, that's nothing new. I haven't been in one for...for...8 yrs? Something like that. Hell, I know people who haven't been involved with anyone for 10 yrs (and one of them is female).
3) If she asks, just tell her what Agraman said, you've had some dates, some one night stands, that's it. I mean, a famous complaint of women about men is they hate it when we talk about our exes too much. But then again, you've probably found the one that thinks you don't talk about them enough lol.
4) If she presses you on your history just say to her, listen, one thing about history, it is HISTORY, let's leave it at that? Let's concentrate on the future....
Do not ever ever ever confide to a woman (other than a sex professional) that you have paid for sex. No matter how "cool" or "open" or "liberal" you may think she is - it will bite you in the ass.
This is also why one should never discuss the "hobby" with friends who one day may be introduced to a future girlfriend.
When it comes to "hobbying" just shut the fuck up, and take your secret to the grave.
This is also why one should never discuss the "hobby" with friends who one day may be introduced to a future girlfriend.
When it comes to "hobbying" just shut the fuck up, and take your secret to the grave.
don't ask don't tell about past stuff..
Just say I can't think of anyone .. since I met you ...
or some other slice of ham...
Just say I can't think of anyone .. since I met you ...
or some other slice of ham...
Lie. But base it on something close to the truth so you can keep your facts straight.
It may be "immature" and whatever else for people to ask these questions, but most people do sooner or later ask, and most people do get a little put off if you won't answer at all. It's reasonable to give a bit of an answer and refuse to provide the gory details, after answering a little bit say, "It was really nothing, I'd rather not talk about it" and let it go.
But you can't just say "I refuse to tell you anything at all", she'll reciprocate, and you don't want that.
It may be "immature" and whatever else for people to ask these questions, but most people do sooner or later ask, and most people do get a little put off if you won't answer at all. It's reasonable to give a bit of an answer and refuse to provide the gory details, after answering a little bit say, "It was really nothing, I'd rather not talk about it" and let it go.
But you can't just say "I refuse to tell you anything at all", she'll reciprocate, and you don't want that.
LOL I can just imagine if I was dating someone new and they asked me that....
Him : "So how many people have you slept with?"
Me : " Hmmm I'm not sure exactly, I'm guessing it is somewhere around 2000 maybe 2500."
Him : *choking*
Me : "Is that a lot? Does that bother you?"
Him : *Passing out*
LOL yeah that should go over real well.
Him : "So how many people have you slept with?"
Me : " Hmmm I'm not sure exactly, I'm guessing it is somewhere around 2000 maybe 2500."
Him : *choking*
Me : "Is that a lot? Does that bother you?"
Him : *Passing out*
LOL yeah that should go over real well.
