> 2004 REPUBLICAN NATIONAL CONVENTION
> New York, NY
>
> SCHEDULE OF EVENTS
> 6:00 PM Opening Prayer led by the Reverend Jerry
> Falwell: "Satan's Plan To Tax The Rich"
> 6:15 PM Pledge of Allegiance (US)
> 6:17 PM Pledge of Allegiance (Saudi)
> 6:20 PM Burning of the Bill of Rights (excluding 2nd
> Amendment)
> 6:30 PM Salute to the Coalition of the Willing
> 6:31 PM Special tribute and thanks to The Supreme
> Court for 1st term
> 6:35 PM Seminar #1: "Get Your Kid a Military
> Deferment"
> 7:00 PM EPA Address: "Trees: The Real Cause of
> Forest Fires"
> 7:30 PM Round table discussion on which former US
> puppet regime's country to invade next
> 7:50 PM Entertainment Break: Hillary Clinton Dart
> Board Competition
> 8:00 PM George W. Bush Demonstration of Trademark
> "Deer In Headlights" Stare
> 8:15 PM Keynote Speech, Pat Robertson: "Was FDR The
> Antichrist?"
> 8:30 PM Keynote Speech, John Ashcroft: "Gay Atheists
> Will Eat Your Children" and "How To Lose An Election
> To A Dead Guy"
> 8:45 PM Keynote Speech, Rush Limbaugh: "Attila The
> Hun: The First Bleeding-Heart Liberal"
> 8:46 PM Call EMTs to revive Rush Limbaugh
> 8:47 PM Translation of slurred Limbaugh speech
> 8:50 PM Entertainment Break: Michael Moore Piñata
> 9:00 PM Bush Address: "Armageddon: Let's Fulfill
> Bible Prophecy NOW"
> 9:15 PM (Time allotted for Bush to refute
> inaccuracies, misinformation, and untruths in 9:00
> PM address)
> 9:30 PM Cheny Address: "Corporations: Your
> Government of the Future"
> 9:40 PM Donald Rumsfeld: "A Demonstration of
> Squinting, Talking Macho, and Rationalizing Torture"
> 9:45 PM Gratuitously fill the stage with NYC
> firefighters and police officers for no apparent
> reason other to deflect attention from the endless
> parade of untruths up to this point
> 9:49 PM Clarence Thomas reads complete list of black
> Republicans
> 9:50 PM Entertainment Break: Condoleeza Rice sings
> "Can't Help Lovin' That Man"
> 10:00 PM Round Table Discussion on Reproductive
> Rights (MEN ONLY)
> 10:30 PM Seminar #3: "Education: A Drain On Our
> Nation's Economy"
> 10:45 PM Laura Bush serves milk and cookies
> 10:50 PM Entertainment Break: Clinton-Blaming
> Competition
> 10:59 PM Revive Rush Limbaugh again
> 11:00 PM Official Nomination of George W. Bush by
> Jesus Christ (subject to availability)
> 11:05 PM - ? Secret meetings with Saudis
> New York, NY
>
> SCHEDULE OF EVENTS
> 6:00 PM Opening Prayer led by the Reverend Jerry
> Falwell: "Satan's Plan To Tax The Rich"
> 6:15 PM Pledge of Allegiance (US)
> 6:17 PM Pledge of Allegiance (Saudi)
> 6:20 PM Burning of the Bill of Rights (excluding 2nd
> Amendment)
> 6:30 PM Salute to the Coalition of the Willing
> 6:31 PM Special tribute and thanks to The Supreme
> Court for 1st term
> 6:35 PM Seminar #1: "Get Your Kid a Military
> Deferment"
> 7:00 PM EPA Address: "Trees: The Real Cause of
> Forest Fires"
> 7:30 PM Round table discussion on which former US
> puppet regime's country to invade next
> 7:50 PM Entertainment Break: Hillary Clinton Dart
> Board Competition
> 8:00 PM George W. Bush Demonstration of Trademark
> "Deer In Headlights" Stare
> 8:15 PM Keynote Speech, Pat Robertson: "Was FDR The
> Antichrist?"
> 8:30 PM Keynote Speech, John Ashcroft: "Gay Atheists
> Will Eat Your Children" and "How To Lose An Election
> To A Dead Guy"
> 8:45 PM Keynote Speech, Rush Limbaugh: "Attila The
> Hun: The First Bleeding-Heart Liberal"
> 8:46 PM Call EMTs to revive Rush Limbaugh
> 8:47 PM Translation of slurred Limbaugh speech
> 8:50 PM Entertainment Break: Michael Moore Piñata
> 9:00 PM Bush Address: "Armageddon: Let's Fulfill
> Bible Prophecy NOW"
> 9:15 PM (Time allotted for Bush to refute
> inaccuracies, misinformation, and untruths in 9:00
> PM address)
> 9:30 PM Cheny Address: "Corporations: Your
> Government of the Future"
> 9:40 PM Donald Rumsfeld: "A Demonstration of
> Squinting, Talking Macho, and Rationalizing Torture"
> 9:45 PM Gratuitously fill the stage with NYC
> firefighters and police officers for no apparent
> reason other to deflect attention from the endless
> parade of untruths up to this point
> 9:49 PM Clarence Thomas reads complete list of black
> Republicans
> 9:50 PM Entertainment Break: Condoleeza Rice sings
> "Can't Help Lovin' That Man"
> 10:00 PM Round Table Discussion on Reproductive
> Rights (MEN ONLY)
> 10:30 PM Seminar #3: "Education: A Drain On Our
> Nation's Economy"
> 10:45 PM Laura Bush serves milk and cookies
> 10:50 PM Entertainment Break: Clinton-Blaming
> Competition
> 10:59 PM Revive Rush Limbaugh again
> 11:00 PM Official Nomination of George W. Bush by
> Jesus Christ (subject to availability)
> 11:05 PM - ? Secret meetings with Saudis
