The official joke thread
- Thread starter Gilbey
- Start date
My come back
#10. You can trade an old 44 for a new 22. How about a 35?
# 9. You can keep one gun at home and have another for when you're on the road.
Sure you can I don't mind if you leave your S/O at home.
# 8. If you admire a friend's gun and tell him so, he will probably let you try it out a few times.
Can I play with your friends gun too?
# 7. Your primary gun doesn't mind if you keep another gun for a backup.
I'll be your backup. I'll also back right up to you.
# 6. Your gun will stay with you even if you run out of ammo.
I don't care about the ammo. I only care it is stiff enough to get in the backdoor.
# 5. A gun doesn't take up a lot of closet space.
Closet hmmm, could be kinky.
# 4. Guns function normally every day of the month.
Oh no need complaining about my rag, back door still works.
# 3. A gun doesn't ask , "Do these new grips make me look fat?"
Grips? I love a firm grip. Yeeeee hawwwww
# 2. A gun doesn't mind if you go to sleep after you use it.
What you going home to bed after you fuck me? lol
And the number one reason a gun is favored over a woman....
# 1. YOU CAN BUY A SILENCER FOR A GUN
I own a gag. Not good enough?
#10. You can trade an old 44 for a new 22. How about a 35?
# 9. You can keep one gun at home and have another for when you're on the road.
Sure you can I don't mind if you leave your S/O at home.
# 8. If you admire a friend's gun and tell him so, he will probably let you try it out a few times.
Can I play with your friends gun too?
# 7. Your primary gun doesn't mind if you keep another gun for a backup.
I'll be your backup. I'll also back right up to you.
# 6. Your gun will stay with you even if you run out of ammo.
I don't care about the ammo. I only care it is stiff enough to get in the backdoor.
# 5. A gun doesn't take up a lot of closet space.
Closet hmmm, could be kinky.
# 4. Guns function normally every day of the month.
Oh no need complaining about my rag, back door still works.
# 3. A gun doesn't ask , "Do these new grips make me look fat?"
Grips? I love a firm grip. Yeeeee hawwwww
# 2. A gun doesn't mind if you go to sleep after you use it.
What you going home to bed after you fuck me? lol
And the number one reason a gun is favored over a woman....
# 1. YOU CAN BUY A SILENCER FOR A GUN
I own a gag. Not good enough?
A blonde walks into a pharmacy and asks the pharmacist for a bottom deodorant. Sorry, we dont sell bottom deodorant the pharmacist replies, struggling to keep from laughing.
But I always buy it here, the blonde says. I bought one last month. Thinking quickly, the pharmacist suggests, I dont know what you bought before, may be you can bring in the empty container next time. Sure, the blonde replies. Ill bring it with me tomorrow
The next day, the blonde walks into the shop again and hands the pharmacist an almost empty deodorant stick. This is just a normal deodorant, the pharmacist tells the blonde, You use it under your arms.
No, it is not, the blonde answers, it says so here: To apply, push up bottom.
But I always buy it here, the blonde says. I bought one last month. Thinking quickly, the pharmacist suggests, I dont know what you bought before, may be you can bring in the empty container next time. Sure, the blonde replies. Ill bring it with me tomorrow
The next day, the blonde walks into the shop again and hands the pharmacist an almost empty deodorant stick. This is just a normal deodorant, the pharmacist tells the blonde, You use it under your arms.
No, it is not, the blonde answers, it says so here: To apply, push up bottom.
Three men who were lost in the forest were captured by
cannibals. The cannibal king told the prisoners that they could
live if they pass a trial. The first step of the trial was to go
to the forest and get ten pieces of the same kind of fruit. So
all three men went separate ways to gather fruits.
The first one came back and said to the king, I brought ten
apples. The king then explained the trial to him. You have to
shove the fruits up your butt without any expression on your
face or youll be eaten.
The first apple went in... but on the second one he winced out
in pain, so he was killed.
The second one arrived and showed the king ten berries. When the
king explained the trial to him he thought to himself that this
should be easy. 1...2...3...4...5...6...7...8... and on the
ninth berry he burst out in laughter and was killed.
The first guy and the second guy met in heaven. The first one
asked, Why did you laugh, you almost got away with it? The
second one replied, I couldnt help it, I saw the third guy
coming with pineapples.
cannibals. The cannibal king told the prisoners that they could
live if they pass a trial. The first step of the trial was to go
to the forest and get ten pieces of the same kind of fruit. So
all three men went separate ways to gather fruits.
The first one came back and said to the king, I brought ten
apples. The king then explained the trial to him. You have to
shove the fruits up your butt without any expression on your
face or youll be eaten.
The first apple went in... but on the second one he winced out
in pain, so he was killed.
The second one arrived and showed the king ten berries. When the
king explained the trial to him he thought to himself that this
should be easy. 1...2...3...4...5...6...7...8... and on the
ninth berry he burst out in laughter and was killed.
The first guy and the second guy met in heaven. The first one
asked, Why did you laugh, you almost got away with it? The
second one replied, I couldnt help it, I saw the third guy
coming with pineapples.
Finding one of her students making faces at others on the playground, Ms.
Smith stopped to gently reprove the child.
Smiling sweetly, the Sunday School teacher said, Johnny, when I was a
child, I was told if that I made ugly faces, it would freeze and I would
stay like that.
Johnny looked up and replied, Well, Ms. Smith, you cant say you werent
warned.
Smith stopped to gently reprove the child.
Smiling sweetly, the Sunday School teacher said, Johnny, when I was a
child, I was told if that I made ugly faces, it would freeze and I would
stay like that.
Johnny looked up and replied, Well, Ms. Smith, you cant say you werent
warned.
A girl asks her boyfriend to come over Friday night and have
dinner with her parents. Since this is such a big event, the
girl announces to her boyfriend that after dinner, she would
like to go out and make love for the first time.
Well, the boy is ecstatic, but he has never had sex before, so
he takes a trip to the pharmacist to get some condoms. The
pharmacist helps the boy for about an hour. He tells the boy
everything there is to know about condoms and sex.
At the register, the pharmacist asks the boy how many condoms
hed like to buy, a 3-pack, 10-pack, or family pack. The boy
insists on the family pack because he thinks he will be rather
busy, it being his first time and all.
That night, the boy shows up at the girls parents house and
meets his girlfriend at the door. Oh, Im so excited for you to
meet my parents, come on in
The boy goes inside and is taken to the dinner table where the
girls parents are seated. The boy quickly offers to say grace
and bows his head.
A minute passes, and the boy is still deep in prayer, with his
head down.
10 minutes pass, and still no movement from the boy.
Finally, after 20 minutes with his head down, the girlfriend
leans over and whispers to the boyfriend, I had no idea you
were this religious.
The boy turns, and whispers back, I had no idea your father was
a pharmacist.
dinner with her parents. Since this is such a big event, the
girl announces to her boyfriend that after dinner, she would
like to go out and make love for the first time.
Well, the boy is ecstatic, but he has never had sex before, so
he takes a trip to the pharmacist to get some condoms. The
pharmacist helps the boy for about an hour. He tells the boy
everything there is to know about condoms and sex.
At the register, the pharmacist asks the boy how many condoms
hed like to buy, a 3-pack, 10-pack, or family pack. The boy
insists on the family pack because he thinks he will be rather
busy, it being his first time and all.
That night, the boy shows up at the girls parents house and
meets his girlfriend at the door. Oh, Im so excited for you to
meet my parents, come on in
The boy goes inside and is taken to the dinner table where the
girls parents are seated. The boy quickly offers to say grace
and bows his head.
A minute passes, and the boy is still deep in prayer, with his
head down.
10 minutes pass, and still no movement from the boy.
Finally, after 20 minutes with his head down, the girlfriend
leans over and whispers to the boyfriend, I had no idea you
were this religious.
The boy turns, and whispers back, I had no idea your father was
a pharmacist.
B
biancataylor
A lady stopped unexpectedly by her recently married son's house. She rang
the doorbell and stepped into the house to see her daughter-in-law standing
naked by the door.
"What are you doing?" she asked.
"I am waiting for my husband to come home from work," the daughter-in-law
replied.
"Why are you naked?" asked the mother-in-law.
"This is my love dress," the daughter-in-law replied.
"LOVE DRESS! You're naked," said the mother-in-law.
"But my husband loves it when I wear this dress. It makes him happy and he
makes me happy," said the daughter-in-law. "He will be home any minute now,
so perhaps you could stop by a little later?"
Soured by all of this romantic stuff, the mother-in-law left. On the way
home she thought about the "LOVE DRESS" and got an idea.
She undressed, showered, applied her best perfume, and waited by the door
for her husband to come home.
Finally, his pickup truck drove up the driveway.
Her husband opened the door, and immediately saw his naked wife.
"What are you doing?" he asked.
"This is my love dress," she said, excitedly.
"Needs ironing." he replied.
the doorbell and stepped into the house to see her daughter-in-law standing
naked by the door.
"What are you doing?" she asked.
"I am waiting for my husband to come home from work," the daughter-in-law
replied.
"Why are you naked?" asked the mother-in-law.
"This is my love dress," the daughter-in-law replied.
"LOVE DRESS! You're naked," said the mother-in-law.
"But my husband loves it when I wear this dress. It makes him happy and he
makes me happy," said the daughter-in-law. "He will be home any minute now,
so perhaps you could stop by a little later?"
Soured by all of this romantic stuff, the mother-in-law left. On the way
home she thought about the "LOVE DRESS" and got an idea.
She undressed, showered, applied her best perfume, and waited by the door
for her husband to come home.
Finally, his pickup truck drove up the driveway.
Her husband opened the door, and immediately saw his naked wife.
"What are you doing?" he asked.
"This is my love dress," she said, excitedly.
"Needs ironing." he replied.
B
biancataylor
the good the bad and the ugly
Good: Your daughter got a new job
Bad: She's a hooker
Ugly: Your coworkers are her best clients
Way Ugly: She makes more money than you do
Good: Your son is dating someone new
Bad: It's another man
Ugly: He's your best friend
Good: Your son is finally maturing
Bad: He's involved with the woman next door
Ugly: So are you
The Good, the Bad and the Ugly.
Good: Your wife is pregnant.
Bad: It's triplets
Ugly: You had a vasectomy five years ago
Good: Your husband understands fashion.
Bad: He's a cross-dresser.
Ugly: He looks better than you.
Good: Your daughter got a new job
Bad: She's a hooker
Ugly: Your coworkers are her best clients
Way Ugly: She makes more money than you do
Good: Your son is dating someone new
Bad: It's another man
Ugly: He's your best friend
Good: Your son is finally maturing
Bad: He's involved with the woman next door
Ugly: So are you
The Good, the Bad and the Ugly.
Good: Your wife is pregnant.
Bad: It's triplets
Ugly: You had a vasectomy five years ago
Good: Your husband understands fashion.
Bad: He's a cross-dresser.
Ugly: He looks better than you.
B
biancataylor
There were these twins, Jim and John. Jim was the owner of an old
dilapidated boat. It just so happened that John's wife died the same
day Jim's boat sank.
A few days later, a kindly old woman saw Jim and mistaking him for
John said "I'm sorry to hear about your loss. You must feel terrible."
Jim, thinking she was talking about his boat said "Fact is I'm sort
of glad to be rid of her. She was a rotten old thing from the
beginning. Her bottoms was all shriveled up and she smelled like an
old dead fish. She was always losing her water, she had a bad crack
in the back and a pretty big hole in the front too. Every time I
used her, the hole got bigger and she leaked like crazy. I guess
what finally finished her off was when I rented her to these four
guys looking for a good time. I warned them she wasn't very good,
but they wanted to use her anyhow. The fools all tried to get in her
at once and she split right up the middle"
The old woman fainted.
dilapidated boat. It just so happened that John's wife died the same
day Jim's boat sank.
A few days later, a kindly old woman saw Jim and mistaking him for
John said "I'm sorry to hear about your loss. You must feel terrible."
Jim, thinking she was talking about his boat said "Fact is I'm sort
of glad to be rid of her. She was a rotten old thing from the
beginning. Her bottoms was all shriveled up and she smelled like an
old dead fish. She was always losing her water, she had a bad crack
in the back and a pretty big hole in the front too. Every time I
used her, the hole got bigger and she leaked like crazy. I guess
what finally finished her off was when I rented her to these four
guys looking for a good time. I warned them she wasn't very good,
but they wanted to use her anyhow. The fools all tried to get in her
at once and she split right up the middle"
The old woman fainted.
A married couple are driving along a highway doing 60mph, the wife behind the wheel. Her husband suddenly looks over at her and says, Honey, I know weve been married for 20 years, but I want a divorce.
The wife says nothing but slowly increases speed to 70 mph.
He then says, I dont want you to try to talk me out of it, because Ive been having an affair with your best friend, and shes a better lover than you are.
Again the wife stays quiet but speeds up as her anger increases.
I want the house, he insists, pressing his luck. Again the wife speeds up, to eighty mph.
He says, I want the car, too, but she just drives faster and faster.
By now shes up to ninety mph. All right, he says, I want the bank accounts, and all the credit cards, too.
The wife slowly starts to veer toward a bridge.
This makes him a bit nervous, so he says, Isnt there anything you want?
The wife says, No, Ive got everything I need.
Oh, really, he says, so what have you got?
Right before they slam into the wall at a 100 mph, the wife smiles and says, The airbag.
The wife says nothing but slowly increases speed to 70 mph.
He then says, I dont want you to try to talk me out of it, because Ive been having an affair with your best friend, and shes a better lover than you are.
Again the wife stays quiet but speeds up as her anger increases.
I want the house, he insists, pressing his luck. Again the wife speeds up, to eighty mph.
He says, I want the car, too, but she just drives faster and faster.
By now shes up to ninety mph. All right, he says, I want the bank accounts, and all the credit cards, too.
The wife slowly starts to veer toward a bridge.
This makes him a bit nervous, so he says, Isnt there anything you want?
The wife says, No, Ive got everything I need.
Oh, really, he says, so what have you got?
Right before they slam into the wall at a 100 mph, the wife smiles and says, The airbag.
There was a blonde driving down the road one day. She glanced to her right and noticed another blonde sitting in a nearby field. She was in a boat rowing, with no water in sight. The blonde angrily pulled her car over and yelled at the rowing blonde, "What do you think youre doing? Its things like this that give us blondes a bad name. If I could swim, Id come out there and kick your butt"
A mathematician, a philosopher, and a blonde all go to Hell and receive a challenge from the Devil -- if they can stump him, theyre free to go to heaven instead. The philosopher goes first and asks the Devil a very hard philosophy question -- to which the Devil snaps his fingers, gets a book, and gives the answer. The mathematician tries as well -- but the Devil instantly gets the answer. When it comes to the blonde, she pulls up a chair and drills three holes in it. She then sits down in the chair and farts. Now, she says, which hole did the fart come out of? Thats easy, says the Devil. All of them. No, stupid It came out of my butthole
A man calls home to his wife and says, Honey I have been asked to go fishing at a big lake up in Canada with my boss and several of his friends. Well be gone for a week. This is a good opportunity for me to get that promotion Ive wanted so would you please pack me enough clothes for a week and set out my rod and tackle box. Were leaving from the office and I will swing by the house to pick my things up. Oh Please pack my new blue silk pajamas. The wife thinks this sounds a little fishy but being a good wife she does exactly what her husband asked. The following weekend he comes home a little tired but otherwise looking good. The wife welcomes him home and asks if he caught many fish? He says, Yes Lots of Walleye, some Bluegill, and a few Pike. But why didnt you pack my new blue silk pajamas like I asked you to do? The wife replies I did, they were in your tackle box.
A family is at the dinner table. The son asks his father, "Dad, how many?kinds of boobs are there?
The father, surprised, answers, "Well, son, there are three kinds of boobs.?In her 20s, a woman's breasts are like melons, round and firm. In her 30s?to 40s, they are like pears, still nice but hanging a bit. After 50, they?are like onions".?
Onions?"?
Yes, you see them and they make you cry."?
This infuriated his wife and daughter so the daughter said, "Mum, how many kinds of dicks are there?"?
The mother, surprised, smiles and answers, "Well dear, a man goes through three phases. In his 20s, his willy is like an oak tree, mighty and hard. In his 30s and 40s, it is like a birch, flexible but reliable. After his 50s, it is like a Christmas tree".?
"A Christmas tree?"?
"Yes, dead from the root up and the balls are just for decoration."
The father, surprised, answers, "Well, son, there are three kinds of boobs.?In her 20s, a woman's breasts are like melons, round and firm. In her 30s?to 40s, they are like pears, still nice but hanging a bit. After 50, they?are like onions".?
Onions?"?
Yes, you see them and they make you cry."?
This infuriated his wife and daughter so the daughter said, "Mum, how many kinds of dicks are there?"?
The mother, surprised, smiles and answers, "Well dear, a man goes through three phases. In his 20s, his willy is like an oak tree, mighty and hard. In his 30s and 40s, it is like a birch, flexible but reliable. After his 50s, it is like a Christmas tree".?
"A Christmas tree?"?
"Yes, dead from the root up and the balls are just for decoration."
One night, a drunk comes stumbling into a bar and says to the bartender: Drinks for all on me including you, bartender. So the bartender follows the mans orders and says: That will be $36.50 please. The drunk says he has no money so the bartender slaps him around and throws him out.
The next night the same drunk comes in again and orders a drink for everyone in the bar including the bartender. Again the bartender follows instructions and again the drunk says he has no money. So the bartender slaps him around and throws him out.
On the third night he comes in, the drunk orders drinks for all except the bartender. What, no drink for me? replies the bartender. Oh, no. You get violent when you drink.
The next night the same drunk comes in again and orders a drink for everyone in the bar including the bartender. Again the bartender follows instructions and again the drunk says he has no money. So the bartender slaps him around and throws him out.
On the third night he comes in, the drunk orders drinks for all except the bartender. What, no drink for me? replies the bartender. Oh, no. You get violent when you drink.
Bob joins a very exclusive nudist colony. On his first day he takes off his clothes and starts wandering around. A gorgeous petite blonde walks by him and the man immediately gets an erection.
The woman notices his erection, comes over to him grinning sweetly and says: Sir, did you call for me? Bob replies: No, what do you mean? She says: You must be new here; let me explain. Its a rule here that if I give you an erection, it implies you called for me. Smiling, she then leads him to the side of a pool, lays down on a towel, eagerly pulls him to her and happily lets him have his way with her.
Bob continues exploring the facilities. He enters a sauna, sits down, and farts. Within a few seconds a huge, horribly corpulent, hairy man with a firm erection lumbers out of the steam towards him. The Huge Man says: Sir, did you call for me? Bob replies: No, what do you mean? The Huge Man: You must be new here; it is a rule that when you fart, it implies you called for me. The huge man then easily spins Bob around, bends him over the bench and has his way with him.
Bob rushes back to the colony office. He is greeted by the smiling naked receptionist: May I help you? Bob says: Here is your card and key back. You can keep the $500 joining fee. Receptionist: But Sir, youve only been here a couple of hours; you only saw a small fraction of our facilities.....
Bob replies: Listen lady, I am 58 years old, I get a hard-on twice a month, but I fart 15 times a day
The woman notices his erection, comes over to him grinning sweetly and says: Sir, did you call for me? Bob replies: No, what do you mean? She says: You must be new here; let me explain. Its a rule here that if I give you an erection, it implies you called for me. Smiling, she then leads him to the side of a pool, lays down on a towel, eagerly pulls him to her and happily lets him have his way with her.
Bob continues exploring the facilities. He enters a sauna, sits down, and farts. Within a few seconds a huge, horribly corpulent, hairy man with a firm erection lumbers out of the steam towards him. The Huge Man says: Sir, did you call for me? Bob replies: No, what do you mean? The Huge Man: You must be new here; it is a rule that when you fart, it implies you called for me. The huge man then easily spins Bob around, bends him over the bench and has his way with him.
Bob rushes back to the colony office. He is greeted by the smiling naked receptionist: May I help you? Bob says: Here is your card and key back. You can keep the $500 joining fee. Receptionist: But Sir, youve only been here a couple of hours; you only saw a small fraction of our facilities.....
Bob replies: Listen lady, I am 58 years old, I get a hard-on twice a month, but I fart 15 times a day
The Scottish sergeant major walked into the local pharmacy in full military dress. As the chemist approached, he pulled a torn and tattered piece of paper from his sporran and carefully unfolded it to reveal a perforated, used condom.
"How much for a new one"? the soldier asked.
"One pound fifty."
"How much to have this one repaired?"
"One pound ten."
"I'll be back tomorrow," the seargent major said as he refolded the paper and carefully returned it to his sporran.
The next day, he walked back into the store, unfolded the paper and told the chemist, "The regiment would like this one repaired."
"How much for a new one"? the soldier asked.
"One pound fifty."
"How much to have this one repaired?"
"One pound ten."
"I'll be back tomorrow," the seargent major said as he refolded the paper and carefully returned it to his sporran.
The next day, he walked back into the store, unfolded the paper and told the chemist, "The regiment would like this one repaired."
On a farm out in the country lived a man and a woman and their three sons.
Early one morning, the woman awoke, and while looking out of the window onto to the pasture, she saw that the familys only cow was lying dead in the field. The situation looked hopeless to her -- how could she possibly continue to feed her family now?
In a depressed state of mind, she hung herself. When the husband awoke to find his wife dead, as well as the cow, he too began to see the hopelessness of the situation, and he shot himself in the head.
Now the oldest son woke up to discover his parents dead (and the cow), and he decided to go down to the river and drown himself.
When he got to the river, he discovered a mermaid sitting on the bank. She said, Ive seen all and know the reason for your despair. But if you will have sex with me five times in a row, I will restore your parents and the cow to you.
The son agreed to try, but after four times, he was simply unable to satisfy her again. So the mermaid drowned him in the river.
Next the second oldest son woke up. After discovering what had happened, he too decided to throw himself into the river.
The mermaid said to him, If you will have sex with me ten times in a row, I will make everything right. And while the son tried his best (seven times), it was not enough to satisfy the mermaid, so she drowned him in the river.
The youngest son woke up and saw his parents dead, the dead cow in the field, and his brothers gone. He decided that life was a hopeless prospect, and he went down to the river to throw himself in.
And there he also met the mermaid. I have seen all that has happened, and I can make everything right if you will only have sex with me fifteen times in a row.
The young son replied, Is that all? Why not twenty times in a row?
The mermaid was somewhat taken aback by this request. Then he said, Hell, why not twenty-five times in a row? And even as she was reluctantly agreeing to his request, he said, Why not THIRTY times in a row?
Finally, she said, Enough Okay, if you will have sex with me thirty times in a row, then I will bring everybody back to perfect health. Then the young son asked, Wait How do I know that thirty times in a row wont kill you like it did the cow?
Early one morning, the woman awoke, and while looking out of the window onto to the pasture, she saw that the familys only cow was lying dead in the field. The situation looked hopeless to her -- how could she possibly continue to feed her family now?
In a depressed state of mind, she hung herself. When the husband awoke to find his wife dead, as well as the cow, he too began to see the hopelessness of the situation, and he shot himself in the head.
Now the oldest son woke up to discover his parents dead (and the cow), and he decided to go down to the river and drown himself.
When he got to the river, he discovered a mermaid sitting on the bank. She said, Ive seen all and know the reason for your despair. But if you will have sex with me five times in a row, I will restore your parents and the cow to you.
The son agreed to try, but after four times, he was simply unable to satisfy her again. So the mermaid drowned him in the river.
Next the second oldest son woke up. After discovering what had happened, he too decided to throw himself into the river.
The mermaid said to him, If you will have sex with me ten times in a row, I will make everything right. And while the son tried his best (seven times), it was not enough to satisfy the mermaid, so she drowned him in the river.
The youngest son woke up and saw his parents dead, the dead cow in the field, and his brothers gone. He decided that life was a hopeless prospect, and he went down to the river to throw himself in.
And there he also met the mermaid. I have seen all that has happened, and I can make everything right if you will only have sex with me fifteen times in a row.
The young son replied, Is that all? Why not twenty times in a row?
The mermaid was somewhat taken aback by this request. Then he said, Hell, why not twenty-five times in a row? And even as she was reluctantly agreeing to his request, he said, Why not THIRTY times in a row?
Finally, she said, Enough Okay, if you will have sex with me thirty times in a row, then I will bring everybody back to perfect health. Then the young son asked, Wait How do I know that thirty times in a row wont kill you like it did the cow?
A FIREMAN came home from work one day and told his wife, You know, we have a wonderful system at the fire station: BELL 1 rings and we all put on our jackets, BELL 2 rings and we all slide down the pole, BELL 3 rings and were on the fire truck ready to go.
From now on when I say BELL 1, I want you to strip naked. When say BELL 2, I want you to jump in bed. And when I say BELL 3, we are going to make love all night. The next night he came home from work and yelled, BELL 1 The wife promptly took all her clothes off.
When he yelled BELL 2, the wife jumped into bed. When he yelled BELL 3, they began making love. After a few minutes the wife yelled BELL 4 What the hell is BELL 4? asked the husband?
ROLL OUT MORE HOSE, she replied, YOURE NOWHERE NEAR THE FIRE.
From now on when I say BELL 1, I want you to strip naked. When say BELL 2, I want you to jump in bed. And when I say BELL 3, we are going to make love all night. The next night he came home from work and yelled, BELL 1 The wife promptly took all her clothes off.
When he yelled BELL 2, the wife jumped into bed. When he yelled BELL 3, they began making love. After a few minutes the wife yelled BELL 4 What the hell is BELL 4? asked the husband?
ROLL OUT MORE HOSE, she replied, YOURE NOWHERE NEAR THE FIRE.
