Was I wrong to stop an appointment for no solid reason?

[Angel_Eyes]

I met the first person that I had made an appointment with yesterday. He looked to be in his early to mid-thirties and when I first saw him, I felt abit uneasy, but I figured that was just my nervousness and that things should settle down after I met and talked to him for abit. So we did chat for a while about regular things and I still didn't feel quite comfortable. He seemed ok and personable from what I could tell and everything seemed to be going the way I thought it would (meet, chat abit, then the session), except the uneasiness didn't go away.

We talked for about 10 minutes or so and then he said that he was satisfied with everything and wanted to continue on with the next part of our appointment. At this point I apoligised and told him I was feeling uncomfortable with going further and that we should end things here and he looked surprised and asked me what was wrong. I told him again that I didn't feel comfortable enough to go on, but that didn't seem to be an adaquate explaination for him and he wanted to know specifically what the problem was and what could be done to proceed with our appointment. This went on for a few minutes and it didn't look to be going anywhere so I apologised again and as I began to get up to leave, he took hold of one of my overcoat sleeves briefly before I asked him to please let me go and pulled away. As I was walking away though, he got up and followed me and then overtook me and blocked my path. There was another discussion for abit and then he took out his wallet and showed me that it was full of bills and asked me how much more would it take to change my mind. I told him that I thought that this meeting was to see if we were comfortable with each other and if one or the other wasn't then the appointment could end. There was another few minutes where I was repeating myself several times and then finally he relented and let me leave after I agreed to keep in contact with him and maybe see him in the future.

Throughout the whole time, he seemed to be calm but quite persistent and I guess from the time I saw him, I wasn't sure I could go through with it. His stature did kind of intimidate me abit I think and during our conversation, the way he was looking at me made me not look directly at him very often and caused me to use my arms to try and cover myself abit. But overall he seemed ok, not unattractive and just your average guy. So I'm wondering was it wrong to stop the appointment? Should I have just bit the bullet and have gone through with it even though I didn't feel too comfortable with him? I guess I was pretty jittery and maybe if he wasn't the first person I met, it might have turned out differently, I don't know. Hopefully I'll be a little less stressed now when I meet the next person.

 

[Never Compromised]

I told him that I thought that this meeting was to see if we were comfortable with each other and if one or the other wasn't then the appointment could end. There was another few minutes where I was repeating myself several times and then finally he relented and let me leave after I agreed to keep in contact with him and maybe see him in the future....

Should I have just bit the bullet and have gone through with it even though I didn't feel too comfortable with him? I guess I was pretty jittery and maybe if he wasn't the first person I met, it might have turned out differently, I don't know. Hopefully I'll be a little less stressed now when I meet the next person.

You should never do what you are not comfortable doing. But I do hope that you did not take any money for the appointment.

After you get over the "first time jitters", you might want to offer that guy an extra half hour on the session to make up for his obvious disappointment.

 

[LordLoki]

ALWAYS trust your instincts. Money is not worth putting yourself at personal risk that can be avoided.. You may go further the next time with someone else or even with him, but always trust your instincts. Most people who survive very bad situations will tell you “my gut told me not to do it but I did it anyway”.

 

[tboy]

Well, according to fabulous, dates like this (getting to know you dates) are a big no no, nice to see someone who does them (unless you were charging him and were just being polite).

As stated, if you do feel uncomfortable with a client you always have the right to cancel but honestly, you have to look inside yourself and figure out if it was the guy, or the fact that you were sleeping with him for money. When you say: you met the first person I had an appointment with, was he your first client ever? or just the first of the day? If he was your first client ever, I'd say that maybe you're in the wrong business.

It is a fine line between actually having a valid reason to be uncomfortable (like he stinks, too aggressive, greets you at the door naked, etc) or just because you're sleeping with him for money. I guess what I'm trying to say is the whole sp hobby is an uncomfortable act in and of itself. Specially if you've never met the person before. I mean, you walk into a strange place and within an hour, are naked and having sex with a total stranger. Like I said: if that was the reason you were uncomfortable, then you really shouldn't be in this biz.

As for the way he was looking at you: I mean, to many guys who hobby, it is all about the physical and many are anxious to get to the good stuff. So many look intently at the ladie's bodies like a wolf about to devour a lamb lol. I know I've met a few sp's who upon meeting them, they were so hot and I was so revved up that I just wanted to peel off their clothes and get busy (though I don't ravage them until after we've chatted and gotten comfortable with each other but then there's a little ravaging going on both ways lol).

With all that being said however the ladies have to trust their gut instincts and if there is something that makes you uneasy, it is better to be safe than sorry.

 

[Fabulous]

Well, according to fabulous, dates like this (getting to know you dates) are a big no no, nice to see someone who does them (unless you were charging him and were just being polite).

tboy I am a pro, very experienced I can usually tell on the phone/email if a client is desirable to me. I am busy enough and I don't have to do meet and greets for no pay.

Why are you always comparing apples to oranges?

This is girl is just feeling out the scene to see if she wants to become a pro.

 

[tboy]

tboy I am a pro, very experienced I can usually tell on the phone/email if a client is desirable to me. I am busy enough and I don't have to do meet and greets for no pay.

Why are you always comparing apples to oranges?

This is girl is just feeling out the scene to see if she wants to become a pro.

Where did you read that? (about her "feeling out the scene") Did she post that somewhere else? This is why I asked if this was her first client ever.....see, I don't/didn't assume it was, or wasn't. I will wait for her answer, if she does.

As for being able to determine if a client is desireable to you or not, that is why (if you read my entire post) that just being uncomfortable because she's never done it before isn't a valid reason to not see a client. As a pro, you are probably pretty comfortable in a lot of circumstances where a newbie wouldn't be.

As for the meet and greets, did I say something that wasn't true? 1) You think they are a big no no and 2) If this really what it was, my opinion is that it is nice to see an sp doing this. Are either of those two statements not true? You're an sp, she's an sp, you don't approve of them, she does. What does experience have to do with the offerring of this action being nice or not?

 

[bangcamaro]

Throughout the whole time, he seemed to be calm but quite persistent and I guess from the time I saw him, I wasn't sure I could go through with it. His stature did kind of intimidate me abit I think and during our conversation, the way he was looking at me made me not look directly at him very often and caused me to use my arms to try and cover myself abit. But overall he seemed ok, not unattractive and just your average guy. So I'm wondering was it wrong to stop the appointment? Should I have just bit the bullet and have gone through with it even though I didn't feel too comfortable with him? I guess I was pretty jittery and maybe if he wasn't the first person I met, it might have turned out differently, I don't know. Hopefully I'll be a little less stressed now when I meet the next person.

I don't care what anyone says, you were in the right. It's your body, and you're practically giving yourself to this other person and if you don't feel comfortable you shouldn't have to suffer through it just because you don't want to "no". Everybody should be allowed to say "no"

I mean if the tables were turned and I felt uncomfortable with an SP I would have done the exact same thing. In fact, the same thing did happen.

She was not unattractive, but I felt uncomfortable and I told her that and I left. Mind you she was pretty pissed, but I was not going to go through with that if I didn't want to.

 

[S.C. Joe]

With him not just letting go and blocking your path, offering more money, he seems kind of strange. Theres many many hot ladies to see in Toronto. Why would he care if you changed your mind? Unless this happens often to him!

You did the right thing. I would stay away from him. Sure theres some ladies that like to stay with him, he should be seeing those ladies.

 

[tboy]

I agree with everything you said Camaro except for "you're practically giving yourself to this other person ".

She's not giving herself to this other person, it's a service that she is providing to a client and is being well re-imbursed monetarily for it. If she isn't comfortable with that, then she shouldn't be in this biz.

 

[tboy]

With him not just letting go and blocking your path, offering more money, he seems kind of strange. Theres many many hot ladies to see in Toronto. Why would he care if you changed your mind? Unless this happens often to him!

You did the right thing. I would stay away from him. Sure theres some ladies that like to stay with him, he should be seeing those ladies.

OK, I know we're all trying to be supportive and PC here but let's not over react. I mean, do you honestly think it's strange for a GASP man to be GASP persistant with a lady? Shit, that happens 7,804,203 times a night in every bar in every city in every country.

I mean seriously, if every guy gave up when he got the cold shoulder or a "no thanks" hell, our species would be doomed because only 1% of the male population would ever reproduce (I'm referring to the brad pitts/george clooneys of the world).

Look at it from the guy's perspective for a second: he meets up with an escort, thinks he's going to get some, through the whole time they're together everything seems fine then whoop, sorry cowboy....I'm outta here. Now couple that with no specific reason for her to want to leave, probably left him more than a little confused. I know I would be if that happened to me.

Again, I will repeat, an SP always has a right to say no and leave at any time for any valid reason but she should also return any funds that changed hands or a portion thereof.

 

[S.C. Joe]

Maybe thats my problem, I give up too fast But when it comes to escorts, I can understand that not every date will go great. I rather have a lady offer to leave, then just "put out" and not enjoy her time.

Once I notice a lady with her head turn, while I was with her. She made me feel not so great but she was on her last week and was planing on moving to another city, so maybe she was just "burnt out".

PS, on that trip I met 2 other gals and they seem to have a great time with me. So I don't get hung up on anybody. Hey, I am still single too

 

[tboy]

Maybe thats my problem, I give up too fast ....Hey, I am still single too

LOL I hear you dude, (not to hijack the thread) but I just don't have patience for the "chase" anymore, I leave that up to the younguns who have more time to kill lol.

 

[Fabulous]

I met the first person that I had made an appointment with yesterday. He looked to be in his early to mid-thirties and when I first saw him, I felt abit uneasy, but I figured that was just my nervousness and that things should settle down after I met and talked to him for abit. So we did chat for a while about regular things and I still didn't feel quite comfortable. He seemed ok and personable from what I could tell and everything seemed to be going the way I thought it would (meet, chat abit, then the session), except the uneasiness didn't go away.

We talked for about 10 minutes or so and then he said that he was satisfied with everything and wanted to continue on with the next part of our appointment. At this point I apoligised and told him I was feeling uncomfortable with going further and that we should end things here and he looked surprised and asked me what was wrong. I told him again that I didn't feel comfortable enough to go on, but that didn't seem to be an adaquate explaination for him and he wanted to know specifically what the problem was and what could be done to proceed with our appointment. This went on for a few minutes and it didn't look to be going anywhere so I apologised again and as I began to get up to leave, he took hold of one of my overcoat sleeves briefly before I asked him to please let me go and pulled away. As I was walking away though, he got up and followed me and then overtook me and blocked my path. There was another discussion for abit and then he took out his wallet and showed me that it was full of bills and asked me how much more would it take to change my mind. I told him that I thought that this meeting was to see if we were comfortable with each other and if one or the other wasn't then the appointment could end. There was another few minutes where I was repeating myself several times and then finally he relented and let me leave after I agreed to keep in contact with him and maybe see him in the future.

Throughout the whole time, he seemed to be calm but quite persistent and I guess from the time I saw him, I wasn't sure I could go through with it. His stature did kind of intimidate me abit I think and during our conversation, the way he was looking at me made me not look directly at him very often and caused me to use my arms to try and cover myself abit. But overall he seemed ok, not unattractive and just your average guy. So I'm wondering was it wrong to stop the appointment? Should I have just bit the bullet and have gone through with it even though I didn't feel too comfortable with him? I guess I was pretty jittery and maybe if he wasn't the first person I met, it might have turned out differently, I don't know. Hopefully I'll be a little less stressed now when I meet the next person.

Ok here I go....you probably won't like what I got to say but anyway: You are either IN or OUT. There is no in between here, because you are dealing with horny men who are expecting service not amateurish head games.

You already knew that this may not be for you, yet you played with this guy as if you chose your first victim for testing purposes. Not fair. If you can't handle the work, leave it to the pros. If you deal with men like that one of them is bound to hurt you in some way or another.

Oh and legally speaking you are committing a crime when soliciting sex in public.

 

[Herodotus]

Fabulous and tboy, you're both full of it.

OK, I know we're all trying to be supportive and PC here but let's not over react. I mean, do you honestly think it's strange for a GASP man to be GASP persistant with a lady? Shit, that happens 7,804,203 times a night in every bar in every city in every country.

I mean seriously, if every guy gave up when he got the cold shoulder or a "no thanks" hell, our species would be doomed because only 1% of the male population would ever reproduce (I'm referring to the brad pitts/george clooneys of the world).

Look at it from the guy's perspective for a second: he meets up with an escort, thinks he's going to get some, through the whole time they're together everything seems fine then whoop, sorry cowboy....I'm outta here. Now couple that with no specific reason for her to want to leave, probably left him more than a little confused. I know I would be if that happened to me.

Again, I will repeat, an SP always has a right to say no and leave at any time for any valid reason but she should also return any funds that changed hands or a portion thereof.

So which is it, she has the right to say "NO", or the horny cowboy deserves an explanation - even if that means he physically intimidates the girl to get it? I know you like to try and play the tough guy / devil's advocate, but do you actually believe your own rhetoric?

And where did it say she took any money? She met up with the guy at their mutual consent and convenience to see if there was any chemistry. He felt it, she didn't. She tried to end things, he tried to intimidate her into continuing. Her instincts were proven right. Dude was NOT cool at all. Persistent is one thing, grabbing at, blocking and not taking no for an answer at all is altogether different.

Ok here I go....you probably won't like what I got to say but anyway: You are either IN or OUT. There is no in between here, because you are dealing with horny men who are expecting service not amateurish head games.

You already knew that this may not be for you, yet you played with this guy as if you chose your first victim for testing purposes. Not fair. If you can't handle the work, leave it to the pros. If you deal with men like that one of them is bound to hurt you in some way or another.

Oh and legally speaking you are committing a crime when soliciting sex in public.

As a woman and someone in the industry, I thought you would be a lot more empathetic... then I remembered who we're dealing with here.

Angel_Eyes and this guy mutually agreed to meet before to see if both were ok to proceed. Horny men can still keep their cool. This guy did not. She met him, got a vibe and bailed. It happens. Lots of the ladies here have posted that they have ended sessions before they got started because they had a bad feeling. Luckily for her, she was able to bail before they were alone and she had accepted money.

And tell me, when you first started, you were an absolute "pro"? Had the whole game down? B.S.


To Angel_Eyes: I hope you learned a lesson from this. Now you have to make a decision as to whether it's worth it for you to proceed down this path.

 

[Mongrel4u]

I have to agree with Fabulous.

Sure if she gets a bad vibe she shouldnt go through with it.. but this sounds more like simply cold feet

 

[tboy]

Hero:

You're taking a very big thing for granted here: We're only getting ONE side of the story and as we all know, there are three sides: her side his side and the truth.

Now she may have felt he was "blocking" her, he may have felt he was in front of her to open the door and wanted to try one last time to convince her to stay.

Even by her own words I don't think the word INTIMIDATE could really come into play. I mean, he never threatened her, doesn't sound like he was impolite even when trying to convince her to stay, didn't say anything like: stay or I'll spread your name all over terb etc.

Now I know we ALL like to come to the rescue of a damsel in distress but let's take her story with a grain of salt ok? She's obviously new, was obviously out of her element (or so it seems)......

As for either or, why does it have to be either or? Why can't she say no, WITH an explanation. Remember we're not talking about a couple here, or a pickup in a bar, we're talking about a service person refusing to provide a service she was contracted for. Now her statement "I told him that I thought that this meeting was to...." now did HE know that?

Put it another way: you walk into a restaurant, the waiter comes over and tells you about the specials, then you ask about their steaks then the waiter says "i'm sorry sir, you'll have to leave, we can't serve you". Wouldn't you want an explanation? Never mind WANT an explanation, you'd deserve one.

Yeah, I know, this is more intimate than ordering food in a restaurant but this is a business, and she's a business person providing a service.

I mean she says so herself that through the whole time he seemed pleasant, nice, etc etc.

Put it another way: put yourself in his shoes: how would YOU feel if during a session the lady got up and said she has to leave because she's uncomfortable....wouldn't YOU be a little perplexed and ask why? (and we all know women are SO forthcoming with explanations for their actions lol).

 

[tboy]

I have to agree with Fabulous.

Sure if she gets a bad vibe she shouldnt go through with it.. but this sounds more like simply cold feet

Jesus, what's the world coming to? I agree with Mongrel AND Fab.... f me all to hell....now all I need is to have Hunter come in here and that'll be the end of it lol.

 

[gar]

Go work for one of the incall agencies. They usually have a safer group of regulars. The theory is they would've weeded out the difficult clients. Also the other girls in the apartment, provide a bit of security. Hone your instincts and then go indy.

 

[Fabulous]

As a woman and someone in the industry, I thought you would be a lot more empathetic... then I remembered who we're dealing with here.

Angel_Eyes and this guy mutually agreed to meet before to see if both were ok to proceed. Horny men can still keep their cool. This guy did not. She met him, got a vibe and bailed. It happens. Lots of the ladies here have posted that they have ended sessions before they got started because they had a bad feeling. Luckily for her, she was able to bail before they were alone and she had accepted money.

And tell me, when you first started, you were an absolute "pro"? Had the whole game down? B.S.


To Angel_Eyes: I hope you learned a lesson from this. Now you have to make a decision as to whether it's worth it for you to proceed down this path.

She can chicken out if she wants to that's her prerogative, but she asked if it was wrong for her to bail for NO GOOD REASON. As far as I can tell she had some sort of different expectations. Since I am only hearing one side of the story I believe she created the uncomfortable situation because her mind set was already on bailing.

She'll find that the next guy will be very much like the first one, just want to have sex and go on. I think Angel Eyes was looking for someone she can be attracted to. If that's the case she should be advertising on a dating site.

All I am saying is that she is playing a dangerous game and if it's true what she describes (the guy grabbing her and blocking her way) she is already half way there.

And once again public solicitation.

Re; me: when I got into this business I knew full well what I gotta do to get that money. Some people just need it spelled out to them. There is no if's or or's that's what this biz is all about SEX FOR MONEY. I wasn't a pro in an instant and sometimes learned the hard way.

Perhaps better let Angel Eyes do the same. There are lots of players in this game, she should use caution cause she is an easy target for a bad boy.

 

[hunter001]

A.E. as long as you didn't take any of the guy's money it doesn't seem like a big deal. Don't let anyone tell you that you have to go through with a session that you are not comfortable with.

If the guy is trying detain you who knows what might happen if he doesn't get what he wants in session.