So, why do you guys get married?

[genintoronto]

I read a lot of bitching around here about marriage being the worst nightmare for men, about women tricking you into it and stop giving you blowjobs once they have your ring on their finger, etc.

So my question to you then is: WTF do you get married? If there's nothing in it for you, why???

Jokes about free laundry/cooking/childbearing/childcare labor are inevitable of course, but this is an honest and serious question. If marriage is such a bad deal for men, why do you get in?

 

[Radio_Shack]

The value of marriage could not be more forcefully underlined than it is in verse 24: "For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh." Marriage is the primary relationship of human life on earth husband/wife, not parent/child! Mankind is really a unit, and God ties the marriage bond into that reality. Thus, the male and the female constitute, in marriage, one flesh.

Here one plus one equals one. Adam and Eve could respond to each other because they were alike, and they needed each other because they were different. Neither was complete without the other; two were able to be truly one because they were two! That's matrimonial mathematics.

 

[RTRD]

I didn't think....

I read a lot of bitching around here about marriage being the worst nightmare for men, about women tricking you into it and stop giving you blowjobs once they have your ring on their finger, etc.

So my question to you then is: WTF do you get married? If there's nothing in it for you, why???

Jokes about free laundry/cooking/childbearing/childcare labor are inevitable of course, but this is an honest and serious question. If marriage is such a bad deal for men, why do you get in?

...it was a bad deal. I just was no good at it.

Mind you, I didn't have an ex to take me to the cleaners (in part because I didn't marry the sort of women who would need my financial support), nor have I had any issues regarding custody (because I didn't have a child with a woman who would be that petty). I would say I didn't know wife number two as well as I should have, and yeah, it can get TESTY between us, but nothing on the order of pettiness I have read here. And wife number one and I are still friends.

But to answer your question...

I married the first time because I was in love, and I thought I had met someone I'd want to spend the rest of my life with. Unfortunately, we didn't agree on the kids thing (I wanted one, she didn't...we got married so young that it didn't even come up until we had been married for seven years).

I married the second time because I really did want to start the "American Dream" of a wife and child behind a picket fence...and I felt I was already way behind schedule. Accordingly, I married pretty much the first person who came along that I thought was up to snuff (reasonably educated, sophisticated, financially secure, attractive, and of course attracted to me and willing). She was probably more "in love" with me than I was with her...for her, it was a MASSIVE lifestyle change (she was never married and almost 40 years old....with no intentions of marrying OR ever having kids), while I was "merely" executing a plan (she would later admit that she never wanted or needed to get married and have kids...and that she only did so because she knew there would be no holding on to me without those things). Not to say that I didn't love her...I did...still do. But no way I would have married her without knowing i was going to get a kid, and would have moved on in very short order if I didn't think I would, while she married me essentially to hold on to me.

I would have never became a father without first becoming a husband...and I wanted to be a father REAL BAD. Once that happened...I concede that the allure of marriage started to wear off.

 

[eldoguy]

Religous reasons!
Transfer of wealth, families arranging marriges!
Offspring will know who there parents are, hopefully have there last names!
Women, Men want security and stable lifestyle goals.
Lonelyness!
Society and vocation pressures!
More Sex , ya right!

 

[gramage]

I don't intend to.

I have no religious belief in it (which I think is a major reason people do it consciously or not) and no reason to believe it will make a relationship last (the men in my family average 2 divorces on dad's side.)

The only reason I ever would is if I've fallen in love with a woman who wants to be married. If the choice is an institution I don't believe in or losing the woman I love the answer is obvious.

 

[y2kmark]

Do you ...

believe everything you read on TERB? There are ups and downs in every marriage and a disproportionate number of guys on this board have been burned very badly or never had the ability to handle a committed relationship in the first place. Same old, same old. If I had it all to do over again there are some things I would have done differently, but getting married isn't one of them.

 

[genintoronto]

believe everything you read on TERB? There are ups and downs in every marriage and a disproportionate number of guys on this board have been burned very badly or never had the ability to handle a committed relationship in the first place. Same old, same old. If I had it all to do over again there are some things I would have done differently, but getting married isn't one of them.

Of course I take everything I read here with a grain of salt and consider the context. But this is precisely why I am asking this question here to the married and/or previously married guys: if marriage sounds like such a bad deal for men, why did you get in?

 

[genintoronto]

Marriage is a wonderful institution, if you don't mind being institutionalized.

This is a brilliant quote.

 

[y2kmark]

Who says ...

Of course I take everything I read here with a grain of salt and consider the context. But this is precisely why I am asking this question here to the married and/or previously married guys: if marriage sounds like such a bad deal for men, why did you get in?

it "sounds like" such a bad deal? Maybe if you are hooked up with Bristol Palin, but otherwise it's mostly trash talk from unmarried and divorced guys. Watch the movie "Sweet Home Alabama" the line at the beginning and end of the movie (no way you can miss it) says about all you need to know about being young (or older, for that matter) and in love.

 

[luv4lust]

to replace their mothers lol

 

[genintoronto]

it "sounds like" such a bad deal? Maybe if you are hooked up with Bristol Palin, but otherwise it's mostly trash talk from unmarried and divorced guys. Watch the movie "Sweet Home Alabama" the line at the beginning and end of the movie (no way you can miss it) says about all you need to know about being young (or older, for that matter) and in love.

Well, I do think it sounds like a bad deal, but I'm coming from the other side of the fence

Kidding aside, my question is precisely addressed to those who think that marriage is such a bad deal for men. If that's the case, then why do it? Is it just a case of blinded love?

 

[ROGER O. THORNHILL]

Not mentioned once

Religous reasons!
Transfer of wealth, families arranging marriges!
Offspring will know who there parents are, hopefully have there last names!
Women, Men want security and stable lifestyle goals.
Lonelyness!
Society and vocation pressures!
More Sex , ya right!

LOVE was not mentioned once here. These are all the wrong reasons and therefore the odds are against you you for a successful marriage.

 

[y2kmark]

Well ...

to replace their mothers lol

The MILF hunters, anyway!

 

[DshRipRock]

My marriage is awesome...sorry guys. 21 years and counting.

 

[genintoronto]

My marriage is awesome...sorry guys. 21 years and counting.

Congrats!

 

[mazingerz]

I don't believe of the institution of mariage so never I will be married. This is the best maner to broke the harmony of the couple because we don't need to continue of doing effort.

I don't wan't to be with a women who take the middle of my money that she doing nothing for that when she wan't to quit. After, I should work 100 hours/week for living her since me I can't living decently. I don't get married until the law of the marriage will be changed.

 

[eldoguy]

LOVE was not mentioned once here. These are all the wrong reasons and therefore the odds are against you you for a successful marriage.

Love , okay, yes!
"Forgot No money no honey"!

 

[baci2004]

So my question to you then is: WTF do you get married? If there's nothing in it for you, why???

I think if you look around you will see that marriage has become a lot less popular for lack of a better word than it used to be. I notice this among both men and woman.
Woman seem to be focusing more on careers now than ever and guys are scared shitless of giving away half + of there wealth/assets.

I'm in my late thirties as are most of my male and female friends. I only have a few married friends, the single ones, male and female hardly even talk about it anymore. My tinfoil hat theory screams social engineering but I digress.

For me personally I'm holding out for someone I see fit to make little Baci's. If she comes along great, if not I'll stay single forever.

 

[crystalpalace]

To procreate.

 

[genintoronto]

To procreate.

I wasn't aware you need a marriage license to do that.