Most of my life adult life I have been seeing escort but very infrequently . I will go months or even years between visits. My longest break was about 8 years . Then I will find a girl that I really like and see just her until she leaves or I decide to take another break . Once again I find myself irresistibly attracted to a girl I just met and am seeing regularly. The visits are magical and I want more but then I deal with the dilemma of being married. I don’t understand my desires. Any advice especially from SW s would be greatly appreciated. Thank you
SW dilemma
- Thread starter Synchronized
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Another falling for an escort thread. There are many with lots of advice.
My take is, if you find you are unable to control your feelings of attraction and need for more of a relationship, then stop seeing them. This is like a type of addiction that can ruin you, your life and leave you emotionally crushed. The odds of this turning into a successful ltr approach zero. Go cold turkey.
As someone who sees escorts not only for sex, but also some kind of human connection I get where this comes from. If I find an SP I like, I tend to stick with them, rather than play the field. It is possible to have a friendly relationship with an escort where you can not only have sex, but also relate on other levels. Where you look forward to seeing you and she looks forward to seeing you, and you have a great time together. It’s a huge rush to see your regular girl and she runs across the room to jump into your arms, or barely lets you get your coat off before she’s making out with you at the door.
However it’s a friendly business relationship. The vast majority of SPs are NOT in this to form a relationship with you. In fact a client who falls for them, and becomes obsessed is a liability, potentially sucking up unpaid time and emotional energy, and even worse the potential to become a stalker. The only way you should try to pursue a relationship with an SP is 1. If you are available 2. She is clearly interested, and expresses this SPONTANEOUSLY and unequivocally. 3. You accept her the way she is, including her profession and it’s requirement to be intimate with other people, and not get jealous.
Try to recognize why you need “more”. Learn the difference e between sex, affection and attachment and commitment. Then take steps to get it in your regular life. If you think you are getting it with an SP, 99% chance it’s an illusion.
My take is, if you find you are unable to control your feelings of attraction and need for more of a relationship, then stop seeing them. This is like a type of addiction that can ruin you, your life and leave you emotionally crushed. The odds of this turning into a successful ltr approach zero. Go cold turkey.
As someone who sees escorts not only for sex, but also some kind of human connection I get where this comes from. If I find an SP I like, I tend to stick with them, rather than play the field. It is possible to have a friendly relationship with an escort where you can not only have sex, but also relate on other levels. Where you look forward to seeing you and she looks forward to seeing you, and you have a great time together. It’s a huge rush to see your regular girl and she runs across the room to jump into your arms, or barely lets you get your coat off before she’s making out with you at the door.
However it’s a friendly business relationship. The vast majority of SPs are NOT in this to form a relationship with you. In fact a client who falls for them, and becomes obsessed is a liability, potentially sucking up unpaid time and emotional energy, and even worse the potential to become a stalker. The only way you should try to pursue a relationship with an SP is 1. If you are available 2. She is clearly interested, and expresses this SPONTANEOUSLY and unequivocally. 3. You accept her the way she is, including her profession and it’s requirement to be intimate with other people, and not get jealous.
Try to recognize why you need “more”. Learn the difference e between sex, affection and attachment and commitment. Then take steps to get it in your regular life. If you think you are getting it with an SP, 99% chance it’s an illusion.
Don't focus on escorts or your wife. Cut them both from your life and focus on you.
I have been seeing Street Walkers, Hookers, Escorts, Service Providers for over 40 years. I am in a different world where I travel a great deal and I am unable to have 'real' relationships. I do not even have friends but I have a lot of people I know. I have been told by professionals that I am unable to love or be loved. Yet we all want what we can not have. So I am not the best guy to give advice. You need to find what works for you. No one can tell you what to do. Happiness s a state of mind. It does not come from things or other people.
With that said, I have spent and continue to see a therapist who attempts to guide me through my trauma from my past. Providers give me a measure of human contact that I do not have in my life. It allows me to fill my life with moments that are very powerful and meaningful in the moment. It is like living out my dreams. I have escorts who I have seen for a hour but I have had providers (we now refer to them as sugar babies) for nearly 15 years. I have a $100,000 club of escorts who I have seen for years. I kept a diary of my experiences over the years but I have lost them a few times due to technical difficulties but my memories are with me for ever. I have great memories. I know the 'relationships' I have are not real but together we live our our fantasies together. In our times together we can be husband and wife or girlfriend and boyfriend, We can do any thing or be anything we want. It is a blast. But we all know nothing lasts forever. We only have the moment. There is no happy ever.
Don't get me wrong I often wish I had this thing called 'love'. It is like the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. Since it is not attainable I will live out each moment with each provider.
I think the advice is clear we just need to learn to love what we have and not what we do not have. Chasing that which is unattainable is a fools error.
If you are married learn to enjoy what you have rather than chasing you know gives you knowing but pain. You are one lucky guy to have someone to come home to. I long for a 'Home'. I pay ladies to meet me at the airport, or to play my wife. or to tell me they love me. I envy you.
"Happiness is a state of mind" can only be achieved when you understand what emotions are. The 'what', "why", 'when' is what drives us in our emotions. IF you know the definitions of emotions then the what, response, and reaction to emotions will help you, and anyone can achieve "Happiness is a state of mind". Acceptance and commitment is involved. Once you have that the rest is an adventure. BTW trust is a stated of mind I think.
As humans we always want more or better, I call this the 7 sin hoarder. Comparing in a negative way is a vicious spiral downward to emptiness.
As I always say in response to threads like this, I have ladies whose company I enjoy and for whom I like to think the feeling is mutual. I've also been really lucky to have really great chemistry with the ladies I've gotten together with over the last few years.
But, at the end of the day, I'm realistic about the nature of our relationship.
But, at the end of the day, I'm realistic about the nature of our relationship.
There are two sides.... YOU LOVE IT IT feeds your ego your addiction it is an electric shot for your life,,,, BUT ( and there is always a BUT ) only play with an SW that keeps LIMITS on you... because YOU will go too far.... and that will create a disaster... so FIND an SW that LIKES you but is realistic... and appreciates the MONEY and shows appreciation !!! Because in the end thats all its ever about MONEY !
Interesting thought provoking. Thank you! As you can tell I do spend a lot of time thinking about it. I often try with my providers to find the answers to some questions. I often find people do not really know what they want they are just searching. Half the fun is the seeking out what we are looking forward. Maybe that is why we always want what someone else has or we perceive they have. Why happiness is a fleeting thing we grab on to but like grains of sand it falls through our fingers. We need to enjoy when we pick it up as we know it will be gone in a heart beat.
The biggest fairy tale is Happy Ever After!
So true and I have had providers to tell me the money is the thing that keeps the fantasy alive once it is gone then the fantasy cracks and nothing worst than shattered glass.
I started this thread and have to say I am still seeing the girl , it is still wonderful but I have a much more realistic picture of the situation and am trying to just really enjoy our time together with the realization that that is really all it is . Great chemistry between an escort and client ! So I am trying to control my feelings with some success so far .
Oh hell Synchronized let the emotion and feels flow and enjoy the total experience. Don't hold back. We both know it will not last but in the mean time suck it for all it is worth. Holding back just leads to regrets later on.
One provider said it was like jumping off the cliff. You know you will hit the ground it is a matter of time so rather than worry about it just enjoy the view it is incredible! What a rush! Once it is gone it an't coming back!
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