The Leafs Are So Bad...Jokes

[lovelatinas]

1. The Leafs are so bad, even a cigarette cabinet has players.
2. The Leafs are so bad, that when Toskala almost got into an accident a truck went through his legs.
3. The Leafs are so bad, that Jim Balsile makes a bid to move the Leafs to Hamilton and the Hamilton Mayor rejects the move, not Bettman.
4. The Leafs are so bad, that Ovechkin calls Toronto home.
5. The Leafs are so bad, that they cannot get a booking with Mirage.
6. The Leafs are so bad, that Johny Bower wears Montreal Canadiens PJs to bed.
7. The Leafs are so bad, that they qualify for the World Championship Of Dodgeball.
8. The Leafs are so bad, that scalpers now go see the Leaf games at the ACC.
9. The Leafs are so bad, that Hanna Montana out sold the Leafs at the ACC.
10. The Leafs are so bad, that Leaf Nation is now Leafs desecration.
11. The Leafs are so bad, that when they visit sick kids hospital, the kids ask were is Ovechkin.
12. The Leafs are so bad, that Micheal Jackson is rewritting his lyrics to the song "BAD" in his grave.
13. The Leafs are so bad, that Terb members get more SOGs.

If there are anymore or good ones post them here.

 

[islandman4567]

lol @ 11, 13

 

[Pargolfer]

Here are a few more...

1. What do the Leafs and the Titanic have in common?
They both look good until they hit the ice.

2.What do the Toronto Maple Leafs and whales have in common?
They both get totally confused when surrounded by ice.

3.Why are the Toronto Maple Leafs like Canada Post?
They both wear uniforms and don't deliver!

4.Why doesn't Hamilton have an NHL team?
Because if they did, then Toronto would want one.

5.What do the Toronto Maple Leafs, Toronto Argonauts and Toronto Blue Jays all have in common besides being based in Toronto?
None of them can play hockey.

6.What do you call 30 millionaires around a TV watching the Stanley Cup Playoffs?
7.The Toronto Maple Leafs.

8.What do the Toronto Maple Leafs and Billy Graham have in common?
They both can make 20,000 people stand up and yell 'Jesus Christ'.

9.How do you keep the Toronto Maple Leafs out of your yard?
Put up a goal net.

10.What do you call a Toronto Maple Leaf with a Stanley Cup ring?
A thief.

11.What do the Toronto Maple Leafs and possums have in common?
Both play dead at home and get killed on the road.

12.How many Toronto Maple Leafs does it take to win a Stanley Cup?
Nobody knows ... and we may never find out.

I am sure someone will do a search and find that these were alraeady posted in 2003..LOL

Cheers

PG

 

[shy_munda]

The Maple Leafs are so bad, they make George Bush look good!! LOL!!

 

[Reload]

Two Maple Leafs fans are arrested after jumping the turnstiles at the Air Canada Centre. Both are ordered back to their seats to watch the game.


A man says, “My dog watches all the Maple Leafs games on TV. Every time they lose, he lies down and cries his eyes out.” His friend says, “That’s incredible. What does he do when they win?”

The man replies, “I don’t know,

I’ll let you know when it happens.”


Hamilton may not have an NHL team but they’re only one point behind the Leafs!


Q: What did the Leafs fan do after Toronto won the Stanley Cup?

A: He turned off his PlayStation.


One morning in geography class, the teacher asks students where cities and states are located. “Does anyone know where Pittsburgh is?” Billy raises up his hand and says, “Yeah, Pennsylvania.” The teacher replies, “Very good, Billy. Now can anyone tell me were Detroit is?” Suzy raises her hand and says, “That’s in Michigan.” The teacher again says, “Very good.” Finally, she asks, “Where is Toronto?” Tommy raises his hand and says, “Oh, oh, pick me, I know.” The teacher says, “Okay Tommy, where is Toronto?”

“It’s in last place.”


A Canadian peacekeeper is walking in a desert when he comes across a magic lamp. He rubs it and out comes a genie. The genie promises to give him one wish. The peacekeeper thinks hard and finally takes out a map. He points at the region where he’s from and says all he wants is to have peace in that region. “Wow,” the genie says, “that’s a tough one. Do you have anything else?” The peacekeeper thinks a moment and says,

“How about the Leafs winning the Stanley Cup?”

The genie replies: “Let me see that map again.”


Q: Why can’t the Leafs drink their morning coffee or tea?

A: The Habs have all the cups.


Q: Why did it take so long for the Leafs to get a website?

A: They couldn’t put together three Ws.


Q: What do the Maple Leafs and Pierre Berton have in common?

A: They’d both agree that 1967 was the last good year!


The general manager, the coach and six Maple Leaf starters walk into a bar. Nobody is surprised.

 

[MuffinMuncher]

Little David was in Grade 5 when his teacher asked all the kids what their fathers did for a living. The typical answers came up: doctor, fireman, policeman, salesman, etc.

David was being uncharacteristically quiet so the teacher called on him to answer. "My father's an exotic dancer in a gay bar and takes off all his clothes in front of other men. Sometimes, if the offer is reallt good, he''ll go out to the alley with some guy have anal sex with him for money."

The teacher was so shaken by this that she quickly gave the kids colouring to do while taking David outside with her. "Is that really true about your father?" She asked. "No," David replid, "He plays for the Toronto Maple Leafs but I was too embarassed to say that in front of the other kids."

 

[MuffinMuncher]

On the news tonight I heard that the police reportedly found a body floating in Lake Erie down near the water off Queens Quay by Government nightclub, apparently the victim of foul play.

He was pulled from the water wearing ladies black fishnet stockings, a red garter belt and black silk thong panties, a Victoria's Secret push-up bra, a strap-on dildo and a Toronto Maple Leafs jersey.

Crime scene photos showed the the man also had several tattoos including a full-color 12" high gay pride rainbow across his chest and several Arian nation and Nazi swastikas up and down his arms. When questioned as to why they had tampered with evidence, officers stated they had removed the jersey to save the family from any embarrassment.

 

[calloway]

This one was apparently said at the game in Vancouver last night...

"What's the difference between a triangle and the Leafs?" asked one scribe. "A triangle has three points."

 

[bullitt]

what do komisarek and timmins ont have in common?... they,ll both be -24 come november!

 

[yabut]

Whats the difference between the Leafs and A Triangle?


A triangle has 3 points.

 

[Skinnzz]

what do komisarek and timmins ont have in common?... They,ll both be -24 come november!

lmao

 

[ricepower88]

Q: Why can't the Leafs surf the internet?

A: Beacuse they can get 3 W's together.

 

[spankingman]

On the news tonight I heard that the police reportedly found a body floating in Lake Erie down near the water off Queens Quay by Government nightclub, apparently the victim of foul play.

He was pulled from the water wearing ladies black fishnet stockings, a red garter belt and black silk thong panties, a Victoria's Secret push-up bra, a strap-on dildo and a Toronto Maple Leafs jersey.

Crime scene photos showed the the man also had several tattoos including a full-color 12" high gay pride rainbow across his chest and several Arian nation and Nazi swastikas up and down his arms. When questioned as to why they had tampered with evidence, officers stated they had removed the jersey to save the family from any embarrassment.

Wouldnt that be Lake ONTARIO?