Regular taking me for granted

[ButtMonkey]

Hey Guys, weird query over here...
So I have the feeling one of my regular is starting to take me for granted... And I just dont know how to bring this up to her.

Weve seen each other on a pretty regular schedule for the past couple of years. The encounters were always spectacular and appreciated from both sides. But lately when I show up to meet her shes often not ready. Or place is a mess. Or shes in a pissy mood for X reason. Texting away on some random argument with her friend, etc...
And the next encounter she exceeds all my expectation and all is amazing...

I might be selfish, but this is a ME time, its a money based relationship. I know what I want, and I pay to get it consistently. Right now im getting the real GFE treatment. Amazing sex, and random nagging too. I already have both at home. Im looking for something else here!.
We are all humans, I get it that she may have a bad day once in a while, thats all good. But its starting to be more and more frequent.

You guys experienced this before? How do you bring this up and resolve it?

 

[marshman]

Hi BM
Sorry to hear this (all too familiar) tale. My experience is that eventually these arrangements run their course and die out. My regular SP retired about a year ago, but she kept letting me come over to her place. Then it was less frequent and she couldn't seem to manage her life so that our get togethers were as much fun as they used to be. Part of our enjoyment was the familiarity - we both enjoyed our time together but it was always a business relationship - but when she couldn't manage her own issues and also make time to enjoy our time together, it became more "personal" than I wanted. Eventually we just stopped getting together (it's been about 6 months) but we stay in touch. If the sex is mind blowing (and you're addicted - that opens another can of worms), then ignore the nagging and enjoy. But if you're not happy with her behaviour - tell her and if she can't accept that she needs to change then move on. Life's really too short. Hope this helps.

 

[ButtMonkey]

I guess thats just it... we are past the honeymoon phase, and fallen into routine lol... and the circle goes round.

 

[Respect1]

.

How about just saying .. "" I,m sorry , did I catch you at a bad time ? ,Should I come back later ? "" , put the ball in her court

 

[Bostonmass]

Yep, you've got yourself a girlfriend there, a paid one of sorts.

Every once in a while I disappear from a regular, wait it out like your too busy or something, usually the reunion is spectacular , if it isn't, I usually stop seeing them.

Double edge sword, a good favourite SP should be cherished but exactly what you describe happens.

I sometimes understand why some guys have a no repeat rule.

 

[Celticman]

 

[GlavaMan]

I would agree with what has been said regarding not seeing her. Give it some time and see if her attitude changes. Don't even contact her, for now.

 

[Nesbot]

Not sure what the problem is here unless you're more than a little smitten.

This is a no brainer. Move on.

 

[ElCapitain]

She may be trying to signal to you in a somewhat passive way that she's getting tired of the encounters too, for whatever reason. People sometimes change. Though when you lose a regular who you really click with it does hurt.

 

[Frank Ricard]

It is easy to lose perspective. For us, a special SP/MP can be top of mind and one of a few women we spend intimate time with...but even a relatively low volume SP/MP will see many dozens if not hundreds of different clients in a year. In most cases it cant help but be an asymmetrical relationship.

 

[verboselypithy]

I had similar experiences before. It's easy for us to get attached to SPs sometimes. This is why I don't have any regulars these days. Besides, at the end of the day, variety is the name of the game for us.

If you live in the GTA, you are probably better off not having any regulars as there are so many choices out there. But given the selection in Ottawa, I do hope you find a new regular soon. Who knows, she could be even better.

 

[ButtMonkey]

Thanks for the different perspectives guys.
Im keeping her around not because im attached. Although i do love the familiarity. But because of service level and chemistry in bed.
But as mentionned by Bostonmass, when i let her wait a bit, the reunions are usually spectacular! When is see her too often, thats when she gets "too comfortable".

 

[bsi]

I would be curious about a little feedback from the ladies here. It is a common issue that usually results in the lose/lose outcome of the customer moving on and the lady losing business, also possibly the loss of a bit of a personal connection.

The issue seems to be that as a hobbiest sees a lady multiple times, her attention to him seems to flag, even though the price is the same as the beginning. The hobbiest has choices and often responds by moving on, as many posters here have recommended. But telling a lady, "wow, this place is a mess" or "I don't really want to hear about your ex" probably won't improve things.

I can't think of a graceful way to advise the lady that she will lose my business if things keep sliding. Which is sad because , if they are a regular, there was something in the looks, menu, attitude that kept us coming back.

For me, the most common reason to cut back on a regular is attitude, specifically hearing complaints about their personal life. Although I am a little sympathetic, it is a mood killer to hear about their personal issues. Especially if it impacts the clock. One (former) regular talked until 5 min before the session ended and I was stunned to learn that she considered this on the clock time.

So, bottom line, ladies what is a graceful way of saying that we would like to return to the earlier sessions that got us to repeat in the first place? I bet you would rather know that and keep the regular rather than lose them.

 

[newinottawa]

I have had a similar experience. The mistake I made was calling her out on it
The best thing is just give her less of your business and start giving others your business. You might find a better Sp/ client connection with someone else.

 

[ButtMonkey]

Hey guys, just wanted to give some feedback after several week.
I met with my regular again, after 1 month of no contact. Reuniting encounter was seriously hotter then ever... So I think thats the recipe. She needs to miss me a bit. And it doesnt hurt me either to miss her a bit lol.
So I guess ill see her in October next time! haha

 

[Bostonmass]

Hey guys, just wanted to give some feedback after several week.
I met with my regular again, after 1 month of no contact. Reuniting encounter was seriously hotter then ever... So I think thats the recipe. She needs to miss me a bit. And it doesnt hurt me either to miss her a bit lol.
So I guess ill see her in October next time! haha

To quote the great Thespian Ricky from Trailer Park Boys

"I toada so, I fkn toada so!"

 

[trigger25]

writing is on the wall....i was having a great time with one lady who was more of a mp with alot of extra fun. ...and I guess the last time she started hinting at a tip because things were getting tough etc. Next would have been a loan maybe. Finish it off.

 

[stanley4fun]

I've had a few regulars in my time as well and yes, it seems when they're totally comfortable with you everything changes. They rely on your regular visits and it does become more like an "at home relationship" which is a total buzzkill! I was going to pipe up about taking a break for a month or so as this usually worked for me and did very recently but you too have learned the value of that. Cheers

 

[birddogs]

This is common and has happened with a few regulars I've had.

It starts off great, becomes even better, and then ... well, it gets weird. Like they're bored, self-absorbed, or don't put much effort into things. It's natural that women relax a little after they've seen you several times, but when their interest fades it's a problem because that attitude or feeling comes from within - they're either interested or not, you can't make them value you (even when we're $paying!). I tried the honest chat route with one woman and it was a waste of time. So now, when things get stale, I lengthen the time between visits and see what happens. If that doesn't help, I'm done - no regrets, grateful for the good times we had - because there are so many other women to see. Women, civilians and SW alike, are pretty transparent when they want to see you, so best to move on when they don't.

 

[Bostonmass]

One of my fav regular SPs finally admitted to me she never orgasms during sex, ever!

She can only orgasm after a good 20-30 minutes of masturbating, which I once experienced with her, but all those other times, pushing my head down and screaming during daty, marathon Kama sutra position sex, nope, nada, she just acted all for show, with every single guy she's been with, period.

Now that she told me this juicy bit , getting all close and honest with me, well frankly, I was never so turned off in my life.
What a downer.
I was much happier with her , being in the dark, as it should be.

Been 6 months now, I'm having problems making up excuses to her weekly texts, "what's wrong Hun?"