Time for some French Bashing

[Mr. Downtown]

There was a Frenchman, an Englishman and Claudia Schiffer sitting together in a carriage in a train going through Provence.

Suddenly the train went through a tunnel and as it was an old style train, there were no lights in the carriages and it went completely dark. Then there was a kissing noise and the sound of a really loud slap. When the train came out of the tunnel, Claudia Schiffer and the Englishman were sitting as if nothing had happened and the Frenchman had his hand against his face as if he had been slapped there.

The Frenchman was thinking: 'The English fella must have kissed Claudia Schiffer and she missed him and slapped me instead.' Claudia Schiffer was thinking: 'The French fella must have tried to kiss me and actually kissed the Englishman and got slapped for it.' And the Englishman was thinking: 'This is great. The next time the train goes through a tunnel I'll make another kissing noise and slap that French bastard again.'

 

[bigdik]

ROTFLMFAO

 

[Snook.fr]

Mr Downtown.....

YOU BASTARD !!!

LOL.....

Frenchy

 

[Cinema Face]

Love it!!!!

Q: How many solders does it take to defend France?

A: Nobody knows. No one's ever tried.

 

[CyberGoth]

when the german classroom was moved at the school right beside the french classroom, the french surrendered without a fight and were later liberated by the english literature class after lunch.

they were reading fear and loathing in las vegas by HST


meanwhile the art students went dutch and painted the results.

In the InterZone[tm] the agent contracted a series of diseases which spelled out a secret password for the invitation to lunch.

 

[Mr. Downtown]

Looking at the front page of today's Globe & Mail with the picture of those f**king pompous bastards reminds me of the following sayings:

"You know, the French remind me a little bit of an aging actress of the 1940s who was still trying to dine out on her looks but doesn't have the face for it."

---John McCain, U.S. Senator from Arizona


"I don't know why people are surprised that France won't help us get Saddam out of Iraq. After all,
France wouldn't help us get the Germans out of France!"
---Jay Leno

 

[Cinema Face]

Letterman once said about the French

When they opened Euro-Disney in France. They let off the fireworks at night and people kept surrendering. LMAO

 

[mr. x]

this cliche about the french is pretty boring, just consider:

Napoleon, for one, who managed to conquer most of europe and nearly conquered russia too... of course, he was defeated in the end, as was hitler, but people don't make fun about the germans not being able to fight.

the first world war was extremely bloody - french troops fought and died just as the english, canadians, americans and russians did. the french were about as good as the british when it came to this war.

much of the humour about the french surrendering comes from the defeat of france by germany during ww2 - but wait, the british were also defeated in 1940, had britain not been an island, no doubt hitler would have invaded and crushed them as well. britiain was saved by geography, as well as the heroism of all the people who went over in little boats to help evacuate dunkirk.

since world war 2, the french made a mess of vietnam and were defeated there. but anyone who has read about the siege of dien bien phu has to admire the french soldiers who fought there. it was a mjor tactical blunder, but the french fought long and hard... which reminds me, the viet cong also defeated another country a few years later... but the name of that country escapes me, but i don't see that deafeat being held against that country!

ah, and then there was algeria, and the congo, and a few other places where the french were unable to hang on to their colonies. but much like the israeli troups trying to supress paestinians, or the british in ireland, or the russians in afganistan, it is hard for any country to hang onto another colony/territory where nationaists are willing to fight and die for independence.

and since vietman, lets see, the uS has taken on grenada, panama and iraq - in all cases is was hardly a fight against a military with anywhere near the same military might - its easy for a heavywieght to fight a welterweight and decalre his superiority and bravery!

if you put an average battalion of amercian soldiers in a fight against russians, chinese, british, french or canadians, and each side was given the same equipment, or equivalent equipment, do you think the americans would beat any or all of those other countries? man for man, i would bet on the russians or the chinese, unlike the softer americans (or canadians - were're pretty soft too).

so, lets please forget about this cliche about the french surrendering... its a bore.

 

[luckyjackson]

" its a bore."

Party pooper.

 

[Pistol Pete]

You're mistaken. He was born in Corsica.

 

[MuffinMuncher]

Cheese Eating Surrender Monkeys.... sorry, its still funny.

If you can label Americans as reckless aggressors and war-mongering imperialists, why is it wrong to label the French as spineless passifists? Both are stereotypes and nothing more.

 

[Mr. Downtown]

Actually, the French are not spineless passifists. Rather, they are spineless hypocrites. The only reason they are casting their veto is to protect the energy/construction contracts they have signed with that fucking dictator (not to mention also the Russians and the Germans). With Hussain gone, those contracts would be dead. Gee, isn't funny how these are the only major countries (excluding China) who are against action. Hmmmm.

 

[Cinema Face]

Mr X lighten up will ya

We’re just having a little fun poking some fun at the French. Goodness know the US has been bashed around on this board. I’m not knocking anyone’s right to free speech. It’s time to pass the heat around a little.

I personally have many French friends and acquaintances and I’ve rarely met a French person that I didn’t like. I have nothing bad to say about the French on an individual basis.

But since you’re trying to make it a serious discussion, all right, I’ll bite. The French as a nation are a bunch of snobs who think that the world’s sophistication and culture end at their border. They also have this delusion that they are a world power.

You mentioned a time when the French were at their zenith, during Napoleon’s time. And what did he do? He tried to conquer all of Europe. It took the British to kick their ass and they’ve been doing it ever since.

Up until WWII, the French were considered to the #1 army in the world. Conventional wisdom at the time said that Hitler will never get past the Maginot line. Hitler went around and crushed them. They folded in 6 weeks. You look at the major cities in Europe, they were destroyed by the Germans because they shelled them from a distance because the people put up a resistance. Paris was left largely intact because the German army basically marched into the city and took it over. The people didn’t put up any kind of resistance. During the occupation of France, most of the French became, “good little Nazis.” The biggest problem that the French underground had was their own people turning them in to the Germans. The French in Quebec were protesting Canada’s involvement in WWII because they don’t consider themselves British subjects and it’s not their responsibility to defeat Hitler. Never mind that their mother country, France, was occupied. It was a truly a time when all French should be ashamed.

There was a time when France was a country of influence and power. The English courts as well as many others spoke French because it was considered the international language of diplomacy. Today, French is spoken almost nowhere except France, Quebec and a few other shit holes like Angola and Haiti; real bastions of democracy, these places. France hasn’t won a war since Napoleon’s time.

Fast forward to today. France is a mere shadow of its former glory. It has a coalition government of the Ultra Nationalist and Communist parties. They ban America soap operas and Jerry Lewis movies in an effort to preserve their “culture” which is slipping away from them. In other countries such as Germany, when a British or American invention or concept comes along they use the English word for it. Slowly, English words are creeping into their own language. Not the French. They have a committee to invent “French” words to replace the English words in a pathetic attempt to preserve their language. Quebec’s “language police” are motivated by the same reasons, to preserve their language.

In France, they have 33% VAT (equivalent to our GST). The highest taxes in Europe. They have 30% of their work force working for the government. By comparison, Canada has 20%, England 18% and USA 12%. France has 50% of it’s entire population on some form of social assistance. They have a spiraling debt that’s out of control.

The French are the biggest bunch of snobs on the planet. Ask anyone who’s spent any time in Paris. Even to other French speaking people. They have an expression for Quebecois who visit. They call them, “little cousins” which I’m told is a condescending term.

The French are the only country still testing nukes. It makes them all proud. Look at us. We’re a world power. It makes them feel pretty powerful to blast a Greenpeace boat out of the water because they were having a peaceful demonstration against testing nukes.

In closing, I say, “if the shoe fits, wear it.”

 

[papasmerf]

this cliche about the french is pretty boring, just consider:



if you put an average battalion of amercian soldiers in a fight against russians, chinese, british, french or canadians, and each side was given the same equipment, or equivalent equipment, do you think the americans would beat any or all of those other countries? man for man, i would bet on the russians or the chinese, unlike the softer americans (or canadians - were're pretty soft too).

so, lets please forget about this cliche about the french surrendering... its a bore.

WOW thems fighting words
Mr. X,

You and me?????? House Rules?

 

[Snook.fr]

Re: Mr X lighten up will ya

I personally have many French friends and acquaintances and I’ve rarely met a French person that I didn’t like. I have nothing bad to say about the French.

Well Said....

To all the Others : You Fucking BASTARDS !!!!!! LOL

Seriously, Please think before you speak!!
Americans have to have the UN's majority or they should not attack.
I disagree with one thing : I do not want a bare majority of Americans (We all remember how fucking bush was elected) to decide of the faith of the world!!
There have to be rules in this world.
AND IF YOU LOOK AT THE STATISTICS : France used their VETO 18 times and USA 77 times !!!!

So don't bring up the Veto Horseshit.
Go to war and then do nt cry if another Terrorist act falls on the USA.

Just My opinion....WAR must be The LAST Resort !!
(and please this time do not use depleted uranium)

Frenchy

 

[papasmerf]

Re: Re: Mr X lighten up will ya

You Fucking BASTARDS !!!!!! LOL

Americans (We all remember how fucking bush was elected)

Frenchy

Ahhhh Come on frenchy....your biggotry is showing. Who's fault is it that the good people in the state of Florida can not punch a hole in a ballot?????????

The electorial College is the standing methiod of presidentual election. This system may not be perfect but it is the system in place. Do you consider yourself a Canadian Patriot???? If so why bash American Patriots????

 

[Snook.fr]

Re: Re: Re: Mr X lighten up will ya

Do you consider yourself a Canadian Patriot???? If so why bash American Patriots????

Eh....Actually I am Neither......I Am a true French Patriot (Born and Raised in Paris France).

I am not Bashing the Americans, I am just saying I am concerned if the USA go to war despite UN approval. I do not want the USA to decide of the Faith of the World.

FYI, I think the Veto is the Right Thing to do. USA used 35 vetoes to block resolutions criticizing Israel....WHY?

I am not against the Americans and Canadians......I REMEMBER......back in the days when USA and CANADA saved our Asses.....
But this has nothing to do with the problem at hand....IRAQ

Frenchy

 

[Snook.fr]

Re: HUH..?

Statements like this really baffle me. No offense to you Frenchy, it's a common sentiment around here. When folks say stuff like this

No Offense taken Vanessa.
I was in Paris when "they" Bombed our Subway...and then bombed some garbage bins in the "Champs Elysees" and I can tell you that it is not funny to live such a thing.
On the Other hand, I have to say you are right in the Fact that no matter what is done, Terrorists will strike anyhow.

Frenchy

 

[train]

Re: Re: Mr X lighten up will ya

Originally posted by Nic Frenchy [/i
I disagree with one thing : I do not want a bare majority of Americans (We all remember how fucking bush was elected) to decide of the faith of the world!!


Frenchy [/B]

Faith of the world ? Freudian slip ? lol.

Present company possibly excepted .....the French , if one is permitted one gross generalization , have to rank up there as one of the most annoying countries in the world . This last bit of self-serving morality is only the latest in a long line of nonsense from this them .

Maybe they are just pissed that Californian wine surpassed French wine about 10 yrs ago ( and the Aussies have pulled even ) .

 

[zog]

Oh Canada!

man for man, i would bet on the russians or the chinese, unlike the softer americans (or canadians - were're pretty soft too).

Actually, Canadian units routinely outperform other NATO units in equal strength/equal numbers exercises. Our boys are actually extremely well-trained and disciplined in comparison to many other country's military forces.

The problem with the Canadian military is that is under-funded and under-equipped. Nothing wrong with the personel or the training!

Zog.