I knew this chap - litigation lawyer - who'd mastered the art of controlled farting.
Many people have the ability to take in a swallow of air and emit it as a belch -- even using the belch like their voice, and speaking coherent sentences. Look at the youtubes on that, if you want a good laugh.
The ability to do a similar thing with a fart, by controlling one's rectum muscles, is not so common; but this chap had it.
It's not unknown for lawyers, at the dramatic moment in a trial, to try to distract the jury by some such trick as tearing a piece of paper. Well, this chap was able to emit a horse and cart right whenever he wanted. No smell, just sound.
He had also mastered the art of looking round with a concerned expression, as if getting ready to admonish the guilty party.
I still get twinges from the strain of trying to keep a straight face!
