What's up with Torontonian

[gentle_lover]

I used to live in Atlanta, GA and Orangeburg,SC and I loved it there.
I was in shock when I arrived in Toronto about the people. A lot of people who live in Toronto say that Americans are unfriendly and ignorant. I totally disagree with that. Where I used to live, strangers say "hi", "how are you" to each other and smile. They open the door and hold it for you. They say "Bless you" when you sneeze LOL. It is a lot easier to make conversation where I used to live. People in Toronto is so on-guard all the time. Here, sometime people will give you weird look when you try to make conversation and think you are crazy. Social manner as well, many of Torontonian seem don't have that. In the bus or subway, you will see elderly, disabled person, or pregnant women stand up and no one offers his or her seat. This is so crazy and embarrasing. Frankly, I'm not proud to be Torontonian. I'm embarrased. When I used to live in US, I took public transportation for a while before I got my own car. A lot of time, I stood up in a bus or subway train. You know why? Guys over there will offer their seat to woman, yes, ANY woman. I think that is absolutely incredible. That's why I know for sure that I am going back to live in US.

I'm not trying to offend anybody here, but that is what happening here in Toronto. Not all of Torontonian are like that, but most of them. I hope Toronto will change to a better city one day.

 

[Diode]

Ohhhhhh...so dammed true!!!!
Wait for a elevator in Toronto..( my home town) Nobody says "boo",
Any place in the States...People will say "Hi", "how y'all doing"...."nice day?!".

We Toronto people have to get it through our collective heads....We may be polite, but we sure ain't nice!

I wish it was not so...but My travels tell a story!

 

[The Fruity Hare]

What's up with Torontonian?

I think he got tired of playing second fiddle to The Lone Stranger and took it upon himself to go out there and shoot as many other Tontonians as he could! The newest Chinese sign-The Year of The Gun!

 

[gentle_lover]

Allanman- That's why I said Torontonian not Canadian. I've never been to
any other place in Canada except Toronto.

Ma-de-line - DITO man! That's how I feel as well.

 

[freshbreath]

I'm not trying to sound racist, but a large percentage of Torontonians were born elsewhere and are still learning what born-Canadians/Americans take for granted in terms of behaviour

That and the fact that Toronto is a really big city, much larger in size and in population that most cities in on the continent (I think it's 5th or 6th) so it's a very urban fast-paced city

BUT there is a different between politeness and actually trying to start a conversation with a random person
Toronto was listed as 3rd most polite city in the world behind Zurich (2) and New York City (1)

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/travel/m....xml&sSheet=/travel/2006/07/01/ixtrvhome.html

 

[High_Roller]

Geography lesson: Toronto is surrounded by NY and Detroit. Stuff rubs off, stuff crosses the border.

Madeline and gentle_lover: You guys are from the South and are probably accustomed to Southern Hospitality. Though I would think that Atlanta would have big city attitudes as well.

You will find similar hustle and bustle in NYC, Boston, Chicago, etc. Though I find New Yorkers the nastiest.

I'm in DC and I've noticed people becoming meaner over the years. We're getting close to NYC in attitude.

 

[Diode]

Geography lesson: Toronto is surrounded by NY and Detroit. Stuff rubs off, stuff crosses the border.

Madeline and gentle_lover: You guys are from the South and are probably accustomed to Southern Hospitality. Though I would think that Atlanta would have big city attitudes as well.

You will find similar hustle and bustle in NYC, Boston, Chicago, etc. Though I find New Yorkers the nastiest.

I'm in DC and I've noticed people becoming meaner over the years. We're getting close to NYC in attitude.

Chicago, is easily the friendliest big city I've ever been to. My last couple of Visits to NYC brought a smile to my face due to the positive and friendly attitude people had. Boston, seems a bit like Toronto, except for the fact that restuarant works seem to appreiciate your business ( unlike TO).
In Atlanta, people are downright galant.
Least Friendly city I've been to, (N.A.) Seattle. Much like Toronto, but wet most of the year.

 

[Eli]

Yep, I have to agree. For example Hispanic friends of mine have noted that Torontonians are "frio" (cold), and compared to places I've been in Latin America I know what they mean. It seems in Toronto everyone has their guard up and if you're not in their clique then you might as well be from Mars.

Too I have to say what's up with Toronto women? There have been numerous times when I've initiate some light friendly chat in passing or whatever and you just get this vibe from them like...disdain. You know, like you've commited a faux pas by speaking to someone outside of your class system or something. I don't mean to say all, but many that I've come across.

 

[gentle_lover]

Right on Eli and Diode! It is very true. I feel the same way guys. I can feel the vibe right away when I arrived in Toronto for the very first time. It was not a good and friendly vibe. The reason I moved to Toronto was because family matters. That's why I can't wait to go to U.S. when the time come.

True Eli! Mucho Frio! No bueno.

High Roller- You know what people have been telling me? Torontonian is New
New Yorker wannabe. Nothing is wrong with that, but still many
people say that New Yorkers are much nicer than most of
Torontonian. I know that 'cause I had experience with New
Yorkers. Atlanta is a big and busy city and yet they still have
time to say "hi", "how are you", "bless you" when you sneeze,
smile at you, hold the door open for you when they know that
you are coming, and all the nice things that I mentioned on my
first post.

Freshbreath- I know what you mean man and I understand those people and
where they come from. Some people really easy to adapt with
the new country's culture and some people don't. It is maybe
because they are too old to adapt or other reasons. As you can
see, kids are a lot easier and faster to learn new languages and
to adapt with new environment than older people. I understand
that. Before I started this thread, I already knew that Toronto
consists of many many many immigrants. I was talking about
the people who were born here in Toronto or Canada and live in
Toronto. I wasn't talking about the immigrants. I understand
their situations 'cause I'm immigrants myself.

 

[markvee]

I think that the temperature in Toronto is just right.

People in Toronto is so on-guard all the time. Here, sometime people will give you weird look when you try to make conversation and think you are crazy.

It's been my experience that people who initiate conversation in:
A) a subway or the street are crazy or drunk or looking for change.
B) a university coffee shop are Bible study group cult members with an agenda to recruit me.

Hence, the guardedness.

Every now and then someone comes asking for directions who I assume is not from the area. I give directions much more pleasantly when the request is preceded by an "excuse me" or "pardon me" or "would you please" instead of the usual, "Do you know were ___ is?" followed by a lack of thanks for directions given.

I used to live in Atlanta, GA

I spent a week in Atlanta. I didn't see anyone give up a seat on the subway, but I did notice the urine stench and the intercom informing me to report suspicious activity to police. I walked around the downtown and didn't notice much pedestrian traffic, but I did notice numerous car alarms going off at night. I learned to put on my best Toronto cold face and speed walk because even the slightest acknowledgement of another inividual on the sidewalk was taken as an invitation to join me on my walk and engage me in conversation. The conversation always ended in, "I'm homeless. Can you give me $5?" If a trip involved a subway ride and a short walk, I learned that it was more efficient to pay the $8 cab fare. I easily recommend Toronto over Atlanta.

I would be more open to engaging strangers in conversation if:
A) they were unlikely to have an agenda.
B) they used "please" and "thank you" when they wanted something.

 

[jgw]

So true!

Toronto has such an attitude of superiority over the rest of eastern Canada. But what really comes accross is just rude snobbery.

Thankfully I am out of Toronto for good!

 

[tboy]

So true!

Toronto has such an attitude of superiority over the rest of eastern Canada. But what really comes accross is just rude snobbery.

Thankfully I am out of Toronto for good!

Yeah, I think it is the wannabe Mahattan that is the problem....Though it depends on where you go. In the beaches especially people are really friendly and up around bathurst and wilson.

No matter how bad we torontonians seem, it is nothing compared to New York City....compared to NYC, torontonians are all warm and fuzzy teddy bears welcoming everyone with open arms....

I've been to Atlanta numerous times and yes, the southern hospitality is prevalant but don't go to the east side of 75, I was told that is the danger zone. Buckhead is a great area...lots of hotties that are friendly too.

Most friendly place I was in in the US was Salt Lake City...hell, it must be the mountain air because they were even MORE friendly than Calgarians.....

 

[Svend]

Many (most?) people in Toronto are from other places, the coldness seems to infect them as well and they are aware of it.
At least for some it's just a thin veneer of ice, they will defrost quickly. For others, perhaps they are attracted to the cold since it suits their own climate.

 

[registrar1]

I also think some part of the collective memory of the city derives from it's British colonial roots and the historic British commercial influences. I'd describe Torontonians as reserved and polite as opposed to friendly and outgoing. However I think it is breaking down with the increasing mix of peoples in the city (with it whole set of good and bad, perceived and real). And of course Toronto has the hustle and rush of urban life in a large city and how that can tend to erode civility if not friendliness.

As to comparing with the U.S. ... the southeast and south central U.S. I definitely found more classic genteel behaviour. I wouldn't have called it pervasive but definitely enough to notice a difference. However I wouldn't describe all of the U.S. as like this or more friendly than Toronto.

tboy, as for SLC I just found the people hopped up on joy ... a lot to be said to be living in your promised land. ref to all the mormons. The year I spent there was an interesting experience to say the least.

 

[John Holmes]

I used to live in Atlanta, GA and Orangeburg,SC and I loved it there.
I was in shock when I arrived in Toronto about the people. A lot of people who live in Toronto say that Americans are unfriendly and ignorant. I totally disagree with that. Where I used to live, strangers say "hi", "how are you" to each other and smile. They open the door and hold it for you. They say "Bless you" when you sneeze LOL. It is a lot easier to make conversation where I used to live. People in Toronto is so on-guard all the time. Here, sometime people will give you weird look when you try to make conversation and think you are crazy. Social manner as well, many of Torontonian seem don't have that. In the bus or subway, you will see elderly, disabled person, or pregnant women stand up and no one offers his or her seat. This is so crazy and embarrasing. Frankly, I'm not proud to be Torontonian. I'm embarrased. When I used to live in US, I took public transportation for a while before I got my own car. A lot of time, I stood up in a bus or subway train. You know why? Guys over there will offer their seat to woman, yes, ANY woman. I think that is absolutely incredible. That's why I know for sure that I am going back to live in US.

I'm not trying to offend anybody here, but that is what happening here in Toronto. Not all of Torontonian are like that, but most of them. I hope Toronto will change to a better city one day.

You are 100 % right! Toronto is a cold and selfish city. I spent some time in Halifax, and the people there were so friendly and welcoming. Also I was in Detroit for a while and even though it’s a hard and tough city, the people there were friendlier than here in T.O.

 

[swine]

I find that most of the EEs here are very cold, including the ones I work with. I think that's how they were brought up.

 

[gentle_lover]

I think that the temperature in Toronto is just right.



It's been my experience that people who initiate conversation in:
A) a subway or the street are crazy or drunk or looking for change.
B) a university coffee shop are Bible study group cult members with an agenda to recruit me.

Hence, the guardedness.

Every now and then someone comes asking for directions who I assume is not from the area. I give directions much more pleasantly when the request is preceded by an "excuse me" or "pardon me" or "would you please" instead of the usual, "Do you know were ___ is?" followed by a lack of thanks for directions given.



I spent a week in Atlanta. I didn't see anyone give up a seat on the subway, but I did notice the urine stench and the intercom informing me to report suspicious activity to police. I walked around the downtown and didn't notice much pedestrian traffic, but I did notice numerous car alarms going off at night. I learned to put on my best Toronto cold face and speed walk because even the slightest acknowledgement of another inividual on the sidewalk was taken as an invitation to join me on my walk and engage me in conversation. The conversation always ended in, "I'm homeless. Can you give me $5?" If a trip involved a subway ride and a short walk, I learned that it was more efficient to pay the $8 cab fare. I easily recommend Toronto over Atlanta.

I would be more open to engaging strangers in conversation if:
A) they were unlikely to have an agenda.
B) they used "please" and "thank you" when they wanted something.

A week? I lived there for years my friend LOL.
It seems like most of guys here agreed about Toronto....not a friendly city.

 

[WinterHawk]

Born and raised in Toronto...

I think it all depends on where you go, how you look and your attititude.

Yes people in Toronto have an ATTITUDE. You want to know why? WERE TOO DAM BUSY PAYING TAXES TO SUPPORT THE REST OF THE COUNTRY! You can have a smile on your face in most places in this country because they are not under the pressures we are. You'd be pissed off too if you had to drive an hour each way to work on the 401 with it's constant construction. Ever notice all of the Transports on it, they're just passing through at RUSH HOUR making an already long drive MISSERIBLE. The Subway here was incredible once, but then they stopped building it, didn't focus on public transit to help make neighbourhoods. Instead you have VAST tracks of housing were nobody knows their neighbour, you have to drive to the local MEGA MALL because there is no corner store or super market. The bank were you knew all of the tellers by name has been closed and amaligamated in the name of efficiency not customer service.

What's the commute time in Halifax, Montreal, Ottawa, Calgary? This city is suffering from years of neglect by all levels of goverment and we're wearing out, getting dam cranky about it too!

So while your taking a 30 mininute commute on a 30 year old bus, smelling the arm pit of humanity all around emersed in languages, sights and smells that are nothing but funky, it's hard to put a smile on your face.

You'll hear stories on how unfriendly we are to people, how cold. Were just too dam tired to smile, frustrated that we too can't live in a small town where everyone went to the same school, or you can walk to work. The local hangout you had as a kid is long gone, the stores and resturants you remember as a kid are gone and the neighbourhood changed from Italian, Polish, German, Irish, to Indian and Vietmese.

Hell the Don Mills Centre, the first PLANNED Mall in Canada is no more, torn down to be developed as Condo's, despite the objects of the neighbourhood.

Somebody's got to do the dirty work that the rest of the country just can't do. We can't all work for the GOVERMENT. SOMEBODY got to pay the bills, and that somebody is TORONTO.

Yes, I remember when this was TORONTO the Good, when EVERYTHING was closed on a Sunday even the resturants. When the cops would take you down to Cherry Beach to teach you some manners, when there we sang "God Save the Queen" before "Oh Canada", and the flag in the corner of the class room was the Union Jack. But the city then was new and growing, everyone had optimism about the future.

People here lost that optimism and spirt of good will, and until that can be restored, we're gonna be cold and miserible.

 

[hooktonsc]

I've lived here (Toronto, not TERB) all my life and I agree with the fact that people have a cold facade in Toronto. I've travelled all over the States and can say that even NYC (in the fun places, clubs, bars, etc.) people seemed friendlier, and southerners seemed extremely friendly by comparison. A couple thoughts - (i) the NYC people partying it up were from all over the world with no connections and were desperate to socialize; when I got to know some born-and-bred New Yorkers, they seemed a helluva lot colder (downright mean) compared to Torontonians; and (ii) just because southerners seem friendly does not mean that they are genuinely friendly - while they're 'hospitable' on one hand, on the other hand they sure as hell have a bad record of how they actually treat people that are not like them. I learned a southern saying, 'just cause they're friendly doesn't mean they're your friends'.

I'll take a cold facade any day over a guy who smiles at me in the daytime and wears a white hood at night.

 

[markvee]

It seems like most of guys here agreed about Toronto....not a friendly city.

I don't deny it, but I like how Svend described the coldness of Toronto.

Many (most?) people in Toronto are from other places, the coldness seems to infect them as well and they are aware of it.
At least for some it's just a thin veneer of ice, they will defrost quickly. For others, perhaps they are attracted to the cold since it suits their own climate.

You'd be surprised how far a kind word will take you in Toronto. "Please" and "thank you" get me almost everywhere I need to go.

Also, have you ever considered that maybe the reason that the guy in the subway station has no time to talk to you is because he's got to get going somewhere? Or that the gal in the supermarket just wants to get her shopping done? People go on about the selfishness of Toronto, but how selfish is it to expect people going about their daily lives to act like your personal hospitality industry?

A week? I lived there for years my friend LOL.

I experienced more aggressive panhandling in a day in Atlanta than I have in 5 years in Toronto. Hospitality accompanied by a request for cash is not true hospitality to me. Go ride the subway today in each city and take a walk down the major streets. Go visit some strip clubs along the way. Then tell me where you would rather live.