SP experience from Hell

[zar]

I am posting this at the risk of being the laughing stock of terb but I hope that others can learn from my experience.

Many months ago I decided to see an SP. I was scammed and lied to in many previous relationship and thought that this was easier. I did my research and thought I found someone intelligent and didn't do assembly line work (ie. only saw one person per day).

I saw this SP and thought she very intelligent, kind and level-headed. I started to really care for her. Over time she confided in me with a lot of things and I really felt sorry for her. She told me about her past relationships, her miscarriages and the abortion that her current boyfriend got her to have even though they are now happy together. Then on one visit she told me she did a porn and her boyfriend found out it and her employer fire her because of this. She told me she was going to retire but will still continue to see me. The last time I saw her she told me she needed 3k to pay off her bill but she didn't have the money because she just bought a property, her boyfriend is in debt, blah blah blah. Over the next two weeks I tried to see her but she was busy and I even asked her whether it's because she doesn't want to see me. She replied that she was sad to know that I could think this way.

Almost a week later I get a email back from a person identifying himself as an investigator who is going to track me down and tell my wife about everything. I wasn't scared because I'm not attached but was just pissed. I was actually scared that something had happened to her and tried to find out more about what happened. It turns out that this person was her boyfriend and he didn't know what she was doing. Then I get a tirade of emails just mocking and ridiculing me. I also found out that almost everything she told me were lies.

Presently, I am in touch with a lawyer trying to get back my money. Part of me just want to forget about the whole thing but I just want justice being served. Being scammed is one thing. Being scammed and then ridiculed after is another. In the end anyone who hurt those who care about them is hurting themselves in the end.

 

[james t kirk]

So let me get this straight, you leant this chick who owns "a property" 3 grand???

Sorry bud, but what were you thinking?

I know it's easy for me to say, i am not you, and lord only knows i am the worst when it comes to women.

BUT,

Look at it like Welfare Canada....

Do you think they will give you welfare if you own a house?

No, you have to first sell that house and use the money to feed yourself.

Then everything else you own.

This chick owns "a property" which to me implies an investment. If you are behind the 8 ball, you liquidate your assets.

Either she played you, or she is weak and allowed others (the boyfriend) to convince her to scam you.

My advice, forget the lawyer altogether.

That will end up costing you more than 3 grand, will take up your time, your life, and just get you angier at everything (especially women).

Chalk it up to experience, and walk away.

3 grand will not make or break you in the grand scheme of your life.

Let it go.

 

[scubadoo]

A sad story, but it just goes to show a sucker is born every minute. You can probably kiss your money goodbye.


I suggest if you do have a written loan contact ( if you don't forget it ) the cheapest way to go about trying to something back would be small claims court. Would cost you only around $100.00 to file a claim and if the property is in her name a lean would be placed against it til it was sold and you'd get something.

 

[duMaurierguy]

Zar, I would have to agree with Scubadoo. When it comes to matters of the heart and $, in most cases, it ends badly. If you still have a means of contact with this scam artist, let her know that you will pursue to the full extent of the law (via small claims court) and will contact the police to possilby lay charges (sounds like blackmail to me) against the boyfriend? (this should get her going). Hopefully you have something on paper to support your side of this ordeal. If you are able to get a judgement on her, you will be able to place a lein on her home. If not, judgement is filed. If she should ever purchase real estate in the future, she will have to clear this judgement prior to completing any transaction.

It is a good thing that you have posted your experience. Let this be a strong REMINDER to all hobbisits that we need to think with the head on our shoulders! 'Nough said.

 

[Big Daddy]

A sad story

Zar,

It is a sad story. Forget the money and move on. I have had similar experiences (I never paid $3000), but I learnt from these experiences. On the bright side, you are not involved with this woman and you will not see her again.

Bad things happen to good people, it is just life

 

[Sixer]

Zar,

I recall there was a similar case in the paper about two years ago. This woman was a very hot looking scam artist and not a SP. A number of her victims came forward and file a class lawsuit against her and she was convicted. I can’t remember if anyone of her victim got his money back as the sentencing was pending and I didn’t follow it to the end. This woman took you for a ride with your feeling and your trust toward her. Having said that, not all women are alike. There are still many women in this business and elsewhere that are making a honest living.

Thanks for the warning.

 

[zar]

I don't see much point in revealing her since she is now retired (and also had all her post deleted probably to cover her tracks with her boyfriend). I think some of you know who I am talking about.

I do have a written note from her. She doesn't own anything - what she told me were lies. At the time I thought I was helping out a friend. Interestingly, this is the second time that someone swore on her family member and lied to me. I'll never believe that one again. I guess I really should have know she was lying when she told me she saved all her money for her future business and never shopped. There's is not such thing as a woman who doesn't shop!!

 

[scubadoo]

I don't see much point in revealing her since she is now retired (and also had all her post deleted probably to cover her tracks with her boyfriend). I think some of you know who I am talking about.

I do have a written note from her. She doesn't own anything - what she told me were lies. At the time I thought I was helping out a friend. Interestingly, this is the second time that someone swore on her family member and lied to me. I'll never believe that one again. I guess I really should have know she was lying when she told me she saved all her money for her future business and never shopped. There's is not such thing as a woman who doesn't shop!!

Zar, if you have the written note I suggest that you take it to small claims court.

You are right about a woman who doesn't shop etc. The reason I divorced my ex-wife was that she was a shop-o-holic. She ran up three different credits cards to the tune of $55,000.00 before I got her to stop ( this took 4 years ). Then after getting them paid off she continued to spend money like crazy. She claimed that she was buying stuff for the children etc.

I finally had to put my foot down and practically cut her off from having any access to money. I cancelled the joint bank account, cut her loose on the credit cards that were in her own name etc. It was a tough lesson for both myself, my ex and our children. I finally came to the realization that she would never stop and got divorced. Yes, we did try marriage counselling etc. Sometimes you just have to know when to cut your losses.


Needless to say I ( and my lawyer ) keep very close accounts of the child support monies and make sure they are spent on what the money is for. It does cost me for the lawyer to make sure things work smooth, but my children should not pay the price for having a mother who can't spend money properly. She is a lovely woman but I truly believe she just can't help herself.

 

[KBear]

Almost a week later I get a email back from a person identifying himself as an investigator who is going to track me down and tell my wife about everything. I wasn't scared because I'm not attached but was just pissed.

If you took her to court then her and her sleazy bf would have your personal information, or was your personal information on the IOU?

Think that you should consider this a $3000 lesson. Lending $$$ to a SP is not a loan, it is a gift, at least in their and their bf’s eyes. Change your nics/email and move on.

Thanks for sharing your story, it is good to share mistakes so that we all can learn from them.

 

[CyberGoth]

BLEAH BAD TRIP!

been there, done that... [the whole trip and some variations]

if it was me... I'd ensure the evil wench never did anything like that ever again to anyone...

but then, I tend to be utterly ruthless about protecting my interests... the 90s recession kinda made me that way.

if it is in your interests to file suit... go ahead, but consider the relative exposures and benefits to be gained and plan accordingly. but always be EFFECTIVE with a minimum of exposure.

 

[Holden MacNeil]

I am truly sorry that this happened. I am aware of the SP that you are mentioning in this thread. I don't have the right to expose her but you do and I think you should. She is manipulating you and probably a few others as well. Let the readers on this board be aware of who she is before she does this to others.

 

[TJ in the 'Peg]

Expose Her!

How can you be certain she is retired, and isn't scamming others? Perhaps others who cannot afford to lose any money?

TJ

 

[scubadoo]

After your last post about how your wife blew your money...and you have the nerve to call Zar a sucker?

I would tend to agree with you, if was my money, but keep in mind, it was actually "OUR" money that she blew. We both worked and made a good money.

The problem was that her spending got way out of control after our second child was born and it started to go way past would we could afford to spend.

I would say I'm not a sucker because we were married for 7 years up until the she went money crazy. I did what I did ( and still do what I do ) to protect the future for my children. I want them to be able to go to college or university if they wish.

I'm not a sucker just a very concerned father. I don't think any other parent would feel different.

Scuba

 

[Holden MacNeil]

It shouldn't be too hard to figure it out:

Any guesses?

I know! I know! Pick me! Pick me!

 

[gramage]

I think I'll add this to the reasons I don't see SP's, I'm young and dumb enough that I would probably fall for a con similar to this (not 3k though I don't have that for me)

 

[Baddboy]

Suck it up brother! What dosen't kill you makes you stronger
and wiser!

 

[SirTier]

3 grand will not make or break you in the grand scheme of your life.

Agreed ... just 15 dates with Mrs. Palmer instead.

 

[Laura]

Zar

You and I have spoken via e-mail about this many times. My heart still breaks for you knowing that I once also trusted this SP and was betrayed myself.

You do have the promissory note and you have spoken to a Law Clerk and Lawyer about this and you know your legal rights. I don't feel it would be wrong of you to expose her on TERB because for all I know she is still working and seeing past clients because she is not the type of person to stop.

Zar if you don't tell the guys shortly her name I will with your permission.

Laura

 

[sara@select]

I think anyone who has been around onTERB can guess who this is...and I do think you should expose this person if indeed she is making money thru deception!

Sara

 

[Sansabelt]

SN

I remember her last post on TERB and the venom she spewed was quite frightening.

I don't mean to be alarmist but also wanted to say that it may be preferable to just kiss the $$ away rather than contemplating getting redress throught the legal system. Some people react very badly to being sued and respond with "street justice" that a normal person would not even contemplate.

I have a friend who was determined to have his day in court. He did, won, never collected and some years later, occasionally wakes up to find a tire slashed, car scratched, wheel well kicked in, antenna broken, etc. There's not a doubt in his mind as to who's behind it.

He now wishes he had just treated it as a learning experience.

Cheers.

Slackman