What is your best piece of advice for a young man about to get married or live together?

[barnacler]

I will start things off:

when picking a movie, NEVER agree that you will have a policy to watch something you BOTH like.

Instead, agree that you will take turns picking what movie you watch.

Why, because otherwise you will NEVER get to watch what you want, what you "Both Like" will be what she likes and you can't stand but you go along with anyhow.

 

[poker]

No hookers.

 

[barnacler]

Next, don't go down the "Go all out for Valentine's Day" road.

You are digging yourself into a hole, and every year thereafter you will be required to do at least as good as the year before. It is the" ratchet effect", also known as the "rat shit" effect.

Otherwise, for years after, you will be sitting in a restaurant filled with other couples, trying to pretend that it is romantic to pay twice the price for some over-priced Valentine's day set menu, hating every moment of it.

 

[barnacler]

Next, do UNEXPECTED nice things, on a day/time of your own choosing. Worth 25 times as much as on an expected day.

 

[barnacler]

Have your own space and DO NOT LET IT BE ENCROACHED UPON.

 

[barnacler]

Be aware of the silent treatment, and respond to it with.....the opposite of what is expected - a sense of joy, happiness, totally ignoring your "required' behaviour, which is fear, nervousness, silence, and a general state of walking on eggshells. Cheerfully STOMP on those eggshells!

Teach 'em that it doesn't work in the slightest.

 

[hemiman]

DONT DO IT!!
No marriage, No cohabitation, No children.

Go MGTOW and stack your cash. You'll never be happier.

 

[harryass]

if u really love her, its tough, but no hobbies on the side.

 

[bazokajoe]

Rock solid pre-nup.

 

[barnacler]

Rock solid pre-nup.

Hard to bring movies and valentine's day and the silent treatment into a pre-nup, but it should be worth a try!

Actually, what a great idea, an EMOTIONAL and General RELATIONSHIP rules pre-nup!

 

[barnacler]

Just be open and honest with her and show her you expect the same. Accept her faults and treat her with respect. A lot of us on this board have an aversion to relationships so your going to get some negative feed back. Because as you say you are young this is an experience that every young man should have. Don't forget to tell her you love her, you'll find that goes along way.

I am NOT young!

 

[ptp]

Put down the toilet seat .

 

[xmontrealer]

Watch how she treats waiters and other service people cuz that's likely how she'll treat you in a couple of years. Also look at how her mother treats her father, as that's likely the primary example she learned from...

 

[xmontrealer]

You should both be allowed to have separate bank accounts with the right to spend money, within your means, that you don't have to account to each other for...

 

[xmontrealer]

Put down the toilet seat .

Maybe she should put the seat up

 

[chrispalen]

Watch how she treats waiters and other service people cuz that's likely how she'll treat you in a couple of years. Also look at how her mother treats her father, as that's likely the primary example she learned from...

Find them, Fuck them and LEAVE them. FTFTLT in short.

CP

 

[xmontrealer]

Be very careful if you're marrying an only child. She may be used to being the sun, moon, and stars...

 

[xmontrealer]

Marry for compatibility much more than passion. But there should be some passion, at least in the early years...

 

[Spacealien2]

don't get married

 

[jeff2]

Marry for compatibility much more than passion. But there should be some passion, at least in the early years...

Yes, and I would add that you might not have the same interests, but you need the same values.