i thought this had to be a joke. Here is the background of the “conservative resistance”. Right to left:
Scott moe: Convicted drunk driver who would later kill a person in a car accident where he was found to have been driving carelessly and for which he has no memory. Strongly against abortion. His only private sector experience is running a small farming equipment operation with his wife which went bankrupt. No jokes about moe. He shouldn’t even be in public life.
Jason kenney: Jesuit college (san francisco) dropout (during this brief time he was an anti-abortion activist). Entered politics after dropping out and has never left. Infamous for political scheming. Against gay marriage. His own sexual orientation is unknown (he did go to jesuit college in san francisco for one year). Proclaimed himself a proud virgin while an mp for the reform party (in his 30’s). Oddly may have lost his virginity to stephen harper (ok, i might have made this last one up...) private sector experience: None.
Andrew scheer: Dimples graduated from university! Of course, his official bio says “university of ottawa” but in fact, he dropped out of their history program and graduated from the university of regina. Private sector experience: 6 months as an insurance company trainee in regina before giving up and entering politics. Obedient cpc backbencher for 6 years before becoming speaker of the house. Distinguished himself as speaker by his meek obedience towards pm harper. May have been pm harper’s submissive gay sex slave (when harper’s garage boy, ray novak, was out of town). Strongly anti-abortion. Over a decade in federal politics and he is famous for being largely unknown. Does a great clapping seal impression. Unexpectedly won the party leadership because he was an overwhelming second choice and it was a ranked ballot. Promised that he would never legislate abortion if he became pm but last august he allowed his party to vote on making anti-abortion a party platform (it was narrowly defeated by a slim margin of 53 to 47%). Rumoured that he only has sex with wife jill on top because he is good at fucking up.
Brian pallister: The second university graduate of this group and the only one who did not drop out at one time. Graduated with a brandon u degree in education and taught high school. Teacher’s union rep. Later became a chartered financial consultant and worked for an insurance company for 12 years. Successful curler (very important in manitoba). Entered manitoba politics in 1993. Entered federal politics as a member of the canadian alliance in 2000. Went back to provincial politics in 2008. Anti abortion and gay rights. Has publicly stated his belief that halloween is like provincial sales tax and teaches children bad lessons about integrity. Sadly, he was not joking. Did i mention he is a great curler?
Doug ford: High school hash dealer and college dropout. Private sector experience: Sold hash. Later ceo of deco labels (a company his father started). Under his tenure the company floundered. Entered municipal politics... Famous for being rob’s older brother. He honestly had no idea his brother used drugs. High school quote: “hey rob, try this. The first one is free.” was picked by the opc’s social conservative faction to succeed patrick brown (while brown was still leader). ...the rest is history. And yes, he is rumoured to be fucking kinga. You can tell when they’ve done it because kinga walks around bow legged on account of his girth (stomach, not penis).
Canada is in sad shape if this motley group of social conservative professional public teat suckers are considered “the conservative resistance”.
