What's your bid?

[wrong hole]

From EYE magazine: Lovebites


"THE $20,000 CHERRY

I am a 23-year-old virgin. I have always waited for "the one" and perhaps have inflated the value of my virginity. In the past few months, it has become more of a burden than a point of pride. I want to get rid of it but I am not madly in love with anyone, don't think I ever have been and could wait indefinitely. I can't just go and do it with someone. It's been a prized part of me for so long! I am afraid of any wacky personal psychodrama that would ensue once I am stripped of my status should I just flick it off one night. So, my conclusion is that I should sell it. I don't have any moral qualms about doing so provided the price is right. I would like to know what your opinion is, as I have gotten horrified reactions from friends, most of whom are pretty liberal. Do you have any tips on making this happen safely? How do I go about finding a potential buyer? IN SEARCH OF HIGHEST BIDDER"

 

[wrong hole]

I'll bid a mechanical pencil, slightly used

That's no way to talk about your penis, sheik.....it's gotta be bigger then that?

 

[Goober Mcfly]

I bid information on Sheik's real position at TERB.

 

[Berlin]

I hope the virgin doesn't look anything like this

http://www.dropdeadugly.com/dp/2-11.htm

 

[eyeofthedragon]

I bid one slightly used kilt, information on Goober's real parents,
Sheik's guide on how to get women off in 10 seconds and season tickets to the Sens...

 

[[ALIMEISTER]]

I'll bid if i'm guaranteed MSOG.

 

[soylentknight]

How would she provide the necessary proof of her virginal status? Do we get a pre-inspection?

Maybe she just needs the right equipment...!

http://news.com.com/2009-1088-984352.html?tag=nefd_rndm

 

[Cardinal Fang]

Right then, my bid is as follows:

1. Proof that Sheik is only part Scottish and that he likes to wear skirts for "other reasons."
2. A personally autographed picture of Goober's Mom peeing standing up.
3. A compilation of short stories by Ref with an introduction by Strongbeau.
4. Alien's Theories on why Chihuahua’s will eventually replace German Shepherds as police dogs.
5. A restraining order issued by the State of California that prevents Jim Pansey ever using the term “Rack em up.”
6. A wonderful fish dinner.