Retirement

[Zippythepinhead]

Hello all,

As a fairly recent retiree there is a challenge that I face that, while I was aware that it was fairly typical for retirees, I have not been able to make inroads in addressing it. I had a long career in community/public service. I would like to think that I made, at least, a small difference in the lives of the community and public I served. It was a professionally fulfilling career. Like many, it was filled with "wins" and "losses," great decisions and my share of mistakes and, well, good days and bad days. Now, in retirement, I have none of that. I realize now that many of the challenges, frustrations, mistakes, and losses were part of the fabric of what I did and part of what made the job challenging...and fulfilling. Yes, I do enjoy reflecting on some of my positive accomplishments and contributions. And I certainly don't mind reflecting on the mistakes and bad decisions and asking myself "what the hell was I thinking?" But the challenge is that there is such a gap between the challenges I faced then and the ones I do now. A gap between a daily feeling of "relevance" and the relevance I feel now. A gap between the "purpose" I had then and the purpose I feel now.

I'm wondering if others of you have faced this or something similar? What have you done to help you bridge those gaps, or gaps that you have found in retirement? Of course, one of the wonderful things about our hobby is the chance to, in a sense, feel young(er) again by relating and interacting with beautiful, intelligent young women. But, as you all know, that component of the hobby, or any hobby, is only a small piece (hopefully) of who we are. Thanks for sharing your thoughts

 

[Indiana]

Don’t know what to tell ya Justin.

 

[Robert Mugabe]

On the verge of quitting daily. Only things that hold me back are the paycheque and the acceptance of the finality.

 

[Robert Mugabe]

Don’t know what to tell ya Justin.

He was fired.

 

[Zippythepinhead]

He was fired.

Don’t know what to tell ya Justin.

????

 

[Robert Mugabe]

????

Indiana was making a crack about Justin Trudeau retiring.
I answered that Justin was fired. Not retired.

 

[Robert Mugabe]

Anyway. Tough call. Retiring. In my case. I am emotionally done with my job. Financially not so much. I guess I could frugal my way through, but I don't see retirement as some kind of emotional bliss. More like painful regret. Scared of the emptiness.

 

[bazokajoe]

When I left my job, I truly left it behind. I still do stay in touch with a few people from work.
Get some hobbies(not necessarily this one) to keep your mind occupied.

 

[Zippythepinhead]

Anyway. Tough call. Retiring. In my case. I am emotionally done with my job. Financially not so much. I guess I could frugal my way through, but I don't see retirement as some kind of emotional bliss. More like painful regret. Scared of the emptiness.

Anyway. Tough call. Retiring. In my case. I am emotionally done with my job. Financially not so much. I guess I could frugal my way through, but I don't see retirement as some kind of emotional bliss. More like painful regret. Scared of the emptiness.

Emotional bliss? You’re right…definitely not. I think that’s part of the issue with retirement in general…we think it is a “destination.” It’s not. Just a period of life that is brand new to all that get there. Thanks for the reply

 

[Zippythepinhead]

When I left my job, I truly left it behind. I still do stay in touch with a few people from work.
Get some hobbies(not necessarily this one) to keep your mind occupied.

I think keeping in touch with former colleagues is a great way to stay connected. It has not been easy as all are younger with busy lives. They mean well, but “we should get together” is more of just a nice sentiment

 

[bazokajoe]

Emotional bliss? You’re right…definitely not. I think that’s part of the issue with retirement in general…we think it is a “destination.” It’s not. Just a period of life that is brand new to all that get there. Thanks for the reply

Not to sound harsh but was your retirement mandatory or voluntary?
If it was voluntary why did you leave? Didn't you think about life after retirement?
People bitch about being bored in retirement but I don't get that. Retirement planning should start about 5 years before you go. I don't mean financially but more like "what will I do with all the free time?" Do I really want to go?

I have no regrets about leaving the work force. Some people do regret it.
I have a friend who retired a few months before me. He loves golf. So he got a job at a golf course. Seasonal work, collects EI in winter. He loves it. Plus gets free golf.
Find another job if retirement isn't for you.

 

[Zippythepinhead]

Fair question…not harsh at all. Voluntary. My “mistake” was planning only the financial component. That is the easy part as it is a math problem. You can either afford to retire or you cannot. The thing is, it isn’t really a matter of how much money you have…it is a question of do you have enough to live the life you want and works for you? You’re right….if you think about the non-financial components of retirement in advance, you are better prepared for all of the freed up time. Me? I guess I just thought that activities that I wanted to engage in would just reveal themselves to me. Some have. But things like being relevant as we age and having a purpose have proved more challenging

 

[bazokajoe]

Fair question…not harsh at all. Voluntary. My “mistake” was planning only the financial component. That is the easy part as it is a math problem. You can either afford to retire or you cannot. The thing is, it isn’t really a matter of how much money you have…it is a question of do you have enough to live the life you want and works for you? You’re right….if you think about the non-financial components of retirement in advance, you are better prepared for all of the freed up time. Me? I guess I just thought that activities that I wanted to engage in would just reveal themselves to me. Some have. But things like being relevant as we age and having a purpose have proved more challenging

OK I understand.
All I can say is the hobbies I had before retirement have continued into retirement. That has made the transition much easier for me.
Everyone is different and I hope you find your way.
Retirement can be a good chapter in your life.

 

[unassuming]

Become a “Fred Garvin”, good pay, fulfilling fantasies of bored housewives

 

[bazokajoe]

Become a “Fred Garvin”, good pay, fulfilling fantasies of bored housewives

 

[silentkisser]

Hello all,

As a fairly recent retiree there is a challenge that I face that, while I was aware that it was fairly typical for retirees, I have not been able to make inroads in addressing it. I had a long career in community/public service. I would like to think that I made, at least, a small difference in the lives of the community and public I served. It was a professionally fulfilling career. Like many, it was filled with "wins" and "losses," great decisions and my share of mistakes and, well, good days and bad days. Now, in retirement, I have none of that. I realize now that many of the challenges, frustrations, mistakes, and losses were part of the fabric of what I did and part of what made the job challenging...and fulfilling. Yes, I do enjoy reflecting on some of my positive accomplishments and contributions. And I certainly don't mind reflecting on the mistakes and bad decisions and asking myself "what the hell was I thinking?" But the challenge is that there is such a gap between the challenges I faced then and the ones I do now. A gap between a daily feeling of "relevance" and the relevance I feel now. A gap between the "purpose" I had then and the purpose I feel now.

I'm wondering if others of you have faced this or something similar? What have you done to help you bridge those gaps, or gaps that you have found in retirement? Of course, one of the wonderful things about our hobby is the chance to, in a sense, feel young(er) again by relating and interacting with beautiful, intelligent young women. But, as you all know, that component of the hobby, or any hobby, is only a small piece (hopefully) of who we are. Thanks for sharing your thoughts

It sounds like you miss the day-to-day interaction with people, and the "respect" or "status" your job had. What I mean about that is that so many of us become our jobs. I mean, you could see yourself as an accountant, but once you retire, what are you? There are a few of things you can do, if you want.

• Volunteer with a charity: Depending on your background, you could use your skills to help the charity or not-for-profit. Most could always use help with things like drives or campaigns, even just answering the phone.
• Get a part-time job: My father did this when he retired and grew bored. It could be as simple as being a Walmart greeter (if they still do that...), or doing product demonstrations at Costco. It will give you an opportunity to get out of the house and meet/interact with people. On the plus side, it could give you income to continue this hobby.
• Get another hobby: Maybe you have an interest in playing golf, restoring card or collecting hockey cards. You can meet people with similar interests and get that human interaction. Maybe you want to play cards (like Gin or Euchre), you can check out your local community centre to see if they offer senior drop ins or things like that. Again, another way to meet new people and interact with those your own age.
• Get a pet: Not only do they provide companionship, but they also make you feel needed. Plus, they usually give you unconditional love.

There are probably other things you can do. I saw in Australia that there is a paid job that reviews brothels, and is usually filled by retired men. Sadly, that career path is not available here in Canada....

 

[Zippythepinhead]

It sounds like you miss the day-to-day interaction with people, and the "respect" or "status" your job had. What I mean about that is that so many of us become our jobs. I mean, you could see yourself as an accountant, but once you retire, what are you? There are a few of things you can do, if you want.

• Volunteer with a charity: Depending on your background, you could use your skills to help the charity or not-for-profit. Most could always use help with things like drives or campaigns, even just answering the phone.
• Get a part-time job: My father did this when he retired and grew bored. It could be as simple as being a Walmart greeter (if they still do that...), or doing product demonstrations at Costco. It will give you an opportunity to get out of the house and meet/interact with people. On the plus side, it could give you income to continue this hobby.
• Get another hobby: Maybe you have an interest in playing golf, restoring card or collecting hockey cards. You can meet people with similar interests and get that human interaction. Maybe you want to play cards (like Gin or Euchre), you can check out your local community centre to see if they offer senior drop ins or things like that. Again, another way to meet new people and interact with those your own age.
• Get a pet: Not only do they provide companionship, but they also make you feel needed. Plus, they usually give you unconditional love.

There are probably other things you can do. I saw in Australia that there is a paid job that reviews brothels, and is usually filled by retired men. Sadly, that career path is not available here in Canada....

A lot of what you write and suggest addresses my issues…thanks for the post. It’s funny, if I’m honest I do miss the respect that I got as it made me feel relevant. But I also received vocal criticism which, I think I oddly miss a bit as well. For one, in my job, ruffling the right feathers/angering the “right” people is a sign of effectiveness…as no one in my position should ever be liked by all as it was the nature of the types of decisions my job required. But, also to your point…negative interactions are, nonetheless, interactions with others. Thanks for the reply

 

[silentkisser]

A lot of what you write and suggest addresses my issues…thanks for the post. It’s funny, if I’m honest I do miss the respect that I got as it made me feel relevant. But I also received vocal criticism which, I think I oddly miss a bit as well. For one, in my job, ruffling the right feathers/angering the “right” people is a sign of effectiveness…as no one one in my position should ever be liked by all as it was the nature of the types of decisions my job required. But, also to your point…negative interactions are, nonetheless, interactions with others. Thanks for the reply

I hope you find something. As I said, our jobs become part of our identity. This is something nobody tells you about retirement. Actually, there is a lot nobody tells you about retirement, including the challenges of living on your savings and entitlements.

Good luck!

 

[opieshuffle]

You're looking for "the reason to get out of bed everyday". I'm not retired, but was off for 18 months. Not feeling "needed". Not feeling like I was accomplishing anything. Luckily I landed something that gives me all that back. But it opened my eyes to what MY retirement might look like and I wasn't ready.

Sounds like you're "not ready".

So as others have mentioned, do things that give you back that reason to get out of bed: be it volunteering or taking a part-time gig. (I've contemplated going back to a "service job" like I did in college in retirement with no-stress.) Mentor. Build something you always wanted to, that requires planning. That requires collaboration with others. That requires interaction. Even if it's only on forums with like-minded people. Find the thing that gets you out of bed and looking forward to it.

 

[MadGeek]

My father who passed a decade back told me you need 4 things in retirement:

1) Something to keep your mind active and sharpe.
2) Something to keep you social
3) Something to do that is creative and fun
4) Something to keep you active.

The four can be met with one thing or separate things but each person will need a balance of the four suitable to themselves.

My father was an active angler - ocean, streams, mountain lakes etc... He participated in both hunting and fishing clubs as well as volunteering at hatcheries. He also helped organize neighborhood events - fundraising BBQs, potluck dinners etc. And, them during the winter he spent his time building R/C planes, some kit based, others his own crazy designs. As for being active: he hiked, chopped wood, helped clean up beaches etc....