Value Judgements on Promiscuity

[drlove]

I went for my routine std check today (twice yearly). Anyhow, when the doc came in she asked me the usual q's about my sexual history. When I told her my numbers, she looked like she was going to have a heart attack! She proceeded to ask where I was finding all the various sexual partners (of course, I didn't let on).

Then she said, "well, you want to avoid HIV - the object isn't to keep getting tested until you get it - You're supposed to get to know your partner so that it is not a concern." I looked at her like she was on crack, and simply said that my lifestyle is very hectic due to work commitments which affords me little time to establish a long standing monogamous relationship.

The truth is, hobbying carries a certain amount of risk no matter what - the only other option is celibacy, which simply does not work! I was a bit perturbed that she seemed to be perhaps unintentionally imposing a value judgement on my activities. I am certainly not about to join a monastery by any stretch of the imagination! *lol*

Has anyone else encountered this form of subtle backlash against promiscuity by health care professionals when getting tested?? I was under the impression that they were to be completely non-judgemental.

 

[drlove]

While I didn't say I was a hobbyist, I did mention that I always use a condom (standard practice amongst sp's of course). The only exception being that I went bareback with my ex gf when we were dating - that's it.

Perhaps her main concern was simply the sheer number of sexual partners I have had, and with that an increased risk of having been exposed to something in terms of probability.

 

[naive_kitten]

I went to see a doctor recently for a check up. I told him that I was using condoms with a long term partner. He told me that now the medical community is almost certain that one can get HIV even while using condoms. He recommended that I i go for an HIV test, which I did. He also told me that i should either get my partner tested regularly or remain celibate, which is impossible for a number of reasons. what surprised me though, was how he tried to present celibacy as the only right and safe choice that one can make about abour his/hers sexuality. He also made it sound like it was an easy choice to make for anyone, which it isn't.

 

[drlove]

... now the medical community is almost certain that one can get HIV even while using condoms.

That's news to me.. where did he get that information??

...he tried to present celibacy as the only right and safe choice that one can make about abour his/hers sexuality...

You should have responded with "mental retardation hits every five seconds" - that would have shut him up!

 

[naive_kitten]

he he he. he said that now that think that the virus is so small that it can actually travel thru latex, but he didn't have the stats yet. so when i asked him what was the actual percentage , he couldn't tell me.

 

[BigBlack]

I was under the impression that they were to be completely non-judgemental.

Everyone is judgemental about some things. At least your doctor cares. Her point about knowing your partner is impossible. People lie, people cheat.

My doctor is older and lives and let lives. He isn't going to worry about each client. If he did (he told me), he'd go insane.

BBLACK

 

[naive_kitten]

i am absolutely right, my doctor is also pretty young and he does care about every patient at this point of his life.

 

[Keebler Elf]

Condoms have a failure rate too, so there's always the chance of getting HIV.

 

[naive_kitten]

when you say failure rate, are you talking about them breaking or just sperm getting out somehow ? what the doctor was telling me, is that one can get HIV when none of these things happen. sounds pretty scary to me.

 

[BigBlack]

Ahh, sweet paternalism.

She probably knows that HIV levels are no higher among sex workers than they are among the rest of the female populations, and that the former group tends to employ more stringent safety measures, so maybe that would have changed her perspective. Who knows?

Well I have been offered BBFS quite a few times. BBBJ all the time. Even a few mpa's have made the offer. As for girls outside the sex industry, barebacking is very common in relationships. Aids is evolving

My friend George (76 year old "godfather" of the gay community in Toronto), tells me that barebacking is making a big comeback. Not good. The success of Aids drugs in slowing things down have given some a false sense of security. There is also all the bs about reclaiming sexuality by going bareback and natural like things were intended.

BBLACK

 

[naive_kitten]

i never do bareback anything with anyone. but thanks so much for the information. as much as i would like to reclaim my sexuality by going bareback, i am just too scared to do it, i want to live to be 200 years old and probably go to mars when it becomes possible.

 

[drlove]

I agree... I am regretting going bb with my gf - I'm ok no std's or anything, but these days you can't be too careful - something COULD have happened.

 

[naive_kitten]

it's hard to trust anyone nowdays. people can look and act like they are head-over-heels in love with you and yet you might find out later that all this time they were cheating on you.

 

[gramage]

most doctors have major god complexes and will talk down to you if your doing anything that he hasn't given his approval. my mom's a nurse so I know this very well.

 

[Lil'Miss]

I think Doctors have a responsibility to give you the facts as they know them when told of sexual activity. If this is God Complex, then bring it on. I trust my doctor to know more than me.

Miss

 

[gramage]

I could be wrong Vanessa. might be my own experience, as well as the stories I've gotten from my mom and friends aren't the norm, but thats all I have to go on.

 

[Rearviewer]

when you say failure rate, are you talking about them breaking or just sperm getting out somehow ? what the doctor was telling me, is that one can get HIV when none of these things happen. sounds pretty scary to me.

Because this virus is small enough to theoretically permeate a condom, there is this theory that a condom might not stop HIV transmission. However this is just a theory and has never been actually observed (as far as I am aware). See here:
http://www.cdc.gov/hiv/pubs/faq/faq23.htm

 

[train]

he he he. he said that now that think that the virus is so small that it can actually travel thru latex, but he didn't have the stats yet. so when i asked him what was the actual percentage , he couldn't tell me.

Remember , 50% of the doctors graduated in the bottom half of their class .

 

[train]

[B I trust my doctor to know more than me.

Miss [/B]

Unless they specifically work in the treatment of aids I wouldn't take this as a given . I know a few women in the industry who are very knowledgeable , much more so than the average GP .

 

[train]

See here:
http://www.cdc.gov/hiv/pubs/faq/faq23.htm

If it was a study ( ie a controlled sample ) how come they don't know if it is 100% or 98% ?