Things I've learned from porn!!!!!!

[fatgeorge]

I haven't been able to head to D to see my ATF in far too long. I have to admit I've watched some porn to help take the edge off. (Please no snide comments about left hand). I was amazed at how little it's changed since the "Golden Age of Porn".

Things I've noticed that have held true for decades:

1) Every women express her pleasure by continually saying, "Oh... Yeah... Oh... Heah!!!"

2) Doing doggie is possible by entering by a 90 degree angle from the side (better for the cameras).

3) DFK is best done with a wide open mouth, tongue exposed. (Once again a 90 degree angle is preferred).

4) Oral, either daty or bbbj, is best performed from the side (once again a 90 degree angle. Is this a pattern?)

5) No matter how fat and ugly the guy is (think Ron Jeremy) he's still gorgeous to ladies when a camera is rolling. Note to self: bring a tripod for next session.

6) Men do not have any body hair. The exception is possibly a tuft of pube or mustache (see 6). But no hair on the chest or armpits.

7) A cheesy mustache gets the best looking girls.

8) Men much prefer to "finish" externally via their own hand rather than "within" the gal.

9) Once a man has withdrawn (from whatever orafice) to finish, it is instinctive for a woman to drop to her knees, face the man, push up her tits and beg for a facial.

10) A man cannot orgasm without saying, "Ahhhhhhhh!!!" All male orgasms last at least thirty seconds to a minute and finish with three long breaths.

 

[reaper29]

I haven't been able to head to D to see my ATF in far too long. I have to admit I've watched some porn to help take the edge off. (Please no snide comments about left hand). I was amazed at how little it's changed since the "Golden Age of Porn".

Things I've noticed that have held true for decades:

1) Every women express her pleasure by continually saying, "Oh... Yeah... Oh... Heah!!!"

2) Doing doggie is possible by entering by a 90 degree angle from the side (better for the cameras).

3) DFK is best done with a wide open mouth, tongue exposed. (Once again a 90 degree angle is preferred).

4) Oral, either daty or bbbj, is best performed from the side (once again a 90 degree angle. Is this a pattern?)

5) No matter how fat and ugly the guy is (think Ron Jeremy) he's still gorgeous to ladies when a camera is rolling. Note to self: bring a tripod for next session.

6) Men do not have any body hair. The exception is possibly a tuft of pube or mustache (see 6). But no hair on the chest or armpits.

7) A cheesy mustache gets the best looking girls.

8) Men much prefer to "finish" externally via their own hand rather than "within" the gal.

9) Once a man has withdrawn (from whatever orafice) to finish, it is instinctive for a woman to drop to her knees, face the man, push up her tits and beg for a facial.

10) A man cannot orgasm without saying, "Ahhhhhhhh!!!" All male orgasms last at least thirty seconds to a minute and finish with three long breaths.

That's some funny shit!

 

[Molly Robinson]

It's always best to keep Your socks on...it's so sexy!

 

[Amused]

In addition from my observations:
11) Girls will gaze lovingly at you if you remove you wang from the orifice that it is about to blow in and shoot it into her eyes instead.
12) Pizza delivery guys who carry no change have better sex lives than those that do.
13) All high school cheerleaders have tramp stamps.

 

[yippie]

13) All high school cheerleaders have tramp stamps.

And are at least 25 years old.

 

[27LeafFan]

14) Geeez my penis is small, FUCK!

 

[Cycleguy007]

That most men can fuck for extended periods of time but just can't cum until they pull out a jack themselves off!

 

[hinz]

15) The bulk of the ladies have out of proportion boob jobs. Many of them enjoy DP or something like Houston 500!!!
16) The ladies love to smoke cigarettes and cocks simultaneously.
17) The ladies are cool to Greek....
18) The ladies always have orgasm by either having the dude eating her or pleasuring herself, something it never happen on demand to your SP/MPA/any civilian women like order PPV for example.

 

[Eraser Head]

I learned that sexual oppression leads to porn which is an additive and dehumanizing way to learn about sex !

Anyone agree ?

 

[reaper29]

19) Ladies like it when you slap your cock across their face or other body parts.
20) Ladies will always beg for your penis
21) Men never wear underwear under their pants
22) If a woman walks in on a man who is nude and is pleasuring himself, they will never be disgusted and will always be turned on and want rough sex immediately.

 

[great bear]

The sets they use are always expensive.

 

[hinz]

The sets they use are always expensive.

Or the "sets" are just happen to be McMansions in California available for the porn producers to rent.

This is highly possible since many so-called "wealthy" Americans are over-leveraged before Lehman collapse and suffering acute cash crunch as a consequence.

By providing their "castles" to porn flicks productions for fees, they could still afford to pay by now underwater mortgages, instead of having their homes in foreclosure.

 

[caseyx]

Or the "sets" are just happen to be McMansions in California available for the porn producers to rent.

This is highly possible since many so-called "wealthy" Americans are over-leveraged before Lehman collapse and suffering acute cash crunch as a consequence.

By providing their "castles" to porn flicks productions for fees, they could still afford to pay by now underwater mortgages, instead of having their homes in foreclosure.

Until pretty recently there weren't all that many home owners willing to rent to the adult industry. There's at least one that I've seen in several dozen movies. Or to put it in terms of this thread:
- Hot sex with beautiful women usually occurs in one particular house in the LA hills.

But I've read recently that there's been a surge in houses available to the industry, for exactly the reason that hinz cites.

 

[hinz]

But I've read recently that there's been a surge in houses available to the industry, for exactly the reason that hinz cites.

Maybe Lenny Dykstra would keep his house from foreclosure if he's willing to rent to the porn industries to pay down his 10 figures debt...

Too bad he's so f*cked up to consider the alternative.

 

[Daddio]

Once a man has withdrawn (from whatever orafice) to finish, it is instinctive for a woman to drop to her knees, face the man, push up her tits and beg for a facial.

Well yes of course, this is well known fact and it's only natural.

It's always best to keep Your socks on...it's so sexy!

Is it true that women usually prefer men in white socks with dirty soles?

 

[Ladyraven]

oh I say yes to all of the above .. I love it all... well I always keep my school girl socks on . and women always walk around in 6 inch high heels and never take em off for sex.. Its true

 

[blackrock13]

Clocks on the wall always tell the wrong time.

 

[inforeg]

bamp

 

[pjoe43]

All women have multiple orgasms.

 

[lovelatinas]

They did not do creampies (anal or vaginal) back in the 70's or 80s did they?