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What do you guys think?

P

player coach

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Oct 7, 2004
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Ok guys, I want some feedback on this situation:

Im dating a bartender at a very upscale restaurant in Toronto. Now she is very attractive and and I frequent the place quite often and I see guys hitting on her alll the time(it is where we met). So here is thing. She tells me that she doesnt reallly want to be displaying affection or have anyone at work know cause she says as bartenders, they should look available or guys wont spend money. Now, I think Im okay with it but a part of me thinks that maybe she just wants the attention from other guys. She seems really really into me. Do you guys think she doesnt want anyone to know because she likes being available or are her reasons justified for keeping us on the DL?
 
Dude. put the insecurity away. She relies on TIPS to really make an income. When was the last time you tipped a hot bartender well when he creepy insecure SO was nearby giving you the evil look?
 
player coach said:
Ok guys, I want some feedback on this situation:

Im dating a bartender at a very upscale restaurant in Toronto. Now she is very attractive and and I frequent the place quite often and I see guys hitting on her alll the time(it is where we met). So here is thing. She tells me that she doesnt reallly want to be displaying affection or have anyone at work know cause she says as bartenders, they should look available or guys wont spend money. Now, I think Im okay with it but a part of me thinks that maybe she just wants the attention from other guys. She seems really really into me. Do you guys think she doesnt want anyone to know because she likes being available or are her reasons justified for keeping us on the DL?
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don't visit her while she's working
 
Ditto. Either you can deal with it, or move on find another girl who is less desireable.
 
YOu guys are right. Im trying to put the insecurity aside. Easier said than done. Im not usually this insecure. Actually, I never am but its obvious that if she isnt with me, she wont have any problems moving on to the next. As for not going there, thats difficult cause me and my buddies have been hanging out there for a while now and it doesnt look like it will stop
 
I don't tip married waitressess

I don't tip engaged waitresses

I don't tip ugly waitresses

I don't tip pretty waitresses that have insecure boyfriends

Grow some attachments man.
 
If you can't handle seeing her at work—and that's what you've described—then you stop visiting her at work, or she stops working where you and your buds hang. Care to guess how that proposition will go over?

You may find others in more or less the same boat posting in the Strip Club Forum under titles like " How can I tell if she's really interested?" Somehow the last attitude they seem to think needs adjusting is theirs; don't be like them.
 
player coach said:
What do you guys think?
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You have shown weakness and your days are numbered.
 
hahaha what a moron... where does she work... if she is hot then when she meets a real man she is soo gone.. don't be a wuss.. she is not going to put up with that... she loves the attention and she make she money from it... she has it all... she has power over the wussy men that think she might give them a chance with her... you met her there... and she will meet her next man there also( chances are it will happen).. bar tenders are worse than the girls that go to bars to get picked up...( seeking attention and power... it is all about, who has the power over the other..)
 
It's all about the tips and tax free income... well at least 90% usually ends up being undeclared income.

Leave her alone... good looking women who cock tease make much more money. Have confidence in your relationship or get out of it now.
 
Shit dude, I'd hate to see ya try to date a MPA or SP.
Quit feeling inferior already. She is with you and somehow picked you for some reason above all the rest. Be proud (if she is really all that) and get over the jealousy or else she will bolt.
 
Hey coach, are you actively hobbying??? Do you see yourself behaving in the way you fear the woman you are dating behave??? Fear and Insecurity are the offspring Mistrust. The inability to Trust demonstrates an immature or undeveloped healthy emotional Self.

You give your Trust. If it is abused...you walk. The bigger man for it. If it is reciprocated ...you reap the rewards. A Win-Win for you either way.

You with-hold your Trust she feels abused and insulted...she walks and leaves you in your shit. Or she stays and you both live in the shit. A Lose-Lose.

If as you say you never have these feelings of insecurity you are denying them. Its time to take a good hard look in the mirror my friend.
 
Of course, she could also have other boyfriends who drop by to see her at work, and she doesn't want you to know about it...............

Any other hints that she's messing around? If not, then the other guys are right - you should just drop it and let her do her job. But, if there are other things bugging you, there might be something to it. None of us know her or you, so its up to you to figure out. Bonne Chance.
 
Thanks guys for all the replies. I think the best advice is to hit on the bartender next door. There are things that have happened that have made me question her loyality although she continues to say how much she "adores me". THINK I need to let her go.
 
stinkynuts said:
How do I get rid of the foul stench that emanates from my twins? :o
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First shave them with an old rusty blade.

Then rub nair over them for about an hour.

Finally dip them in rubbing alcohol for 20 mins.



Won't take care of the smell, but you won't notice it for a while......
 
Even in a relationship, you can`t expect 100% claim on her body, mind and sexuality; she had other uses for them before she met you, and, as long as she is not breaking any trusts, she`s entitled to keep them.
But if you agreed to monogamy, I could understand having a probem with it if she`s sleeping with them... At any rate you will do what it takes to feel secure, and that is a good priority to have.
 
player coach said:
its obvious that if she isnt with me, she wont have any problems moving on to the next.
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The truth of it is that most women, regardless of looks, usually dont have any problems moving on.

One thing any person has difficulty dealing with is an insecure partner. Its the best way to drive them away.

If she worked at a convenience store or an office it would not be appropriate for you to go in and display affection. Why would it be appropriate in a bar?

Also, why do you assume that a hot woman will cheat on you? Do unattractive women have higher morals?
 
player coach said:
Thanks guys for all the replies. I think the best advice is to hit on the bartender next door. There are things that have happened that have made me question her loyality although she continues to say how much she "adores me". THINK I need to let her go.
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If she's done anything for you to not trust her. There's probably a reason for it. I once dated a bartender, didn't meet her where she worked. I soon found out she cheated on me with numerous patrons. I guess that helped her with tips LOL
 
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