Trying to change my own oil: big FAIL

stinkynuts

Super
Jan 4, 2005
8,013
2,427
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BMW AUDI PORSCHE MERCEDES. Over priced junk. After fucking you in the chops with the sticker price, they fuck you up the ass with repairs, maintenance and spare parts. The whole exercise is about paying 10 times the price for that warm feeling you get stuck in traffic.
Overpriced when new, and even overpriced when used and 1/5 its value. The amount of expensive repairs makes it a horrible deal. The BMW battery is $500, just as an example. Check engine light is always on.

Best cars to buy: Honda, Lexus, Toyota.

Worst: BMW, Mercedes, Cadillac, Porsche. Basically any luxury car not made in Japan.

I think there is a temptation to see a bargain for being able to drive a $60,000 luxury car for $12,000, but it's a trap. You end up wasting time and money, and having to deal with constant repairs. Not worth it.

The only reason I have my BMW still is to milk it for every last mile to get my money's worth. This means doing all mainteance on my own. However, it's backfired terrible. I could have paid $15 to have my wiper's replaced (labour) at Jiffy Lube, but it cost me $800 for a cracked windshield. Then another $800 for rims and oil change equipment. I am getting further and further into the hole because of this piece of shit car.
 

NotADcotor

His most imperial galactic atheistic majesty.
Mar 8, 2017
7,338
4,961
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The dream car

However the gear shifting is weird and it's 2 stroke/2 cylender engine needs the throttle on or it won't get oil [from the fuel] and it stops. Also the exhaust is brutal gross
If I had Lotta Max money [70 mill] I'd get one, replace the cage and other metal bits with stainless steel or an Aluminimumum Alloy so it won't rust [the panels are duroplast a resin cotton blend]
I'd replace the engine with an electric one, some guy in Bulgaria did that.
I'd also get a primo multi layer paint job with the colours of the German flag and the DDR flag logo on the door. Perhaps a Tabby cat painted on holding lightning elsewhere.
Nice up the inside with some Rolls level trim.

I'd then quit terb because, come on driving around with something like that, I can haz all the vagine, very nice.

Small car, perfect for city driving and parking, kinda cute in a retro way. All the faults fixed.

Or the Polish Fiat 126.


My long distance cruiser would be probably a 15 year old [which is legal to import] Toyota Century. All the quiet and most of the ride quality [or is it the other way around] of a Rolls, but with Yota reliability and a more understated elegant look than the brutalist look of the Rolls. Be worth having the wheel on the wrong side of the car.



 

Robert Mugabe

Well-known member
Nov 5, 2017
9,647
6,688
113
Overpriced when new, and even overpriced when used and 1/5 its value. The amount of expensive repairs makes it a horrible deal. The BMW battery is $500, just as an example. Check engine light is always on.

Best cars to buy: Honda, Lexus, Toyota.

Worst: BMW, Mercedes, Cadillac, Porsche. Basically any luxury car not made in Japan.

I think there is a temptation to see a bargain for being able to drive a $60,000 luxury car for $12,000, but it's a trap. You end up wasting time and money, and having to deal with constant repairs. Not worth it.

The only reason I have my BMW still is to milk it for every last mile to get my money's worth. This means doing all mainteance on my own. However, it's backfired terrible. I could have paid $15 to have my wiper's replaced (labour) at Jiffy Lube, but it cost me $800 for a cracked windshield. Then another $800 for rims and oil change equipment. I am getting further and further into the hole because of this piece of shit car.
The only reason I have my BMW still is to milk it for every last mile to get my money's worth.
As it turns out it is milking you for every last mile. lol.
Seemed to me, back in the 70's any Mercedes in Canada was always a rust bucket. Same as Volvo's actually. They used to use Mercedes for taxis in Europe. Maybe that's all changed.
The Japs seem to have all the answers on reliability. I drive an ancient Corolla. It just never goes wrong. Boring in a good way. And easy to do basic maintenance on.
I just read a Sonny Barger quote to the effect he regretted getting behind Harleys as the official Hells Angels bike. He said he wished he had gone with Japanese bikes of which there were several he preferred, but they got stuck with the Harley image being synonymous with bikers.
 
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NotADcotor

His most imperial galactic atheistic majesty.
Mar 8, 2017
7,338
4,961
113
I drive an ancient Corolla.
I went Corolla when the civic got totaled [wasn't in it]
I am how do you say, ah yes, old and with bad knees, wish it was a Corolla Cross but pretty good. Cars unless you are Oprah rich are and should be appliances.

I guess as Rhianna might say. I'm talking about my Corolla olla olla olla eh eh eh...
 

PeteOsborne

Kingston recon
Feb 12, 2020
2,141
1,951
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kingston
Everyone has a different mechanical skill level, based on the amount they have done or been trained to do.
My first oil change was on a 64 Chrysler Windsor, had a 360 in it.
My father told me I should learn to repair things on my own because you never know when you will break down.
He was a First Class Marine Engineer, registred millwright and a class A mechanic.
So by the time I was 6 years old he made sure I knew how to change the oil and grease a vehicle properly.
If the plug was tight, get a tube and put it over the ratchet handle and kick it to break it loose.
Changed the piston and rod in the lawnmower at 10.
Learned to rebuild carbs by myself by the time I was 16.
Started learning electronic engine controls at 21 and still learning.
Now I build high output engines in my spare time for fun and work on neighbors vehicles to help them out.
 
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PeteOsborne

Kingston recon
Feb 12, 2020
2,141
1,951
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kingston
I can't believe how freaking hard it was to get the wipers off my BMW. Took literally twenty minutes, they were extremely hard to remove. Let go of the wiper blade, and it slammed down on the windshield. Next time I was extremely careful, but at the last moment

Exactly. Every little thing is almost twice as expensive. An oil change requires synthetic, and costs me $120. My Bimmer had many oil leaks, costing me thousands. The alignment cannot be done at any mechanic, it requires a European car speciality shop. As welll as the rear differential fluid change.

I took my car to Speedy, and they said I need to replace my rear differential, at a cost of $5,000. I noticed that everywhere I take my car, they quote me outrageous prices (sometimes because they don't want to do the job). I've had Canadian Tire even refuse to look at my BMW, the manager told me to take it to a dealer. I was shocked. I know that BMWs are not only finicky, and very hard to work with, they also require special equipment.

I bought by BMW for $10,000 five years ago, and put in $15,000 in repairs and maintenance. I would have been better off buying a new BMW and selling it now. I would have paid the same amount.

Basically, my car is now worthless. The windshield is crack from me botching the wiper replacement. There is an oil leak, the car makes a loud noise since the rear differential is shot. The rear power windows are broken. The interior is stained because I put my tires on the bacseat without plastic. There is rust and body damage.

Worst of all is the reaction I get from people. People seem almost embarassed for me. They have almost a condescending attitude, since they think that I'm someone who's trying to look rich by driving a BMW, when if in fact I'm driving a piece of shit.

My logic at the time was that it was a great value. The car I have was, brand new, about $45-50,000 including taxes. I therefore bought it for the value aspect of it, more than anything. For example, I only buy used iPhones that are a few years old, since they offer the best value for the money. Little did I know that the car would literally have one problem after anohter, after another and cost me an arm and a leg.

I was fed up with all the maintenance, so decided to save some money. I bought rims for my winter tires, so I can change them myself. This saves $200 each year, since there are two swaps @ $100 each, every year. The oil change was next on the list. I invested hundreds of dollars ($400 for the rim, about $400 for the oil change equipment (rhino ramps, filter wrench, drain bucket, socket wrench, filter, oil). So far I have yet to recoup any investments I've made.

My last break job (front and rear) cost close to $2,000. I am planning to give it a shot. I've researched on YouTube, and honestly, it doesn't seem too bad.

By the way, I did get the drain plug removed. Some homeless kid was walking buy, and he was able to get it off in seconds. I gave him $25, an ice cream, and a ride. But now I can do oil changes on my own.
When you do your brakes please record it, might make some money sending it to Fail Army.
 
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The Mechanic

Active member
Jan 5, 2007
269
215
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Brake jobs are relatively easy if you know what you’re doing. I just got finished watching a video 1300 hp Mercury Comet person down the California streets, idiot all his money into the engine forgot to upgrade the brake system just Google it. No one got killed the passenger kissed the metal dash the driver shattered one or all elbows. And or stinkynuts doing his own brakes don’t worry, the guy in front of you has brakes I just hope it’s not me.
 
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