Something that has been eating at me...so to speak

[Kassidy]

Ever since the KW definition of a "true GFE" came out, I have to admit that it made me concerned. By partaking in this hobby either as a provider or as a hobbiest, we all accept some inherent risks, and hopefully every single one of us does out best to minimize those risks.

Sexually transmitted diseases can be transfered via oral sex, for example chlamydia, syphilis or gonorrhea. Even herpes as be transmitted via oral sex, though, granted the risk of catching HIV from unprotected oral sex is slim.

It worries me that there is now some sort of "pressure" on girls to provide BBBJ, because that will get them the best review, and therefore the best client base. Even though the person requesting the service at that particular juncture in time might be clean, who says the guy before him was, or the guy 10 sessions before this particular person.

It would be nice to think that everyone participating in this hobby is STD free and gets regular testing. But I can't understand why so many men are willing to take that risk. Yes a BBBJ feels better than a CBJ. But we are talking about the possibility of picking something up, and if you are attatched passing it along to someone you care about.

Honestly, I guess I am dissapointed that this pressure is out there. It is something that has made me leery for the last little while, and in a way I am glad that I am retired now, though admittedly, not so happy that it is because I am having kenee surgery *chuckles*.

I think the focus needs to turn back to what is safest, not what feels best. Everyone needs to educate themselves on the risk of any BB activity, and it shouldn't be the deciding factor on whether or not a girl is a "true GFE" wether she is willing or not to risk catching or transmitting and STD via oral sex.

*steps off her soap box*

You can now all return to the regualirly scheduled programing

*kisses*
Kassie

 

[calloway]

It worries me that there is now some sort of "pressure" on girls to provide BBBJ, because that will get them the best review, and therefore the best client base.

I totally disagree with you on this one Kassidy... but can't deny there aren't asshole clients out there that don't try to push this issue. If clients are doing this... they should be outed and posted right here on Terb. It should always be a personal decision by the SP... as well as a personal decision by the client. It's unfortunate that some SP's may feel this way... but I would never provide a "better" review because of this. I know some ladies that provide a superior CBJ... and I've known some ladies that provide a pathetic BBBJ. I'll take the first option anytime.

 

[sorely]

I think the focus needs to turn back to what is safest, not what feels best. Everyone needs to educate themselves on the risk of any BB activity, and it shouldn't be the deciding factor on whether or not a girl is a "true GFE" wether she is willing or not to risk catching or transmitting and STD via oral sex.

Abstinence is your recommendation?

I'm sure not going to cough up $$$ for nothing , or even $ for something close to nothing. I can get good company any time for 0$.

To allow for proper comparisons and reviews it is important to have standard descriptions. We should all know what is meant by "True GFE" and that now includes bbbj,fk, daty and a happy provider.

This description has nothing to do with whatever risks may or may not be involved

 

[CUTTERBUCK]

Hmmm. Methinks this could be a long, drawn out, interesting thread. IMHO there is nothing on this planet like a well executed BBBJ.

 

[luv4lust]

if i may put my 2 cents in nobody can make someone do something they don't want to if they did i'm sure they would make it on to the bcl no offence kass but if girls provide BBBJ, because they think it will get them the best reviews, or and the best client base. they have big probs. i've been an escort for 4 years and not once did i do something so that i could get good reviews or clients. i do what i feel is ok for me and not what others think i should.

 

[sorely]

An unhappy provider never gets a good review , unless it is from a sadist. I enjoy bbbj and all the trimmings , but only when it is volunteered willingly and wantingly(?) by someone who is enjoying what she is doing. You can generally tell when the provider doesn't like her activities ( your dick is limp!).

 

[KBear]

The issue here has nothing to do with the perception that bbbj are unsafe. The issue is that the SPs who provide Safe GFE are not getting as much business as the SPs who provide a True GFE. The pressures on the SPs who are not getting the business, are for the most part, self imposed. If you don’t want to provide bbbj, then don’t, but also don’t complain about the SPs who do provide that service, and don’t try to mask the issue (lost business) with safety issues, and point fingers at the SPs who provide a True GFE and their customers..

The SPs who provide a Safe GFE would like to see that Safe/True GFE definition eliminated, because it is a business killer. They would likely prefer the GFE definition to mean that the customer is treated well, which is very subjective, and would level the playing field.

 

[sorely]

The issue here has nothing to do with the perception that bbbj are unsafe. The pressures on the SPs who are not getting the business, are for the most part, self imposed. If you don’t want to provide bbbj, then don’t, but also don’t complain about the SPs who do provide that service, and don’t try to mask the issue (Lost business) with safety issues.

.

Also don't "not provide" a bbbj if you really want to just because you are so pressured by the "safe sex" lobby. Doing something you don't want to will only lead to serious neuroses. So, if you are not providing bbbj and really want to, please pm me and I will make you feel much better and relieve any growing neuroses

 

[KBear]

Guess you didn't read her entire post then.

Reread her post, what part of her post did I miss? You know that I’m not a SP?

Seems that Sorely and I essentially agree on the issue.

 

[blackman]

In a SP/Client relationship, who actually initiates a BBBJ? As a hobbyist for the last 7 years I have never had the choice...it just happened. The reality is I won't of been put off by the fact that a woman would of wanted to do it covered. If anything I would of respected that for all.

Good topic...keep the discusion going.

 

[luv4lust]

The issue here has nothing to do with the perception that bbbj are unsafe. The issue is that the SPs who provide Safe GFE are not getting as much business as the SPs who provide a True GFE. The pressures on the SPs who are not getting the business, are for the most part, self imposed. If you don’t want to provide bbbj, then don’t, but also don’t complain about the SPs who do provide that service, and don’t try to mask the issue (lost business) with safety issues, and point fingers at the SPs who provide a True GFE and their customers..

i agree 100% good call kbear

 

[KBear]

...who actually initiates a BBBJ? ....

Some SPs just do bbbj, but will do covered if asked, some ask if you would prefer covered/uncovered, some just do covered. Sometimes you have to ask for what you want, maybe even in advance of paying the fee if something is important to you.


WOW, post 1000.... not sure if that is a good thing or not, lol

 

[Aloha]

2 cents

QUOTE[Mariah and Victoria for example have never done BBBJ to my knowledge and they both have a great client base.]QUOTE
And Spice as well. Always covered.
Blackman: I have known you for 3 years and you continued to return over and over. From (nothing)a little to alot. But I was always in control. And that is the way it usually is. She should never feel pressured to do BB.The SP should always be in control. It is her decision to do BBBJ or covered. But from my knowledge most girls I know of take every precaution to be safe. To get great reviews or a solid client base doesn't stem from BB or not. I have always had a solid client base even from the beginning. And it wasn't from extra's. I had alot of rules.

 

[Kassidy]

I agree that it is entirely a girl's choice wether she does or does not provide BBBJ. Do I believe that even a girl who provides CBJ can be a GFE? Yes. I think any client can attest that a girl who provides a BBBJ might have only that going for her. I guess part of my objection is to the wording, that for an SP to be a "true" GFE, she needs to provde that service. if an SP does not does that make her a "fake" GFE? Or does it make her not a GFE at all?

And yes, it touched on the issue of STD's, because, honestly, until I researched it, the thought of acquiring an STD through oral sex was something I really had not considered. We each have our own private lives outside of the industry, and I don't think anyone wants to jeopardize that by doing something that is risky.

Am I saying anyone is right or wrong for providing this service? No. It is a personal choice made by and SP, or a hobbiest, or both parties. I am only expressing my *own* opinions on the matter, people can chose to agree or disagree with what I have to say. I am hardly saying that there are girls who get bad reviews for not providing a BBBJ, but someone new to the business, reading TERB might adopt that misconception, that to get a good review she does need to provide that service.

As some famous person once said "opinions are like assholes, everyone has one"

*kisses*
Kassie

 

[looknround]

to kassidy...

if you have a problem with performing what is pretty much expected, people are "paying" you for services that are relevant......then get another job....its as easy as that...

if you dont like serving hamburgers..then quit the job...
dont like the job, go get another, if you feel its not safe...then your fault for staying and doing it, dont complain about it.

you dont wanna do it..then dont..but dont complain about losing busines or others are stelaing away, or osme are being pressured..thats bullshit

 

[yeet]

We all know the difference between safe and true GFE. Problem is, alot of guys don't respect that difference and label a provider a non-GFE if she doesn't do BBBJ.

Since most escorts do some type of BJ, and most don't mind DATY, the GFE question really boils down to FK.

But, FK is really a YMMV issue with just about any reputable Provider. They're not going to, nor should they have to FK everyone!

And as an aside, if you think the CBJ/BBBJ issue is merely personal choice, then think about the many immigrants who work in this business for agencies/pimps that don't give them any choice in the matter.

Do you really think the Chinese girl or EE girl at the 'typical' crappy agency has any say in the matter?

Even the girls at 'la creme de la creme' probably wouldn't last long if they didn't DFK and bare-back blow every guy that walked in the room.

 

[dsc]

I would like to know who is putting the pressure on the SP? Is it the client or the person running the agency?
In my experiences the SP has always been in control. The client may think otherwise, but that is part of the hobby. Heck, if a client is agressive I am sure the any SP knows what to do.
I have only had one True GFE and that lady asked if it was something I was comfortable with. Afterwards I would say I would prefer the Safe GFE, not because of the level of pleasure but I am not comfortable with the potential risks.
I believe most of the hobbyists using SPs have disposible income with a SO at home. And most are not getting tested for STDs. But I have yet to remember a SP/client situation involving a STD in this area (maybe the long term hobbyists can comment).
There is nothing wrong with the True/Safe GFE label. But client needs to use the big head when making decisions.
My 2 cents.

 

[Doh]

a little zoom-zoom

Perhaps I can put this into perspective through analogy.
Here is the definition of 'analogy' for those immediately think greek...
http://hyperdictionary.com/search.aspx?define=analogy
Not to say our SPs are objects like cars, but guys understand cars better...

If you were driving cars, you might typically go for a run in a Cavalier or Sunfire on the cloth seats without even noticing. (Think of your wife/gf/last one-nighter). However if you had opportunity to drive a Ferrari, or a mint '67 Shelby, you think the seats are gonna be bare? With that kind of quality, most decent guys wouldn't bat an eyelash knowing the cover is there for a good reason, and I'm sure they would enjoy the ride equally whether the cover is there or not. Its all about respect and conservation of rare, beautiful things.

Lets all play safe out there...

 

[Svend]

to kassidy...

if you have a problem with performing what is pretty much expected, people are "paying" you for services that are relevant......then get another job....its as easy as that...

Here's the kind of pressure to change an SP's personal menu that bothers me. We should respect each others limits.

 

[Dugath]

Well my view.. Guys are Pigs lol (Come on guys you know we are ) And most would perfer BBBJ than not. I personlly would actually perfer being "covered". ANd I think it is wrong that a SP would have to feel pressured into performing BBBJ's to increase thier business. In this day and age it is rather stupid to partake in something that can end up giving you something bad or giving her something bad, SP should always try to protect themselves as well.. But I suppose if we were that worried then no one would be doing this Hobby. Its a risk, I usually try to be as carefull as I can.. though sometimes the little head outthinks the big one. This is also why I so rarely ever perform DATY on a SP. I personally think GFE is a over-rated term anyways. Remember she can provide a Girl friend experience, but she is NOT your GF, Wife or anything such. SO you shouldnt expect the same . Just treat them like a lady, enjoy your time, have fun and be safe people