Sexuality and Disabilitites
- Thread starter Summer
- Start date
Thanks for compliment! And of course, add the blurb! I think that's a great idea... as long as you don't cut and paste mine.
(Actually, based on your posts here, I'll probably be wanting to cut and paste yours...)
I don't know what you're basing this on... you must have an image of a certain disability in your mind, because everyone is different. It depends on your disability which activities will be easier to take part in, and which might need some extra planning/thought/creativity. It's a common misconception that disabled people either aren't sexual or that their interests will be vanilla. Sure, someone might love an awesome blow job but being disabled doesn't mean other more specific desires are off the table. ie: being submissive, dominant, into anal play, having a foot fetish, blah blah blah blah blah.
http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/595894/posts
http://heroescommunity.com/viewthread.php3?TID=3058
Anybody have any comments about granting a dying boy his final wish?
http://heroescommunity.com/viewthread.php3?TID=3058
Anybody have any comments about granting a dying boy his final wish?
A terminally ill and dying cancer patient is not likely to have
any libido. Not even for a teenager. The hospital staff could make
him masturbate first. Grant him the wish only if he manages to
ejaculate.
Yeah, that's the way to go - force him to prove he has the desire to do what he has already asked to do, under the most humiliating circumstances possible, while he is living out his last days. In a complex situation with lots of real issues to think about, you manage to suggest a way to make it even harder, while totally discounting any actual humane response. No other human being in history would agree with this approach. Congrats for this accomplishment.
I can certainly imagine having a similar wish in similar circumstances. To me the "moral" issues are immaterial - he's going to be corrupted? Death will fix that. Any god that would condemn him for this desire isn't a god worth considering.
But I fear the boy was disappointed - as anyone is with these last wishes... no single experience will redeem the suffering of such a life. But it is important to explore drives, even if the lesson turns out to be "that wasn't really what I wanted..."
My first sexual experiences were not at all what I thought they would be, or should be, or could be... so I set out on a journey which I am grateful I am able to continue, at least long enough to unravel some of the mysteries of sexuality. This poor guy doesn't have that chance.
Personally, I don't worry too much about the whole death thing - I just think of it as a big sleep after which I will find myself involved in new adventures. Kinda like an acid trip that actually leads somewhere else. But that's just me.
He wasn't a child. He was 15. Many years ago, he would have been considered to be a man and likely would have started a family already.
Physical and sexual touch is a primal instinct. It's not like he wanted to make it a big thing, or suffer his parents.
I actually admire his courage to speak up about what he wanted, despite the obvious conflict it could have caused.
The main concern I would have is as staggerspool put it. Sex takes practice, and it brings about a lot of feelings that require emotional maturity to handle.
Frankly, I was more disturbed by some of the comments in the Freerepublic link.
Physical and sexual touch is a primal instinct. It's not like he wanted to make it a big thing, or suffer his parents.
I actually admire his courage to speak up about what he wanted, despite the obvious conflict it could have caused.
The main concern I would have is as staggerspool put it. Sex takes practice, and it brings about a lot of feelings that require emotional maturity to handle.
Frankly, I was more disturbed by some of the comments in the Freerepublic link.
I was being harsh. On second thought the hospital staff can just check
for the boy's morning wood. If there is no erection or if it is too soft
the staff will have to bring in SPs experienced in dealing with disabilities
and ED.
I want to add to my reply this post later, but I had to quote Alllison's reply for truth right away (eloquent, well thought-through, informative and with direct reference to the need to work with PSWs) and add the link for the International Professional Surrogate Association (for those who are wondering what sex surrogates actually do).I think you can watch the Scarlett Road documentary for free here: http://www.cbc.ca/player/Shows/ID/2314258771/
I hated The Sessions but Helen Hunt looks great naked. Here is a review of the Sessions by sex workers which is really good... pretty sure it gives away the entire movie so if you haven't seen it then spoiler alert!
This is the actual article the movie was based on: http://thesunmagazine.org/issues/174/on_seeing_a_sex_surrogate
The movie is totally different than the article. Very Hollywood. Did I mentioned Helen Hunt looks great naked?
This is a good book to read, though the very short part about sex work probably won't thrill you.
http://www.comeasyouare.com/shop/product/The-Ultimate-Guide-to-Sex-and-Disability
This shop makes an effort to be accessible:
http://www.comeasyouare.com
http://www.comeasyouare.com/sex-information/sex-and-disability
I've put a little blurb on my site for clients with disabilities. Mainly about me interacting with personal support workers, which I'm fine with. And if they are are unable to discuss sexuality with their PSW I know a great PSW who we can work with instead... if their experience meets the client's needs of course. I think mentioning accessibility information on your website would be helpful for people looking for a provider. Setting up a meeting w/ a sex worker when you have a disability can often require additional planning... so knowing your provider has some knowledge and is reliable is probably going to be reassuring.
