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Remembering Rodney Dangerfield

S

Shades

Shades of .....
Feb 8, 2002
2,993
2
38
Why we miss Rodney Dangerfield ..........

Because he said things like.....


My wife only has sex with me for a purpose Last night she used me to time a soft-boiled egg.
***
It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won't drink from my glass!
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Last night my wife met me at the front door. She was wearing a sexy negligee. The only problem was, she was coming home.
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A girl phoned me and said, 'Come on over. There 's nobody home.' I went over. Nobody was home!
**
A hooker once told me she had a headache.
**
I went to a massage parlor. It was self-service.
**
If it weren't for pickpockets, I'd have no sex life at all.
**
I was making love to this girl and she started crying I said, 'Are you going to hate yourself in the morning?' She said, 'No, I hate myself now.
**
I knew a girl so ugly that she was known as a two-bagger. That's when you put a bag over your own head in case the bag over her head comes off.
**
My wife is such a bad cook, if we leave dental floss in the kitchen the roaches hang themselves.
**
I'm so ugly I stuck my head out the window and got arrested for mooning.
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The other day I came home and a guy was jogging, naked. I asked him, 'Why?' He said, 'Because you came home early.'
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My wife's such a bad cook, the dog begs for Alka-Seltzer.
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I know I'm not sexy. When I put my underwear on I can hear the Fruit-of-the-Loom guys giggling.
**
My wife is such a bad cook, in my house we pray after the meal.
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My wife likes to talk on the phone during sex; she called me from Chicago last night.
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AND MY FAVORITE:

My family was so poor that if I hadn't been born a boy, I wouldn't of had anything to play with.
 
ROTFLMAO, great stuff, had some great chuckles. Thanks for posting. He's a comedic legend as far as I'm concerned.
 
Miss Rodney.
Have to agree with him being a comedic legend.
His movies were pretty funny to....:D
 
My wife is the worst cook in the world, I leave the dental floss out and the roaches hang themselves.
I've got the only dog that begs for Pepto-Bismo.
I don't think meatloaf should glow in the dark.

And my kid is nothing but trouble, the other day he put crazy glue in my Preperation H.
I tried to tell him about the birds and the bees - he told me about my wife and the butcher.
He's going to college now and majoring in fucking up - I just wish his room was as clean as his pot.

This is such a priceless bit I'm reposting it.
Rodney Dangerfield with Sam Kinison.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-DaxfWgn2KY
 
The one I like is funny but gross at the same time.

"When I was a kid we were so poor we couldn't afford tinsel for the Christmas tree. We just waited for grandpa to sneeze."
 
Insidious Von said:
Back to School: Rodney with Adrienne Barbeaux
Click to expand...

That was good. I forgot about that part.
Love the line ...
"Ooo, this one I can't figure out. There's you, there's Georgio, whats with the midget over here"
 
Insidious Von said:
My wife is the worst cook in the world, I leave the dental floss out and the roaches hang themselves.
I've got the only dog that begs for Pepto-Bismo.
I don't think meatloaf should glow in the dark.

And my kid is nothing but trouble, the other day he put crazy glue in my Preperation H.
I tried to tell him about the birds and the bees - he told me about my wife and the butcher.
He's going to college now and majoring in fucking up - I just wish his room was as clean as his pot.

This is such a priceless bit I'm reposting it.
Rodney Dangerfield with Sam Kinison.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-DaxfWgn2KY
Click to expand...
That is priceless. RIP to both of them, they were classic.
 
My fav Rodney Dangerfield and Sam Kinison clip:

BACK TO SCHOOL - Sam Kinison teaches class
 
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