Special Needs Forum
- Thread starter Gentle Ben
- Start date
Agreed and there should beeeee a disclamer like "just becuse I am on this list does not mean i will see every disabled client. I have the right to work iwithin my comfort zone."
It is hard to see a downside of that, particularly if they specified what special needs they could work with, or had experience with.
Yes, you are right. Though most of the other aspects have less impact on hobbying. What were you thinking of in particular?
From my experience (both with people close to me who have Asperger and a few clients of mine), it's the specificities of those "bad social skills" that can have an impact on hobbying. For instance, the inability (or difficulty) to recognize and understand non-verbal and non-literal communication (whether it's tone, irony, or body language, etc.). In the context of an SP/client encounter, a lot of the communication happens through those non-verbal and non-literal cues, especially if the SP is trying to keep the illusion alive and to avoid hurting the sensibilities of her client by vocalizing certain things. For instance, many SPs have developed subtle ways to avoid performing or letting the client perform certain activities that they aren't comfortable with: instead of stating "don't stick your fingers in my pussy", she will gently move your hand away, or re-position herself away from your hand. A client who doesn't have Asperger and who isn't an ass will understand that this means "don't stick your finger in the pussy" and will respect that. But someone with Asperger may not recognize this subtle move as meaning "don't stick your fingers in the pussy", and will try it again. Which obviously won't make the SP happy and will most likely lead to a less-than-stellar experience for both parties.
Good grief! Sorry, I didn't want to cause so much tension. Gen, thank you! couldn't have said it better myself.
Just to clarify things, my involvement with Special Needs people, is that I am a certified personal trainer, I teach a group of adults about keeping fit and healthy.
So my personal experience with Special Needs people is such that social interactions and communication with these people can sometimes be impaired.
I apologize for lumping everyone with Special Needs as the same, which I know is not the case. I just became alarmed when a certain board member mentioned people with Autism Spectrum Disorders. Two of the clients that I teach have ASD, I feel somewhat like a mother hen to them, and I am overly protective.
Thank you for listening!
Meriam
Just to clarify things, my involvement with Special Needs people, is that I am a certified personal trainer, I teach a group of adults about keeping fit and healthy.
So my personal experience with Special Needs people is such that social interactions and communication with these people can sometimes be impaired.
I apologize for lumping everyone with Special Needs as the same, which I know is not the case. I just became alarmed when a certain board member mentioned people with Autism Spectrum Disorders. Two of the clients that I teach have ASD, I feel somewhat like a mother hen to them, and I am overly protective.
Thank you for listening!
Meriam
Meriam, you would be surprised how many differently abled and disordered men hobby. With regards to ASD and Aspergers, I know 4 gents on terb that have this. In addition, I know several gents that are not mobile and enjoy SPs.
Mother hen, no, you're much too sexy for that.
On the other hand, the Asperger guy will appreciate it when you say "don't stick your finger in my pussy", because then he will not be unsure of what to do. Hopefully.
Thanks for the feedback everyone, that's what is so great about having discussions , everyone gets to input their thoughts.
Exactly. But unless the provider is a) aware that the client has Asperger, and b) understand the implications of Asperger's syndrome, she won't know that she needs to vocalize everything.
And from my experience, even knowing that someone has Asperger, and understanding the implications of it, it can sometimes be difficult to communicate effectively with them (of course, depending of the severity of their Asperger's, and what kind of social skills and communication training/therapies they have had, if any). Most of us don't realize how much of our communication is done through non-verbal/non-literal cues, and it can be difficult to be aware of something that we do mostly unconsciously.
As a disabled client I can say this is exactly the type of thing I could use. A list like this could help make it easier to search for providers who are open to this sort of thing. The more severely disabled you are, the less people are willing to see you(understandably) and so more research is required.
Thanks for bumping this Tony. I can see that it would be a useful resource for those who would be using it.
My only request would be can we not use the term "Normal"? Could it not be "able bodied", or "neuro-typical" because quite frankly there are many who live with these limitations that are a heck of a lot more "normal" then some who don't. They have more verve, more get up and go, and more drive to make their day work for them too.
Tony said it well when he said he is not a Disabled person but a person who happens to be disabled.
Just my very shiny 2 cents.
For the sake of privacy I am not going to say whom in this thread I've had the pleasure of meeting I will simply say it was a pleasure to "communicate" with those I have known in the past and you're lovely!
Disclosure can be key in good interactions and relations but you deserve the best. *Kisses to you all!*
Oh and for those who might think someone with Aspergers or who is on the Autism spectrum may not have mental faculties... I darn near put my fingernails through my palms. Truly you need some education. I am trying to be polite but reading things like that make it frustratingly hard to do! They have more blunt honesty, and truism in their world as they are not pone to the manipulation and deceit that come with the neuro-typical. If only everyone were that transparent!
Enjoy the holiday,
Maddie
My only request would be can we not use the term "Normal"? Could it not be "able bodied", or "neuro-typical" because quite frankly there are many who live with these limitations that are a heck of a lot more "normal" then some who don't. They have more verve, more get up and go, and more drive to make their day work for them too.
Tony said it well when he said he is not a Disabled person but a person who happens to be disabled.
Just my very shiny 2 cents.
For the sake of privacy I am not going to say whom in this thread I've had the pleasure of meeting I will simply say it was a pleasure to "communicate" with those I have known in the past and you're lovely!
Disclosure can be key in good interactions and relations but you deserve the best. *Kisses to you all!*
Oh and for those who might think someone with Aspergers or who is on the Autism spectrum may not have mental faculties... I darn near put my fingernails through my palms. Truly you need some education. I am trying to be polite but reading things like that make it frustratingly hard to do! They have more blunt honesty, and truism in their world as they are not pone to the manipulation and deceit that come with the neuro-typical. If only everyone were that transparent!
Enjoy the holiday,
Maddie
This is an excellent idea for those on the board who don't hobby or have trouble finding a SP that can accommodate them. There are no doubt many on this board who could benefit from this. A few are very prolific posters but alas never seem to hobby which many find puzzling since we are site dealing with the hobby. Some even say they don't hobby, see SPs, go to MPs, or SCs, or even make recommendations of who to see. Perhaps they will make a nice fit here and they will be able to finally partake better in the hobby as it was intended in a Special Needs Forum.....
I guess the question would be, how would you confirm this person has a special need? Like for example I say I have a leg amputated? Would you take my word for it or what? The reason I ask is no I do not have an amputated leg but starting June 10th I go for my 1st of 4 operations. I do not know how this is going to go, I do not know if I will still have all of my motor skills, right now I am able bodied. June 11th I maybe missing some motor skills, like lack of arm movement. leg movement, etc. it may be temporary, could end up permenant. You can pm me if you like! Besides that I would like to mention, it is a great idea!
Fred agreed to the forum when I originally posted. It didn't seem to gain much support so I let it die. I would still be willing as well Im sure Fred would be ,to give it another shot & see.
Lets give it another kick at the can and see where it goes....
Sorry I don't foresee a new forum devoted to special needs being active enough to be self sustainable. (please correct me if I am wrong, just my quick thought)
Have you tried a "special needs" thread in the incall or outcall forums that could be updated by Terb members - especially TERB members who do have special needs and SPs who would be happy to see such an extraordinary person?
Have you tried a "special needs" thread in the incall or outcall forums that could be updated by Terb members - especially TERB members who do have special needs and SPs who would be happy to see such an extraordinary person?
The problem with it being a thread on the main board is simple:
Gentleman A is in a wheelchair but functional and Ladies 1, 2, 3, and 8 will see him but ladies 4, 5, 6, and 7 won't.
Gentleman B is hearing impaired/speech impaired/communication impaired and Ladies 4, 5, 6, and 7 will see him but ladies 1, 2, 3, and 8 won't.
Gentleman C has extreme scaring but functional in all ways and Ladies 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, and 8 will see him but lady 7 won't.
But to figure it out... Every single man who wanders this board will have to openly disclose to all of the "able bodied" or "neuro-typical" men out there what his particular disabilities may be?
I assure you that more wander the internet with ease, and are quite content to not have it on the open board but would be more willing to share in a private forum.
Gentleman A is in a wheelchair but functional and Ladies 1, 2, 3, and 8 will see him but ladies 4, 5, 6, and 7 won't.
Gentleman B is hearing impaired/speech impaired/communication impaired and Ladies 4, 5, 6, and 7 will see him but ladies 1, 2, 3, and 8 won't.
Gentleman C has extreme scaring but functional in all ways and Ladies 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, and 8 will see him but lady 7 won't.
But to figure it out... Every single man who wanders this board will have to openly disclose to all of the "able bodied" or "neuro-typical" men out there what his particular disabilities may be?
I assure you that more wander the internet with ease, and are quite content to not have it on the open board but would be more willing to share in a private forum.
