I have read several threads recently where a Terb member has fallen for a favored SP. This got me thinking. There must be cases where the opposite happens – the SP falls for a client. And why not, she is no different than anyone else. She meets a man, who in many cases is successful, confident, and attentive under circumstances that cut through all the crap of dating ritual. She gets to know him in a personal way and over a period of time becomes part of his life as he hers. Only problem is that he goes home to a wife and family safe in his home and work environment able to call on her at his whim. She goes back to her life, both personal and work knowing that he will call her again when the need arises but not consider her anything other than another employee available when he needs her.
SP Falls for Client?
- Thread starter drrogers
- Start date
Drrogers, imho the SP always has the option of seeing the client at a reduced rate or "off the clock" if she chooses, enabling her more opportunities to see her client. The client doesn't have these options and while many hobbiests are married I'd bet an equal number are not. Your POV in this example places the power in the hands of the hobbiest not the SP which I think rarely if ever happens. A pipe dream.
IMHO, if an SP allows herself to fall for a client, she's not mature enough to be an SP. The game is played as it is for a reason; as everybody knows, you pay us to go away.
And before I get flamed because 'love just happens', unless you're in junior high or mainlining wishful thinking, I think that's a crock. Everybody has decided to not pursue something because it's inappropriate at some point in their lives, and I don't see potential relationships getting a magic pass.
Heh...can you tell I'm not popular with the popular girls?
And before I get flamed because 'love just happens', unless you're in junior high or mainlining wishful thinking, I think that's a crock. Everybody has decided to not pursue something because it's inappropriate at some point in their lives, and I don't see potential relationships getting a magic pass.
Heh...can you tell I'm not popular with the popular girls?
Vancouver Femme Fatale said:Heh...can you tell I'm not popular with the popular girls?
wow, your something like me...lol
Heh...I think the popular girls are highly over-rated; it's us interesting chicks that get the interesting guys in the end...
I personally know several SP's as friends (ie: as friends, never had sex with them, only ever friends). I can say this, every one of them has been in this situation at some point. One of them does this serially... she has consecutively fallen for 3 married guys in a row, none of whom had any intention of ever leaving their wives for her, but in one way or another strung her along. I think she always knew that she was being strung along, she just didn't want to face it because it was a comfortable situation for her.
There seems to be a psychology to it. I think SP's know they are not really "available" and so they are unconciously attracted to men who are not really "available" either. That's how it starts. It usually ends badly, though, because you can't really plan your emotions like that.
There seems to be a psychology to it. I think SP's know they are not really "available" and so they are unconciously attracted to men who are not really "available" either. That's how it starts. It usually ends badly, though, because you can't really plan your emotions like that.
I do think you're absolutely right about the "unavailability" factor, however, there's all kinds of unavailable men; an SP picking married clients is really pushing it. How often do we hear about those perennially unavailable guys who *refuse* to marry any woman? Hollywood's entire romantic comedy genre would wither and die without them, and Renee Zellweger would be reduced to selling pencils on street corners. Why not the long distant relationship? Or an online fantasy partner you'll never meet and actually have to deal with? Hell, write one of the many upstanding yet tragically misunderstood lads in our fine penitentiary system!
I think it's a hell of a lot easier to find an unavailable man than one with his nose against the windows of jewelry stores wistfully gazing at engagement rings and watching all the happy couples strolling around in the mall before bursting into manly tears in the Food Court
I don't know if 'you can't plan your emotions' really rings true...wouldn't you think a woman who makes a living as a rent-a-girlfriend would be better at planning her emotions than most? I think it has more to do with intellectual and emotional maturity than being an SP. Either that, or I'm a cold, cold Robowhore
Gawd...can you tell I'm a littly punchy? Rented waaaay too many movies this weekend!
Hit the nail on the head
Well VFF, I think you hit the nail on the head here:
Vancouver Femme Fatale said:IMHO, if an SP allows herself to fall for a client, she's not mature enough to be an SP. The game is played as it is for a reason; as everybody knows, you pay us to go away.
And before I get flamed because 'love just happens', unless you're in junior high or mainlining wishful thinking, I think that's a crock. Everybody has decided to not pursue something because it's inappropriate at some point in their lives, and I don't see potential relationships getting a magic pass.
Heh...can you tell I'm not popular with the popular girls?
Well VFF, I think you hit the nail on the head here:
nominis said:
I see a few ladies who I have this type of arrangement with. However, it has nothing to do with either party falling for the other. It's a symbiotic relationship - she offers me a discount which saves me money, while the fee I pay her is still more than what she would receive from an agency.
Granted, over time the "relationship" as it were becomes more comfortable and as a result some of the barriers come down. I.e. I know most of the girls real names, and some personal info/topics have been revealed/discussed. I suppose one could consider that a "friendship", but no more so than if someone were to invite their accountant and lawyer over for a mid summer BBQ and a few beers, or a golf game. While it may be enjoyable for all, ultimately it remains a business relationship.
I have only heard of a few cases where an SP and a client have entered into a bonafide relationship. However, I have no idea how it turned out. IMO, this type of scenerio is a bit far fetched. I do know of a situation where an SP saw a client over an extended period of time, and they did become true friends. When that happened though, the SP refused to continue seeing him as a client since it would be too confusing.
Here's an interesting tidbit...
Part of the reason that I started seeing SP's was that I don't have the time to devote to a conventional relationship due to my work commitments. Furthermore, having a relationship, to me anyway, is like having a second full time job and I refuse to deal with the attendant emotional hassles.
That said, I like the idea of a pseudo relationship at arm's length, albeit paid for. It surprises me that many seem willing to turn that fantasy into reality by wanting a relationship with an SP. IMO, it can never happen, for as soon as it becomes real, you are forced to deal with all the stuff (emotional and otherwise) that you sought to leave behind by seeing SPs in the first place. In effect, it becomes an antithesis to the original fantasy. Can anyone say DOOMED??
Part of the reason that I started seeing SP's was that I don't have the time to devote to a conventional relationship due to my work commitments. Furthermore, having a relationship, to me anyway, is like having a second full time job and I refuse to deal with the attendant emotional hassles.
That said, I like the idea of a pseudo relationship at arm's length, albeit paid for. It surprises me that many seem willing to turn that fantasy into reality by wanting a relationship with an SP. IMO, it can never happen, for as soon as it becomes real, you are forced to deal with all the stuff (emotional and otherwise) that you sought to leave behind by seeing SPs in the first place. In effect, it becomes an antithesis to the original fantasy. Can anyone say DOOMED??
Vancouver Femme Fatale said:Heh...I think the popular girls are highly over-rated; it's us interesting chicks that get the interesting guys in the end...
You might get me in the front but never in the end.
I've fallen for one or two in my time. Always ended in disappointment and heartache. Never again. Except you VFF. You're special.
I imagine it will end in disappointment for both
It would take a very strong (ex-)client to have a relationship with an SP. I imagine the sex would not be as good and the emotional swings to be great. Doesn't seem worth it in the end.
Then if they do maintain a long lasting relationship, how would he know it is genuine? Sounds a lot like marriage to me
It would take a very strong (ex-)client to have a relationship with an SP. I imagine the sex would not be as good and the emotional swings to be great. Doesn't seem worth it in the end.
Then if they do maintain a long lasting relationship, how would he know it is genuine? Sounds a lot like marriage to me
