What should i do?

[LateComer]

The Economics of Prostitution

Here is an article that puts a different perspective on why a man would want to know your past. A woman has to choose if she is going to be a "good girl" or a "bad girl". Being a "bad girl" is easy money but you limit yourself as marriage/girlfriend material. The challenge is finding a man that is willing to accept you for who you are and not what you were.
http://www.forbes.com/2006/02/11/economics-prostitution-marriage_cx_mn_money06_0214prostitution.html

Edit: I just realized you are still an SP. Good luck.

 

[pritty_kitten]

in our conversations i have mentioned that i work for a friend, which is true and i have not gotten into further detail about my work. i will tell him if he makes it past the first date, perhaps on the 2nd or third.

 

[MindJohn]

Well i havent started a thread in a long time....Not many odd stories to tell....let me just start by saying hello to you guys and gals on the board.

Should an MPA or SP disclose what she does to earn a living if she starts seeing someone? Should she wait until things progress or be upfront and honest from the start?

Thoughts?

This is a fantastic question, and one that needs lots of qualifiers.

(a) (re: others who have mis-stated reality) A woman is under NO moral obligation to disclose to a present parter that she "used to" be a working girl. IF she merely convinces herself that she has no STD's to share, then she need not ever make mention of her past occupation. (that apparently does NOT apply to the original poster)

(b) The best advice for a woman soon to tell a new boyfriend that she is currently a working girl... is that she do so while showing as much personal comfort as possible with her own decision to be a working girl. That is to say, do not begin like a sixteen-year-old girl just home after curfew: "I, uhhhh, errrr, ummmmmmm, aaaaaack... uhhhhhhhhh, I don't know... "

True that it may be tough to get the budding relationship past the point of this disclosure, but it tips the odds toward success a bit if approaching it with a straight-in-the-eyes, matter-of-factness that when matched with an attractive woman, can really persuade an uncertain fellow.

Upon his initial reaction, do NOT go silent on the topic... he is curious, and if you clam-up with discomfort then you're back to the sixteen-year-old response.

Let him ask questions, and if he asks an unfair one, tell him so. Otherwise, dare to answer any sincere questions put to you by this person to whom you've just disclosed your deepest secret.

You may indeed have to call upon your "actress" abilities which may have been finely honed in this business. If you can't actually feeeeeeeel comfortable, then you do the best acting job you've ever done if only to seeeeeeeeeem comfortable in his eyes, as this delicate topic is discussed.

I don't actually know the answers about the exact timing of such a disclosure. If you **know** with 98% certainty that you have no STDs, then you really aren't obligated to spill the beans until you're good and ready to tell.

Don't forget the part about looking and seeming comfortable with yourself.

 

[pritty_kitten]

i am totally comfortable with what i do, and have no problem with it. Some guys i have dated, seriously or other wise have, and some didnt care because they enjoyed my company. the people who have gotten to know me over the years, know that i am responsible adult who would not put my health at risk and play safe while im at work and in my personal life.

I am just wondering what to do because this person is a new friend in my life who really has no idea about me, and my career and im not sure how to handle the situation. I think i will go with my gut on this one and wait it out. I will tell him if i decide to go out with him on a second date. I dont usually jump in the sack on the first date with a guy, its not my nature so the risk of an std is gone (besides, i am very clean and get regular check ups, im anal like that).

we shall see how it goes. We should be having our first date sometime this week. I am a little nervous, havent done this in a while. I know how to deal with men when im at work, but i wonder how i will deal with one on a date where we are just getting to know eachother. Scary stuff.

 

[magicmanofmassage]

Nothing wrong with the second/third date, good decision. You don't owe a one night stand any explanation for anything!

Hell I know before our first date and I'm fine with it!

 

[trisket]

It sounds like you're using good judgment, pritty.

Each situation is different, keep going with your instincts on when or if you tell guys.

 

[skypilot]

We should be having our first date sometime this week. I am a little nervous, havent done this in a while. I know how to deal with men when im at work, but i wonder how i will deal with one on a date where we are just getting to know eachother. Scary stuff.

Just be very very careful that at the end of the evening you don't slip and tell him to lie on the coffee table so you can give him a happy ending!

 

[shakenbake]

...................................................................................................

we shall see how it goes. We should be having our first date sometime this week. I am a little nervous, havent done this in a while. I know how to deal with men when im at work, but i wonder how i will deal with one on a date where we are just getting to know eachother. Scary stuff.

Just be yourself and you will not have to worry about it! Remember, you are an intelligent, good-looking and sweet Lady.

 

[nautilus]

Funny, I decide not to hobby for a month, and I end up dating Pritty Kitty!
I knew this would work itself out somehow.

 

[pritty_kitten]

well i expect all the bells and whistles nautilus!! and no i wont sleep with you on the first date, even if i know that it will be good.