My wife says I’m not capable of coming up with a method that allows me to write jokes about anything other than asses
But I think I’ve cracked it
But I think I’ve cracked it
Very Ominous
- Thread starter thumper18474
- Start date
if you have an itch to scratch. make a cut deep inside your pockets and if that's not relieving it. pull you pants down an masturbate in public
I used to have a loving family, a nice house and good car until I got involved with drugs.
Now I have an island and a yacht.
Now I have an island and a yacht.
Just watching a shifty looking geezer in the library searching intently through ths 'S' section of the dictionary, he's stopped now.
I think he's up to something.
I think he's up to something.
I'm in Amsterdam and I asked a prostitute how much, she said €150 per hour. Fuck off. I'm not paying €4.20 for sex.
My dog ate all the scrabble tiles so I took him to the vet.... No word yet.
As chairman of the Blind Society, I was accused of needlessly wasting money.
So I arranged a big fireworks display to cheer everyone up.
So I arranged a big fireworks display to cheer everyone up.
Very Omnibus thread? This is my favorite.
Omnibus-Mr-Midshipman-Lieutenant-ebook/dp/B00358VI6E
Omnibus-Mr-Midshipman-Lieutenant-ebook/dp/B00358VI6E
If you meet a girl who admits she's wrong
Apologizes and changes her ways....
Dump her..it might be a man..
Women don't do that
Apologizes and changes her ways....
Dump her..it might be a man..
Women don't do that
I run a very exclusive cemetery. People are dying to get in.
I asked my date to meet me at the gym and she didn't show up. That's when I new it wasn’t going to work out
As I sailed away from the Island of lollipops...never to return..tears welled in my eyes as I said goodbye to each and every one of them..the only friends I have ever known..
"So long suckers"
I whispered thru trembling lips
"So long suckers"
I whispered thru trembling lips
Someone asked me once...What's the perfect date..
I said
DD/MM/YYYY
Those other formats are confusing
I said
DD/MM/YYYY
Those other formats are confusing
My dreams in life
1: Win the lotto, get a morticians license and open a funeral palour in Newfoundland called Dead Newfie Storage because storing dead newfies is our fucking business, didn't you see the sign on the front lawn?
2: Get a Porche and have Porche Monkey 4 life printed on the sides or back. It's OK I'm bringing it back.
3: Get a job at a shop that sells porn and sex toys. Then I can tell people my job is selling Pornography and Pornographic accessories I tell you what. I even have the DGS for it, just need a waifu with big feet and a son who ain't quite right.
4: Get a job in the shipping department of a fudge company and work my way up to assistant manager. I'd be a fudge packing ass man.
I am not a complicated person.
1: Win the lotto, get a morticians license and open a funeral palour in Newfoundland called Dead Newfie Storage because storing dead newfies is our fucking business, didn't you see the sign on the front lawn?
2: Get a Porche and have Porche Monkey 4 life printed on the sides or back. It's OK I'm bringing it back.
3: Get a job at a shop that sells porn and sex toys. Then I can tell people my job is selling Pornography and Pornographic accessories I tell you what. I even have the DGS for it, just need a waifu with big feet and a son who ain't quite right.
4: Get a job in the shipping department of a fudge company and work my way up to assistant manager. I'd be a fudge packing ass man.
I am not a complicated person.
