The Worst Tip Ever...

bolt.upright

Rico Suave
Oct 3, 2013
2,158
5
0
So close and yet so far.
I made an appointment yesterday for my regular, weekly visit to my ATF SP. She was running errands and the earliest she could see me was noon. I like morning visits, but noon is fine, so I used the morning to run some errands of my own. One of these was a visit to No Frills to pick up a few groceries. I had to put a looney in the cart to release it and, when I was done I dropped the looney back into my pocket. The same pocket that had the envelope containing five twenty dollar bills for my SP.

Later, at my appointment I dropped the envelope on her night table before the fun began. The envelope made an unusual clinky sound as I dropped it. Hmm, that was different, I thought. I picked up the envelope and looked inside, but I just saw the folding money, so I dropped it again. Same clink. Stupid plastic money, I thought, then paid no more attention to it and continued with the session.

It was wonderful, fantastic, incredible, insert any positive word you want here. Yesterday marked my twentieth visit with her since I first met this incredible woman, not coincidentally, twenty weeks ago. When we were done I kissed her goodbye (multiple times) and went on with my day. I won't mention her name here, as this is not really a review. Let's just say that she's a very well regarded lady (for good reason) here in Durham.

On my way home I passed by a Burger King, who are still offering their new 25 cent coffee, and I pulled into the drive-thru lane. I ordered my coffee and reached into my pocket to get the looney. Which, as you've guessed, was no longer there. It took me a little longer than it took you to put two and two together. I realized, of course, that the looney must have found its way into my SP's envelope. Dang.

Not that I mind giving her an extra dollar. She's certainly worth it, and then some. I just hoped that she didn't think it was some kind of insult. You know, like leaving a penny to a waitress who gave you bad service?

I'm not really a tipper for sexual services. I mean, I've brought her the odd cup of coffee, I picked up a box of condoms one time when she had just run out. No problem, I'm glad to do it. But giving her an extra twenty every week would be a bit of a stretch for me. Her price is her price, and I'm happy to pay it. I mean, if she put her price up to $120 I would still manage to find it, I'm sure. It's not that I can't afford this hobby, it's more an issue of how much cash can I get away with before my wife notices that something is up. All our accounts are joint, and she hasn't noticed anything yet, but I don't want to risk it.

Okay, I couldn't stand it, and I texted the SP in the evening with the story. She LOL'd, and said she wondered what she did to deserve the extra dollar. I told her (jokingly of course) that next week she only gets $99. So, all's well that ends well.

I just gotta wonder what she was thinking when she first found the extra dollar though...
 
She thought maybe you are a secret son or brother of Alan Harper or George Costanza. :)
 
I'm quite sure she'd think it's exactly how it happened, change in the same pocket made its way to the envelope.

No big deal. Your gesture of texting her back was actually very considerate and gentleman-ly.
 
Hmmmm any NoFirlls ive been to in durham only takes quarters for their carts. Not loonies. Just an observation. ;)
 
I'm quite sure she'd think it's exactly how it happened, change in the same pocket made its way to the envelope.

No big deal. Your gesture of texting her back was actually very considerate and gentleman-ly.

Yes, I'm pretty sure that's exactly what she would think--she's a very nice person, and I'm sure she knows I think quite highly of her. It was more a case of me obsessing over a potential insult. And thank you for calling me a gentleman.
 
She's your ATF and you see her every week, but never tip her for consistently meeting your expectations, not even occasionally? I understand the need for spousal discretion and all, but after 20 weeks!....nothing? That I simply don't get, but to each his own I s'pose.
 
Speaking of tipping, I saw on CTV NEWS last night that there is a new restaurant opening in B.C that prohibits tipping. Apparently, there are also a few "no tipping" restaurants in the U.s. as well. "The price is the price. No tipping!"
 
She's your ATF and you see her every week, but never tip her for consistently meeting your expectations, not even occasionally? I understand the need for spousal discretion and all, but after 20 weeks!....nothing? That I simply don't get, but to each his own I s'pose.
True. You're probably right, and maybe I should see a different girl every week since I'm so cheap. Still, I figure a nice, weekly customer that she seems to enjoy too is worth forgoing a tip. I'm not arguing her price, after all. I just would have a hard time paying extra on a consistent basis.
 
Speaking of tipping, I saw on CTV NEWS last night that there is a new restaurant opening in B.C that prohibits tipping. Apparently, there are also a few "no tipping" restaurants in the U.s. as well. "The price is the price. No tipping!"

Isn't that just, like, McDonalds?
 
True. You're probably right, and maybe I should see a different girl every week since I'm so cheap. Still, I figure a nice, weekly customer that she seems to enjoy too is worth forgoing a tip. I'm not arguing her price, after all. I just would have a hard time paying extra on a consistent basis.

Definitely not calling you cheap..I apologize if it came across that way. I just figured that it might get awkward after such a long engagement run. I'd feel weird eating breakfast at the same greasy spoon every morning, being served by the same waitress, getting awesome service, but never leaving a tip to show my appreciation for her efforts in some way. But again, I'm very old school I suppose...to each his own. If it ain't broke, don't fix it.
 
Definitely not calling you cheap..I apologize if it came across that way. I just figured that it might get awkward after such a long engagement run. I'd feel weird eating breakfast at the same greasy spoon every morning, being served by the same waitress, getting awesome service, but never leaving a tip to show my appreciation for her efforts in some way. But again, I'm very old school I suppose...to each his own. If it ain't broke, don't fix it.

Well, it wasn't awkward before but now that you mention it... Shit.
 
She's your ATF and you see her every week, but never tip her for consistently meeting your expectations, not even occasionally? I understand the need for spousal discretion and all, but after 20 weeks!....nothing? That I simply don't get, but to each his own I s'pose.

I've always thought that the best tip one in the service industry (MPA, SP, etc) can get is a repeat customer. I don't tip either, however for the one regular girl I see, I do get her the occasional gift.

Cheers
 
Pay her in Loonies next week.

That might get her talking quite a bit and maybe she might let slip what she was thinking when she saw that @!!#$% Loonie.Lol

If you don't get your answer, keep lowering the denomination until you get to Nickels.

If after nickles, she still doesn't budge, just say:

That first Loonie I left you amongst the $20 dollar bills doesn't seem too bad now, does it?Lol
 
Speaking of tipping, I saw on CTV NEWS last night that there is a new restaurant opening in B.C that prohibits tipping. Apparently, there are also a few "no tipping" restaurants in the U.s. as well. "The price is the price. No tipping!"

We need more of those! Tipping loses its meaning as soon as it becomes expected. Tipping should be for exceptional service only.
 
Definitely not calling you cheap..I apologize if it came across that way. I just figured that it might get awkward after such a long engagement run. I'd feel weird eating breakfast at the same greasy spoon every morning, being served by the same waitress, getting awesome service, but never leaving a tip to show my appreciation for her efforts in some way. But again, I'm very old school I suppose...to each his own. If it ain't broke, don't fix it.

I think a lot of us have mentally compartmentalized the hobby as a "no tipping" style service. Speaking personally, I always felt that the impulse behind tipping was not only to acknowledge good service, but to compensate for the fact that the person you are tipping (or more precisely, the wages they receive) is undervalued for that service. Since SPs set their own rates, I don't see this problem entering the equation. Then again, maybe I'm just trying to rationalise being a cheap bastard. Mind you, like bolt.upright, I never quibble or haggle, and happily pay what is asked. But lack of discretionary income and a nosy wife are both a bitch, no pun intended (but I'll take it!), so I can't afford to tip even if I were inclined to do so.