Should we objectify sp's ?

sorely

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Sep 10, 2001
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Are sp's objects or are they people ?

Most of the reviews treat the sp like a new car or a set of golf clubs.

Often an sp acts like a rental toy with little, or no, evidence of humanity.

Once in a while you meet a nice toy with a positive human touch.

That's when it's worth repeating.
 

Beau

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Sep 17, 2002
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www.goddesstemple.com
people already do

why ask now?
sp and mpa and dancers are both objects "of desire" and people too, its up to you how you decide to handle yourself and the responsibility you are willing to take in this life. i suppose after feeding a dog a good kick is in order to let them know where they stand in this great world of ours. onward and upward!
 

zog

Friendly Arrogant Bastard
Dec 25, 2002
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Objects or people

SPs, like all other humans, are people.

However, like models, SC dancers, porn stars, and professional wrestlers, the job of SPs is to be objects.

Their job is to be the object of our attraction, desire, lust, longing, pleasure, and satisfaction. This is what we are paying for when we hire them and it is not wrong for us to expect to receive what we are buying.

Don't get me wrong, I don't believe that we buy the person of the SP. We buy a service which involves volluntary objectification within a fixed context, for a fixed period of time, for a fixed fee.

Objects are not what SPs are, it's what they do for a living. Remember that we don't have to be defined by what we do to earn our living!

Some people choose to make their jobs an integral part of what they are and this is OK if that is what they want. Others do our jobs (sometimes very well!) but when the bell rings at the end of the day, we leave the work at the office.

The only good line in one of the Star Trek movies (with the whales) is Captain Kirk's response to the question: "are you from outer space?"

His reply is "I'm from Iowa. I only work in outter space."

The same attitude applies to many people with all kinds of jobs. No doubt it applies to many SPs as well.

Zog.
 
Do we, in fact, objectify SP's? Speak for yourself, sorely - I'm more interested in talking to the ones I meet than I am in speaking with most people in my life who provide me with services.

I don't really give a damn whether my barber is having a bad hair day - and if my accountant commenced a meeting by gushing over a new dance club, we'd get back to the agenda pretty quickly.

If there's one thing that reading this board has taught me, it is that there are all kinds of different people involved in both sides of this hobby. Many have views very different from mine. Some have views I consider repugnant. And some are just preachy.
 

zog

Friendly Arrogant Bastard
Dec 25, 2002
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Accountants get shafted

Midlife,

You don't want to hear about your accountant's social life because you're not paying him to talk to you about it. It's not that his life is uninteresting; heck, he may be a hobbyinst who wants to talk about his lates SP experience!

With an SP, having her tell you alleged details from her (supposedly real) life are part of the illusion of GFE that you are paying for. In this case, the personal talk is part of the object of your fantasy. You're objectifying too, you just seek a different object.

Zog.
 

train

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Jul 29, 2002
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Yeah.....I left public accounting after I began to feel like an object . The last straw was when I found out about about the Best Accountant Review Forum discussion site . I was rated 9 ,1 ,1 , losing serious points for attitude and pencil sharpness .
 

zog

Friendly Arrogant Bastard
Dec 25, 2002
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Feeling Queasy? Must be tax time!

train said:
The last straw was when I found out about about the Best Accountant Review Forum discussion site.
B-A-R-F !!

LMFAO!!!

Zog.
 
Re: Accountants get shafted

zog said:
You're objectifying too, you just seek a different object.
Gee, zog, you're very familiar with the details of my personal life and motivations.
Originally posted by Anya
so many hobbyists say they want someone who "really" likes them or at least what she's doing.
...
Objectification is maybe just a way to protect feelings. So maybe the answer is yes and no. Does any of this make sense?
Yes, all of this makes sense. Some are in the hobby because they've been hurt badly at some point in the past, don't want to get hurt again ... but, human nature being what it is, they're horny anyway. So they're looking for a relatively impersonal experience. There are others on this board who go beyond objectification towards disdain and contempt ... I don't know why anyone would want to have sex with someone he despises, but it takes all kinds.

With respect to the bit about what 'so many hobbyists' want, I suggest considering a 'normal' party. You go to an aquaintance's party, you meet some people for the first time, you meet others whom you see only at your aquaintance's parties twice a year and you engage in chit-chat and have a good time.

Some of these people you speak to casually will be mind-numbingly boring, while others will be a real pleasure to chat with for 20 minutes. You're not obliged to marry the charming woman who told you that great joke. You'll come away from the party with warm feelings about some of those whom you met and having a rueful laugh about your experiences with others. You'll call your friend the next day to thank him for the invitation and you'll tell him that you met Miss X, Mrs. Y and the Z sisters and they really made the party fun for you. Maybe you'll even log in to the Toronto Party Review Board and let your buddies know who you suggest they invite to their parties.

Then sorely and zog will deprecate your objectification of party-goers.
 

train

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Re: objects

Anya said:


To me, it's like a summary of the whole male/female thing - the "male" point of view wants to treat this as a commercial transaction

-Anya

www.classic-anya.ca
While I agree with 99% of what you say , I'm not sure about this one being true for many of us - particularly those over 35 . Once the cash has been paid I think most want to forget about that part of it . That's one of the reasons that the "US style " of SP who has a price for every seperate service is so annoying/unsatisfying .

The difference between the high-end SP and low-end SP is not usually just looks or even service provided but how she makes the client feel.....about himself and about her .

Just my opinion .
 

Diego

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Jan 17, 2003
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Re: Re: objects

train said:

.

The difference between the high-end SP and low-end SP is not usually just looks or even service provided but how she makes the client feel.....about himself and about her .

Just my opinion .
So very true. I want to feel as though I am special, it may be a fantasy but I just cant feel that way when I know I am one of at least 4 other clients that day.

My favorite lady -and she is a lady- I still have to book at least 2 weeks in advance and I've been seeing her for just over a year. But the way I feel for weeks after makes it all worthwhile.

A lingering smile on my face, a wonderful memory of the windowsill, the elevator, the dinner table fun, the restaurant washroom......
 

drlove

Ph.D. in Pussyology
Oct 14, 2001
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The doctor is in
This discussion reminds me of an appointment I once had with a phenomenal woman. No, I'm not just saying that. At the outset, I expected it to be a session like any other. Was I wrong.

I was so intrigued by her personality and outlook on life that we spent the entire time just talking. One thing she said really struck me, and I still think about it to this day:

"When you make an appointment to see someone, you're getting that person."

So true. IMO, what individuals do for a living does not define who they are as people.

It amazes me that some men will go out of their way to actively attempt to dehumanize an SP by making derogatory remarks toward her, groping at her the minute she walks through the door, and basically ordering her around, simply because she happens to be selling sex for money, and they have paid the going rate.

Do they engage in a similar manner of interaction with their lawyer, their accountant, their doctor, their co-workers???

I often wonder if these individuals were to meet a lady who worked as an SP in a non work environment, without knowing she was an SP; I.e. (in the context of her civillian day job) what their estimation and/or reaction to her would be.

Let's try and remember as someone else pointedly stated in a previous post, that we are all human beings, with thoughts, feelings and emotions, and as such, deserving of mutual courtesy and respect.
 

kenyd

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Sep 27, 2002
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Respect...that's all it comes down to.

Let's get back to the original question "Should we objectify SP'S?". Here's a definition I pulled off the web "To present or regard as an object: “Because we have objectified animals, we are able to treat them impersonally” "

Well, if you treat them impersonally, I bet you have alot of bad experiences and of course reviews. If you treat them as people, you'll be amazed at what gems some of these ladies are.

If you think describing in a review based on a number system (8.5, 9.0, etc) is objectifying, I don't think so. You're giving opinion based on your experience, but you're not objectifying THEM. To objectify THEM would probably be more in the roleplay of Sub/Dom/Hum/etc...and then that would be OK if mutually agreed upon. (Personally not my thing).

Anyhow, just my 2 cents.
 

sorely

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IMHO, unless you spend serious time with the sp , it is difficult to see how the relationship can achieve any real emotional depth.

What I believe removes the "mechanical" from the time together, and really makes a session worth while, is john's ability to disappear into fantasyland for an hour or two. That may go for the provider as well.

Just know when to travel back to reality.
 

lizzy

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Aug 23, 2001
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Objectify Sp's

I quite agree with all of you. I don't believe your job defines you-i believe you define you-and if you let them-people define you also-by their opinion of you and what you do. We've all been there-go out on a date with someone...it's just not working out-but we muddle through thinking-why not. At the end of the date-what do we get? Sometimes not even a phone #. I know this sounds kind of like a man's point of view-but being in this business-you hear alot-that is...if you listen to clients.

I believe we should be able to do what we want when we want to do it. The problem is -society makes us feel that what we want to do is wrong. Now i'm not going to objectify a client when i see him....i mean-he is paying me right to provide a service? Is it my right to judge him because he pays for a service as opposed to going out on a date with someone? I don't think so.

I do try to get to know my clients in a genuine way. I like to talk and get their feeling about the whole experience. Of course i am getting paid-but in the end-i want a satisfying experience right? I want the customer smiling-and i want to be smiling also.

When i book on at the agency-and i go on a call-its an adventure-and a fantasy. I have alot of fun meeting people-and talking-and -yes-sometimes living my fantasies.

To objectify someone is to not respect them as a human being-to put someone down because they provide a service or pay for said service. Some clients would rather not know you-some would-some clients are really nice people who just want some company. Who the heck am i to try to justify why they do what they do? I'm there to try and make a guy/girl feel special for an hour or two....who cares how we got there-who cares if we don't know each other very well....who cares where it happens-as long as it happens-and its good-and you have fun.

I would rather do what i like to do and get paid for it-then stumble through life with disatisfaction.....i don't have to justify my life to you-and you shouldn't have to justify your life to me.....live in the moment....:)
 

500miles

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Jan 1, 2003
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The good SPs are honest people! They take your money, sure, but then they give you a really great time. Why would I want to objectify them? I feel that an honest day's (OK, hour's) work deserves honest pay. I think sex for money is one of the more straight forward things men and women do. The good SPs are way better than some of the "regular" women who are too happy to let you wine and dine them and then give you nothing in return.

People who need to objectify SPs are suffering from guilt, so they have to treat the SPs as the source of all things evil. I don't see why that's necessary. SPs make your life simple, headache-free, and enjoyable. Why knock a good thing?
 
Aug 18, 2001
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What does Objectify really mean?

What does Objectify -- or Objectification -- objectively mean? In other words, what does it denote? I could say that a SP that I find Beautiful is the object of my desire. But, of course, she's *way more* than an just an object of my desire. Yet, it doesn't change the fact that she is. If we define Objectification as the object of our desire than we realize that all humans capable of experiencing sexual desire necessarily objectify.

Now, onto the feminist connotation of the word: Objectify. Gloria Steinem, Andrea Dworkin, and various other academic feminists have emotionalized a naturalistic human tendency. They re-define objectify as males seeing females as *just* physical objects for their satisfaction. They blank out the fact that women also see men as sex objects. And they also blank out the fact that women spend hours and lots of money to be considered an object of sexual desire. Moreover, they context drop and set up a false alternative. Many men can -- and do -- see women in a sexual way (objectify) and simultaneously respect them as human beings. Both can exist in the same person. These men also respect the woman's sexual interests to the extent that seeing the woman's sexual joy gives them sexual gratification. I know this because I'm one of them. And, women are also capable of this. We all objectify. :)
 

rdhaired_vixen

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Jun 7, 2002
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hmmm in short

I certainly would like to know that the gents i see were thinking i was worth more than a blow up doll...
 

Goober Mcfly

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Oct 26, 2001
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Those blow up dolls are expensive.

I mean, I've heard those blow up dolls are expensive.

*eye-shift*
 

train

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Don't take up smoking Goober the deminishment in lung capacity may affect the size of the ladies you " heard " about .
 
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