Some gals just dont ever say a word when prego ,then they go looking for the guy later on .......I really dont get it why they dont give the guy a chance from the go to be in the kids life .I am sure they have there own legitimate reasons for doing so but if he was a real meathead then why contact him now ?.Is it just a money thing or what ?Sometimes the guy is thrilled at the news and others frankly dont handle it well at all .One of my classmates from college told me she wants me to help her find the dad since he lives near me ....I told her i hope shes a friggen 100% correct before this big news ........I just wonder how this guy is gonna take it ....... .How would you react knowing this gal didnt tell you for 6 years?
What if you find out 6 years later your a daddy ?
- Thread starter Alexis696969
- Start date
Personally I would not wish to be put in the middle of that one. I would tell my friend I hope you understand but this could turn ugly I am willing to listen to your feelings later if conflicts arise but do not wish to be pulled right into the middle of this.
I totally agree to a point
However if i do go with her for support since shes unable to go on her own .....I want to see the DNA first ,otherwise she could turn this into a Maury Povich show with going down the list of 10 guys..."whos your daddy '?.. .....nothing wrong either if she cant find the guy .....but i keep thinking if this is the guy I wonder how this guy will react to this news ....Its sad for the innocent kid though if he doesnt take it well if its him
However if i do go with her for support since shes unable to go on her own .....I want to see the DNA first ,otherwise she could turn this into a Maury Povich show with going down the list of 10 guys..."whos your daddy '?.. .....nothing wrong either if she cant find the guy .....but i keep thinking if this is the guy I wonder how this guy will react to this news ....Its sad for the innocent kid though if he doesnt take it well if its him
I would file suit aginst her to verify my parenthood.
Then sue her for depriving me of parental rights for 6 years
I would also file for custody based on her decision to exclude me from the childs life and demand supervised visitations for her and a counselor to see her to determine if she is fit.
Then sue her for depriving me of parental rights for 6 years
I would also file for custody based on her decision to exclude me from the childs life and demand supervised visitations for her and a counselor to see her to determine if she is fit.
On this I can see how some young women may decide that it was concentual sex and bingo this is what happened. They do not feel anyone is obligated.
I respect that approach more than you know.
I can also see how down the road they want the child to know their father.
What might have seemed like a good idea takes on other implications.
It would be somewhat of a surprise to learn you had a child some years down the road. If the mother is not demanding support/back payments then I suppose you'd have to consider meeting your child.
Obviously tests would need to be done.
I know I would want to know I had a child and know more about them.
I had a similar incident happen to me many many years ago (1975) when a much younger woman that I had been dating (she was 19 I was 26) told her father she was pregnant and I was the dad. Obviously Dad comes to me and says DO THE RIGHT THING...I did. I asked for a blood test. I told him I was certain it was not my child and almost certain she was not pregnant. Knowing the cycles..etc.
Have to admit my ass sure puckered up when he met me at my car...lol
She was not pregnant and he later apologised. Thanks God it wasn't the Southern US! I could have been married to her with a chain around my neck! And that goat might have looked pretty good right now!
M2
I respect that approach more than you know.
I can also see how down the road they want the child to know their father.
What might have seemed like a good idea takes on other implications.
It would be somewhat of a surprise to learn you had a child some years down the road. If the mother is not demanding support/back payments then I suppose you'd have to consider meeting your child.
Obviously tests would need to be done.
I know I would want to know I had a child and know more about them.
I had a similar incident happen to me many many years ago (1975) when a much younger woman that I had been dating (she was 19 I was 26) told her father she was pregnant and I was the dad. Obviously Dad comes to me and says DO THE RIGHT THING...I did. I asked for a blood test. I told him I was certain it was not my child and almost certain she was not pregnant. Knowing the cycles..etc.
Have to admit my ass sure puckered up when he met me at my car...lol
She was not pregnant and he later apologised. Thanks God it wasn't the Southern US! I could have been married to her with a chain around my neck! And that goat might have looked pretty good right now!
M2
She is trying to rape me in courtScenicdrive said:Geezzz, you sound very fit to be a papa.LOL!!!
I will not stand by and get raped
Thats fine and dandy if you see the dna first and it is the guy, but you say i wonder how he will react one way or the other,. What if he goes beserk and pulls out a pistol and starts blasting away at both of ya? Take the other posters advice , dont touch this situation with a ten foot pole.The best thing to do is she needs to hire a lawyer and let him do the dirty work. If he gets shot its ok hes only a lawyer no great loss.Alexis696969 said:
Sorry DQI could see it in some ways why a woman would keep such a secret maybe she felt back then that if she told him he would say that she was forcing him to commit to her dependant on thier relationship back then. She may of not wanted this argument and decided it best just to raise it on her own. Maybe now the child is saying to her he wants to know his/her whole family or to meet the father if she was honest and never denied knowing who he was.
If she has no other reasons than seeking the father now other than for the happiness of the child then I do not think once explained the man should be too upset if he is a good man.
If she has no other reasons than seeking the father now other than for the happiness of the child then I do not think once explained the man should be too upset if he is a good man.
papasmerf said:
I dont question her parenting or his ...
I question both of there responibilities of having unprotected sex ..cause he obviously left the scene before she knew or this wouldnt be new news
I question hers in that she deprved the father of his rights and the child of their right to the father.Alexis696969 said:
If the father took a 1 day old child and denied it the mother, this would be kidnapping
Since when does both parents depriving the kid make it right ?
Mother raising a child without a father does not justify shes unfit no matter how hurt the father is -if he cares at all
the tug of war between the mother and father -will make the kid regret both in the end -very sad how many parents cant work together for the kids sake instead of always trying to be right-i hope for her case it works out for her kid
Mother raising a child without a father does not justify shes unfit no matter how hurt the father is -if he cares at all
the tug of war between the mother and father -will make the kid regret both in the end -very sad how many parents cant work together for the kids sake instead of always trying to be right-i hope for her case it works out for her kid
reverse the roles in thisAlexis696969 said:
Were it the dad it would be KID NAPPING
What makes a father less of a parent?
well then maybe guys that have sex unprotected should stick around longer to see the results after planting there seeds
it is kidnapping if you took away a child from a mother -yes
If you both were married would be kidnapping for the mother as well
a man can plant the seeds but that doesnt make him a father ...she on the other hand will carry that child for 9 mnths and become a mother regardless thats the difference
taking full custody of a child is very serious for a childs life to be deprived of the other just cause the parent hates the other parent is no justification for it --thats just being selfish and vengeful why its not common ....... for a child unless there is grounds of abuse from the other parent .....trying to find fault and being emotional isnt a reason to obtain custody
If a man sees this girls reason of not bending over backwards to try and track him down even though he dumper her .........and shes not positive its him .......... as to being selfish so be it but by her trying to reach out now is what should be focused on not then IMO
it is kidnapping if you took away a child from a mother -yes
If you both were married would be kidnapping for the mother as well
a man can plant the seeds but that doesnt make him a father ...she on the other hand will carry that child for 9 mnths and become a mother regardless thats the difference
taking full custody of a child is very serious for a childs life to be deprived of the other just cause the parent hates the other parent is no justification for it --thats just being selfish and vengeful why its not common ....... for a child unless there is grounds of abuse from the other parent .....trying to find fault and being emotional isnt a reason to obtain custody
If a man sees this girls reason of not bending over backwards to try and track him down even though he dumper her .........and shes not positive its him .......... as to being selfish so be it but by her trying to reach out now is what should be focused on not then IMO
