Somewhat uncomfortable...Help...

[Annessa]

Re: Annessa...

I wasn't reffering to this particular situation at all; I agree that in this case it's better to be discreet. I meant generally speaking, (incidents like this excluded) it's really no one's business what another's sexual "arrangements" are.

I don't go around advertising it, but in a few instances I've admitted it to people. If they're not comfortable with it, that's their problem.

I totally agree with you.
What 2 consenting adults do sexually (whether it's free or paid for) is no one's business and indeed we are way past the Victorian Age that it's unfortunate that there are still too many people out there that condemn these actions.
Burn that damn 'Scarlet Letter' once and for all!

I was referring to this particular situation because he was looking for some advice and insight into what he should do.



Annessa
Xoxo

 

[drlove]

Tell her the truth

There's been some great advice given in this thread. As others have said, the key is to communicate openly in a manner that will put both parties at ease. Once she realizes that your intentions are good, and that there is no malicious intent on your behalf, things should fall into place.

 

[mtl_guy]

I wasnt necesarily stating my opinion. Rather I was pointing out how society views the "hobby", "hobbyists", and SPs.

Myself, I know that getting a reputation as a "hobbyist" wouldnt be good for my professional or personal life. Everyones situation is different but a guy thats in his early 20s, embarking on a professional white collar career isnt helping himself out by getting a reputation as a hobbyist around the office. Also, most "civillian" women would not be too pleased to know their b/f, fiance, husband, paid for sex with hookers.

What's wrong with paying for it?? I think people in general need to get over themselves and stop being so uptight about everything. You'd think we were still living in the Victorian era.

 

[cnmb]

I wasnt necesarily stating my opinion. Rather I was pointing out how society views the "hobby", "hobbyists", and SPs.

Yes, rules of a society are not equal to the rules in our mind.
Keep the rules in our mind, avoid a harsh conflict with the society rules at the same time.

 

[kwong_1978]

Tell her you have an evil twin brother. That should work.

 

[SucroseFree]

Tell her that you suffer from short-term memory loss and carry polarids of people with notes written on the back.

"I have this condition."...

 

[rama putri]

Well I have to say I thought this thread was going to degenerate. There is hope yet. Annessa has said it best. You are two adults and dealing with it in an adult way is best. In time, you'll both be laughing about this - maybe?

 

[[ALIMEISTER]]

Thanks for the advice everyone. I will definately clear this up with her over lunch.

 

[drlove]

Let us know how it went..

 

[mootza]

My thinking is that you are absolutely full of crap, I don't buy your story. Nope.

 

[ocean976124]

My thinking is that you are absolutely full of crap, I don't buy your story. Nope.

And exactly for what possible reason would he make this up?

 

[rembrandt100]

Most people here seem to think that dinner/ lunch and clear the air is a good thing. At this point I disagree. What if she is not who he thinks she is? What if he is wrong? I'd make the appointment and then just talk if it is her. Totally enjoy the time if it isn't.

Dave

 

[[ALIMEISTER]]

I'm having trouble asking her to have lunch with me. I don't know how to bring it up. I'm still fairly new in the company (has been roughly a little over a month) so i'm not sure if it's wise to do so. She still seems to avoid me as much as possible, and it's starting to annoy me a lot. The other day I walked into the lunch room and saw her in there. I said hi, and walked towards the vending machine to get a coke. I was thinking of asking her out for lunch, but just before I could she faked a phonecall to someone and got up and just left leaving her food behind. I stayed in the lunchroom for a good 20 minutes and went back to work. I'm assuming she faked a phonecall to avoid conversation with me.

Anyways, i've got to do it soon. Gotta find a good time.

Mr. 5 posts, i'm just going to ignore you.

Jenna you gorgeous thing! I'll call you...and you can be my lunch lol.

Dave, I did at one point consider doing that, but I think it may make matters worse and even more uncomfortable.

 

[drlove]

Try the direct approach...

If you feel she is avoiding you on purpose, try walking up to her (preferably when she is alone) and say some thing to the effect of, 'excuse me, could I speak with you for a moment please??", or "I really need to speak with you..." then go from there. The important thing is not to let it go for too long.

 

[cnmb]

try to get her e-mail address, it is not a top secret. Then send her an e-mail.Just invite her to have lunch together without saying anything else.