TOFTT - first time experience

[flynch]

After years of lurking, I decided to TOFTT. The arrangements were made, I arrived to a impeccably well kept house, very tidy and everything was convenient. Access to shower, clean towels, just about every detail considered.

The SP is a very nice person, good looking, intelligent and well spoken. I realized that she is talented at what she does. In the middle of the act I was wondering WTF am I doing. I cannot say that it was pleasant or unpleasant, it was just bland.

I compared what this highly skilled professional was doing to the sex I have had with regular girls and I much prefer regular girls. To me the reason is clear, there is no point in having sex with someone you don't have an emotional attachment to.

When I looked into her eyes, I could just tell that she was not seeing me. This is totally understandable, after all it is just her job. To me, this was like shaking hands - no big rush and nothing compared to sex with someone that you are emotionally attached to. I left thinking "what's the point?".

I am writing this with the intention of helping other lurkers. I have read all the stuff on terb over the years and my feeling is that it is all over-hyped. If you are a regular guy and can function fairly well in society then don't even bother with this crap - it is a waste of time. Also, you have to live with all the lies that you must tell to people that you care about.

I know that I will probably get flamed. I will read the comments over the next couple days then I am off the board.

Good Luck to you all

 

[fart]

Hahahahahahahahaaha...

 

[stevieray]

It`s funny, but that`s about the way I felt the first few times. What`s the point of this? But then I realized what this really is about. Why do we guys enjoy going to SCs? Or watch porn, mags, etc. Because it`s ENTERTAINMENT! Same goes with seeing an SP. I just consider it the ultimate, interactive porn. Nothing more, nothing less. I mean c`mon, SEX IS FUN! And you don`t have to worry about not being Valantino. Not very many of us are the worlds greatest lover, and so what? Who the cares? You`re paying her good money to give you a great time. Of course, some do that better than others! lol

When hobbing, you get to meet different types of gals you might not normally get to meet. Tall girls, short ones, different ethnic backgrounds, threesomes, etc. Get to try new things. Of course it will never replace a loving relationship! You just have to remember, that`s it`s just entertainment. Just my opinion....

 

[twizzler2]

I don't see why you'd get flammed, this board is about sharing experiences. I don't think this hobby is for everyone (customers and SPs alike).

Many of us seek GFE experiences for exactly the reasons you were disappointed with your encounter. Not everyone makes connections easily with other people and even SPs who are renouned for their GFE experience don't make a connection with everyone.

If you've been lurking for a while now, obviously something about the hobby interests you. If you've tried a few SPs and you have that same reaction to all them, then this hobby is probably not for you. If you've only had one experience and it wasn't good, you might want to consider trying somebody different.

Are you willing to share who you had the bad experience with ? Maybe others have had similar experiences and can point you in a different direction.

Whatever you decide, good luck.

 

[compactdisc]

Go to MPs instead. The feeling is totally different.

 

[Kubrickfan]

flynch --

Your comments are perfectly reasonable, and I have felt the same on occasion. There's an interesting thread on one of the other boards right now on the subject of "being held." In other words, is it: 1)all about the sex, or 2) is it entertainment (a fair point as well) or 3) something more with an emotional element?

I'm a relative newbie, and I'd like to see what some of the veteran posters (guys and ladies) have to say, but its all about what you are looking for, and if you are looking for 3), you will find it on occasion, especially with some of the more experienced ladies, but 3) is always the most dangerous because it often can lead to unrealistic expectations. If you are fortunate enough to become friends with a few of these wonderful ladies, consider yourself very lucky indeed. Dont ever expect more than that.

 

[JoyfulC]

It's a personal choice, to be sure. If you're free to engage in casual or more formal relations with "regular girls" then by all means, I think you should go that route.

But please consider that some may not have such freedom. For some guys, escorts are a solution to a problem that they couldn't really solve by running out and having relationships with "regular girls" for a number of reasons.

Is it the same? No, of course not. And all this "gfe" nonsense aside, no one pretends that it is. But that said, I've had relationships with customers that have endured for decades. We've gotten to know each other well -- perhaps not on a complete level, but at the very least very well on one level.

If you've found what's right for you, terrific! I think all here would wish you well. But your solution may not be for everyone.

..c..

 

[twizzler2]

And all this "gfe" nonsense aside

That's an interesting opinion. Are you refering to the list of acronymns which some people define gfe as or the entire notian of it ?

 

[blackram]

Don't look upon it as a loving relationship, just look upon it as a new and interesting experience. Of course in your opinion it's not as good as what you can get at home, then stay home. Some people like home-cooking, some like restaurants.

 

[PKJessica]

I think you have to look at this experience from the positive point of view. You learned something about yourself, and from this point on you will have a new appreciation for the ladies that you date and how much more gratifying it is to be with someone you care about.

It was probably something you needed to get out of your system, and you are better for it.

 

[rofobo]

The reason I have chosen strip bars or escorts is because I feel like I want change too often. I may feel like having a blonde one day and a brunette or oriental or black the next. May be I am not normal (since the great majority of men on planet get married and settle down with one) but I have admitted to myself and have accepted that is the way I am (happier). Also it is becoming increasingly difficult to attract (initially) young girls in the early or mid twenties which is the age I am most attracted to.

Now thats an interesting point. I have a friend who is married who steps out on his wife on a regular basis. It's not that he's not getting it at home, he is. It's just that he isn't happy with just one woman. So if you're that guy, why would you ever settle down? Why lie and cheat and deceive???? Hobby your life away. Be straight up about who and what you are. At least that way you have your integrity.

 

[teejayo]

I think you have to look at this experience from the positive point of view. You learned something about yourself, and from this point on you will have a new appreciation for the ladies that you date and how much more gratifying it is to be with someone you care about.

It was probably something you needed to get out of your system, and you are better for it.

I agree, PKJessica. Every sexual experience with a women teaches me something about myself, and also about women in general. I've had some fairly negative experiences, especially when I first started seeing sp's. But I learned how to 'read' ads, and I used reviews, and talked on the phone first if possible to someone right for me. Eventually, I got to the point where the majority of visits are now positive. I always take the time to break the ice and get comfortable with an sp, and get comfortable with me. I am always clear about what I am looking for, and I immediately find out her limitations. I take an interest in her, and have friendly conversation, as if she was my girl friend. I treat her with respect and try to make sure that she gets pleasure from the encounter, and cumm as well, if possible. I consider several of the sp's I've met as friends. Even if it is for money, there is still a certain intimacy that is shared pleasuring. Even if the connection is just for a short time, it is still meaningful.

Sex with a gf or spouse, especially where there is love or deep friendship, and sexual compatibility, is incomparable, especially when it is fairly new relationship. In my case my needs were not being met at home, and after a long while monogamy felt a lot more like celibacy. Rather than try to pressure my SO to change, I chose instead to discreetly 'outsource'. I'm so glad I did. I've done things and have had great sexual experiences with other women that would be impossible to do with my SO. I have become happier, more confident, and a better lover in the process. I have had a lot of fun, and the memories I've accumulated are priceless! I consciously try to use the energy I get from each encounter to enhance my primary relationship, and it works. I intend to keep on doing this as long as my supply of little blue pills (and yellow ones too) don't run out!

 

[rofobo]

Noop. I am not that guy that is I am not married. So as I mentioned in my article I don't lie and cheat(that is why I have chosen not to get married). But also I was totally straight up about who I am and what I want in my article.

All good for now but my close family and friends are telling me that I will be a lonely old guy one day if I live that long (without ever married and therefore not having kids).

Sorry, not saying you were, I was referring to my buddy's friend and men like that in general.

I respect people who make choices and are honest about them. If you can't live with just one woman, don't. Hobby or find someone who is into the swingers scene. Just don't be that stereo typical lying, cheating dog who brings nasty diseases home to an unsuspecting partner. Men like that I have no time for.

 

[skypilot]

So much drama about love, lying and cheating. Everybody is somewhat different and to each his own. There are always going to be people who think they know what is moral and waht is immoral about sex and then say what they are doing is moral and what you are doing is immoral.

My first time experience (and many after that too) was very off-putting. You have to figure out what you want out of the experience and it aint going to be love, affection or anything close.