I think the OP had problems keeping his hands off her, so a break up conversation would not be wise. Come to think of it, you can't break up with someone that you're not in a relationship with. There's nothing to break up.
SP and friendship
- Thread starter swanky
- Start date
K
Kareena
This is excellent! Are you a relationship psychologist? Found that this hits the mark.
Funny. I think it might go more like this.
Me: I think we need some time away from each other
Her: ok
Me: I was just kidding...sniff sniff will you take me back
Her: only if you help me with ____
Me: Of course. I'm glad we're back together
At least I can laugh about myself.
I'm not really looking for a relationship at this point in my life, and even if I did, there's so much chasm between us that even if she wasn't an SP, there would be zero chance.
It does seem a little cheesy just to end it by saying goodbye, but then there's never a good way to say goodbye to a woman that you've shared a bed with. I somehow think that I can be her fair-weather friend but that's not going to work either.
In the end, I know this has to end and I guess I'm in part dreading the unpleasantness of doing so and the thought of missing her is a big part of that.
So what are the two different value systems at play here? You've alluded to a couple of things but the main thing/problem seems to be that she is a sex worker. And you pay for sex. So how is that different values? You both believe in reducing sex to a financial transaction.
lol Swanky you remind me of a friend of mine... she asked for my advice about a guy she was seeing.... so I did... and she is now with him for 8 years lmao she asks for advice every other month on the same thing but still ends up staying with him. From what i read i get the feeling no matter what anybody says on here you already have it in your mind you are going to ride this one out.
I can tell you will be wishing things were different and you will complain but you will still stick around.So all i can say is good luck and all the best.... hugs
I reread it and thought it was jumbled (even though written with the best intent). I'm no therapist; just a student of human behaviour. I'm fascinated by how people relate, including myself.
I know you're saying it in jest, but if that's a typical conversation...I'd suggest googling "Co-dependency". LOL.
Once you catch feelings, being a casual friend can work, but it's hard. It gets easier over time. But, it really depends on each party being sensitive to the other. Being friends is sometimes harder than being in a committed relationship. (If you're in a relationship, you can probably get away with taking the other person for granted once in a while. If you're friends, you aren't bound to that person and are free to walk away if you don't feel appreciated and valued.)
As for missing her, sure, that will happen. But don't confuse comfort with care.
Take the opportunity to try something new. A new hobby, or to actively meet new people (join Toronto sports clubs!).
Anyhow, you can ask for all the advice you want, and some of what you read on here might even resonate with you. But, I find that most people don't take this stuff to heart. Love is irrational, so facts and figures and statistics and probabilities are rarely persuasive. Many guys think that they are the exception. So, they will have to see for themselves. (Frankly, I can understand that. Any true romantic would have to try, or they couldn't live with themselves not wondering "what if"?)
I'm not sure where you sit. I just know that you're probably in an exciting, but confusing, place.
I wish you the best.
Sort of wondering if the lady in question knows about/uses TERB and has been reading all of this as well as how much she knows about Swanky's use of TERB (does she know if he even knows about it? Uses it? What his screenname is?). Just think of all the insights she is getting on Swanky if she has been reading this and does know that he's her friend.
