last night my grandmother passed away and naturally, as I was very close to her, I was really upset. When I told my boyfriend he just said sorry and that he'd call me back. so hours went by and i called him again and he said he had dozed off. i was kinda upset that he didn't offer to come by or ask if i'm ok or needed anything, so i told him this and he said "would it matter if he was with me? what's he going to do?" then he said he was going back to bed. now is that insensitive or what? i've been with him for 4 years and i feel if he's like this now he will prove to be of no help/ support in the future. am i being too dramatic or is this guy really just an asshole? are there better guys out there?
should i dump him?
- Thread starter kat19
- Start date
Absolutely no respect for your feelings....if he cared, he'd be there in a flash. Has he ever shown anything like this before?
To answer your question...
If this is the way he acts, I'm wondering why you've been with him for 4 years.... If I was you, I certainly wouldn't put up with that kind of insensitivity. Get rid of him.
If this is the way he acts, I'm wondering why you've been with him for 4 years.... If I was you, I certainly wouldn't put up with that kind of insensitivity. Get rid of him.
I agree with everyone above. Thats a total disregard and lack of respect to your feelings. It should be ova for him.
After four years there's no excuse to be so completely insenstive at such a difficult time for you.
If he loved you - he would have done anything he could to comfort you.
Find yourself someone who will be there for you when you most need him.
(I too am sorry about your loss)
If he loved you - he would have done anything he could to comfort you.
Find yourself someone who will be there for you when you most need him.
(I too am sorry about your loss)
First off, I'm sorry to hear of your loss kat. Losing a loved one is undoubtedly one of the toughest things to go through in life.
Secondly, if a person is "right" for you then IMHO there should never really be any question about it. This fellow should have just been there for you. There are a myriad of things he could have, but clearly did not do for you. To me, his actions (or lack thereof) were inexcusable. Your well being is clearly not top-of-mind for him.
Dump him. He's not good enough to deserve you.
Secondly, if a person is "right" for you then IMHO there should never really be any question about it. This fellow should have just been there for you. There are a myriad of things he could have, but clearly did not do for you. To me, his actions (or lack thereof) were inexcusable. Your well being is clearly not top-of-mind for him.
Dump him. He's not good enough to deserve you.
You need to keep it in perspective. A grandmother in law is a pretty distant concern. If it was your mother/father, then expect some sort of sympathy, but to be honest an in-law grandparent is a great way of saying "Free munchies at a funeral and a paid day off work (not to mention getting loaded the night before and you get to sleep in...Yes!!!)".
Whether a grandparent was an acting parent or not, the fact that they were old and enjoyed a long life, Jeezus, what's the big deal?
If you think that dumping him for this is a justified reason...Then I'm afraid that there may be other reasons you are not mentioning here.
Don't worry about it. Chances are his grandparents will kick off (or some other relative) and if needed, portray the same attitude he has towards the situation then.
Good luck!
Whether a grandparent was an acting parent or not, the fact that they were old and enjoyed a long life, Jeezus, what's the big deal?
If you think that dumping him for this is a justified reason...Then I'm afraid that there may be other reasons you are not mentioning here.
Don't worry about it. Chances are his grandparents will kick off (or some other relative) and if needed, portray the same attitude he has towards the situation then.
Good luck!
And might I add, it's ok to be single as well... no need to jump into another relationship right away. Remember, your personal happiness shouldn't depend on anyone else.Lynn said:
W
WhOiSyOdAdDy?
It does not matter whether or not the boyfriend was close to Kat's grandmother.
What matters is that Kat has suffered the loss of someone she loves.
She needs him and he totally disregarded her need.
Complete lack of sensitivity, concern, and support.
What matters is that Kat has suffered the loss of someone she loves.
She needs him and he totally disregarded her need.
Complete lack of sensitivity, concern, and support.
that's exactly how i was feeling. this same thing happened when i was sad about having to put my dog down, but i excused his insensitivity as the fact that he was not an animal lover. thanks for the condolences. i guess everyone is just confirming what i already knew (but didn't really want to admit).Lynn said:
Ah - I see your point of perspective Ref. Nonetheless, I think that the boyfriend really should have been more supportive. Lynn's post pretty much summarizes how I feel about the situation.
Soudns like you're going through a rough moment in life kat. Have courage! Things will get better.kat19 said:
Good luck to you.
