Spousal Abuse- A male perspective

[Perry Mason]

BTW, I am not trying to start any problems here, but why is it okay to talk to about men being abused and not the woman and not the thread that was put up and orginally brought this whole abuse conversation to the table. We are so supportive here to these men who have been abused and brought thru the mud as we should be, but when we brought up it happening to women, it was shut down. Just a question to think about for all those who wanted to secret touch's story thread deleted.

Kiarra

That is, in part, why I told secret_touch that I objected to her removing the thread!

And that, also, is the difference between this thread and the other one: Chivas Regal has not elected to remove this one.

Maybe that option to delete should, itself, be deleted?

All of us who contribute to this board invest our time and energy - some of us, a lot of it -- into what we say because we want to share it with others. (I know, we are scratching our writer's itch )

It is simply not fair that the original poster can pick up all the marbles and walk away from the game! I think anyone should be able to start a thread, but once it's "out there," it belongs to all of us!

IMHO, of course!

Perry

 

[Perry Mason]

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Moving onto the CAS.... it is a broken and inefficient system. But the true blame doesnt lie with them, it lies in the community and individuals involved. We have to get ourselves out of this litigious state that we are in. Its time to stop listening to the lawyers and start listening to common sense. I mean, come on, blaming others for something that you did?

Sheik: eloquence and profundity I have not heard from you before.

Would you be surprised to learn that -- perhaps for the first time -- I totally agree with you?

And it's not only the CAS, it's the whole fuckin' system. It's broken. It has been broken for quite some time, but very few within it even dare to consider if, perhaps, the emperor has no clothes!

And -- IMHO, of course! -- the true reason that the system is beyond repair is our, collective, "Trial by Battle" mentality. It may have made sense in 1776 or, even, 1867... but in 2002?

Perry

 

[Perry Mason]

Re: Re: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Has hell frozen over or something?

Oh! I see! You are surprised!

And I think I heard a rumour that Lucifer has been taking skating lessons. It was in another thread that was deleted. Apparently Lucifer objected to this fact being made public.

Perry

 

[Perry Mason]

...She was being insulted, accused of male bashing or at least starting a possible male bashing thread and she was met with major hostility...
Kiarra

Yes, but she was being defended, too, by me. She got "cold feet" when someone strongly disagreed with her... never gave it a chance to develop!

Kiarra: you and I, overall, agree. My point -- if there is one -- is that if you say something here, then you should be prepared to stand by it or to admit a mistake and move on!

Perry

 

[Chivas Regal]

My only regret is that I did NOT get a chance to read/see secret touch's original post.

The ranting I could have done ... Seriously, I originally posted this thread in response to the response. Simply put, discussion is good, and Perry is bang on in his assertion:

It is simply not fair that the original poster can pick up all the marbles and walk away from the game! I think anyone should be able to start a thread, but once it's "out there," it belongs to all of us!

Never be afraid of repercussion! It often sparks some of the best debate on this board. It is better to stand for something then fall for anything.

That said, if anyone has a link to sercret touch's story, I would love the opportunity to read it. Better yet, S.T. why don't you repost it?

Chivas

 

[nightcrawler]

I feel for anyone who is abused, however

the point that I see in this thread is not who is abused and who is being abused, as probably everyone is aware that there are more male abusers then there are women. Its the fact that women can get away with so much more, I have scars all over my body from scatches and bite marks, in addition what she finally did to my face, the police told me that I would have been put in jail if I had done that to her. I still remember her saying who's going to believe a man over a women, and there lies the truth. In defending myself she had a scratch on her arm for that I was charged with assult. The police have photos of my face (my eye and gouges over my lip) and my hand (gouges again), I know that the police have to protect themselves in these types of cases and in fact the detectives who charged me seemed uncomfortable. The case is still outstanding as when I went to court they wanted me to enter into a intervention program, but get this, I had to plead guilty LoL!!! Of course I did not enter this program so I'm waiting my court date.

I am not a women basher, nor do I think all women are the same, I feel for anyone that is abused, be man or woman, I also have always had a problem with bullies. My point and the reason that I contributed to this thread, is the ease that unfounded claims can be brought against a man and the utterly devestation on ones life it can bring.

 

[Dr. Gonzo]

I had no problem with secret_touch's thread, although I think the circumstances may be a little different. I still don't understand why she decided to back down and delete it.

I sympathize with anyone who has suffered abuse. Life is difficult enough without having someone you care for adding to that suffering.

I don't think it was anyones intent to man bash or female bash, just share some personal stories and take what we can from them.

 

[Chivas Regal]

Re: I deleted because....

Life is to short...you only live once !!

Take care everyone
xoxo Cathy

May I add Cathy, that you only get one crack at this life, so enjoy every moment good and bad. Learn from the bad and for goodness sake share the GOOD!

Thanks for the follow up. Now for this weeks thought provoking post from Chivas....