One of the best scenes in the entire movie:
"Is this it? Is this what it's all about, Manny? Eating, Drinking, Fucking, Sucking, [Come on, man] Snorting? Then what? Tell me, then what? You're fifty. You gotta bag for a belly. You got tits, you need a bra; they got hair on 'em. You got a liver, it's got spots on it, and your eatin' dis fucking shit; and you're looking like these rich fucking mummies in here. [Come on, it's not so bad; it could be worse, ya'know?] Is this what it's all about? [Fo'get it] Is this what I work for? Look at that, a junkie. I gotta fucking junkie for a wife. Don't eat nothin', sleeps all day wit dem black chades on. Wakes up with a qualude. [Dont pick on her, man] And who won't fuck me, [come on...] cuz she's in a coma. I can't even have a kid wit'er, Manny. Her womb is so polluted, I can't even have a fucking little baby wit'er!" [Now that's not nice...] / "You son of a bitch! You fuck!"
Notable mentions:
"Now what is your problem, lady? Eh, you gotta problem? You're good looking, you gotta beautiful body, beautiful legs, beautiful face; wit all dese guys in love wit you, mein; only you gotta look in your eye like you haven't been fucked in a year" / "Hey, Jose; who, why, when, and how I fuck is none of your business, okay?" / "Now jou're talking to me, baby; that I like, okay, keep it coming, baby" / "Don't call me baby, I'm not your baby" / "Eh, not yet, you gotta give me some time" / "Even if I were blind, desperate, starved and begging for it on a desert island, you'd be the last thing I'd ever fuck" (Tony & Elvira)
"I told you a long time ago you little fucking monkey not to fuck me!" (Sosa to Tony)
"What about Ernie?" / "You wanna job, Ernie?" / "Hey man, you gotta job!" / "Hey, Tony; Thanks" (Manny, Tony, Chi Chi, Ernie)
"Elvi', I was kidding! I was only kidding!"
"You can't tell me what to do, Tony. No more -- I am not a baby any more. I'll do what I wanna do, I'll see whoever I wanna see, and if I wanna fuck'im, Tony, then I'll fuck'im!" (Gina to Tony)
