Recommendation/advice for first time shy guy looking for an SP.

[Nazeem]

I am a long time lurker and first time poster. To give a bit of background, I am 33 years old, never been in a relationship with a woman (yeah, I know), and never been intimate with one either.
From what people tell me, I am not an unattractive guy (probably average looking). I have had girls interested in me from time to time, but my lack of confidence/shyness, especially when it comes to intimacy, has always been my downfall.
I have always thought about finding an SP since I have literally zero experience in the intimacy department. I am not a great conversationalist, but I am clean cut, well groomed and take my profession very seriously (money is not an issue for me).

Who do you fellas recommend for me given my background? I am looking for an SP that is going to be gentle with me and going to take the lead during our time together. I don't want someone who is going to ask me "What do you want, what do you like?" because I have no clue.
Any general advice you could provide, in terms of safety, red flags, are also helpful. It is a new year and this will be a fresh start for me.

 

[Mandalorian]

Maddie for sure.

 

[Nazeem]

Thanks for the advice guys. Really appreciate it!

 

[tbird73]

I am a long time lurker and first time poster. To give a bit of background, I am 33 years old, never been in a relationship with a woman (yeah, I know), and never been intimate with one either.
From what people tell me, I am not an unattractive guy (probably average looking). I have had girls interested in me from time to time, but my lack of confidence/shyness, especially when it comes to intimacy, has always been my downfall.
I have always thought about finding an SP since I have literally zero experience in the intimacy department. I am not a great conversationalist, but I am clean cut, well groomed and take my profession very seriously (money is not an issue for me).

Who do you fellas recommend for me given my background? I am looking for an SP that is going to be gentle with me and going to take the lead during our time together. I don't want someone who is going to ask me "What do you want, what do you like?" because I have no clue.
Any general advice you could provide, in terms of safety, red flags, are also helpful. It is a new year and this will be a fresh start for me.

PE (premature ejaculation) is going to be a problem. If it wasn't for Covid, I'd say start with a few lap dances, find someone not really popular that at least pretends to like you. If you're really that inexperienced they'll probably give you oral for no extra charge (bearing in mind that dancers cost more than SP's). Then after you've tried oral a few times and built up some stamina, book an hour or two with someone in a nice place. Not a car or a in room above a strip club. You might need a male buddy to help you navigate, build confidence, and avoid scammers.

 

[@madelineklaire]

Thanks for the recommendations guys ! My advice would be to communicate your needs to whichever girl you decide to see! COMMUNICATION IS KEY! I think you gents tend to over think experience and pleasing a girl tbh. Whether you’re experienced or not everyone is different. So naturally, whatever the case might be, the more you guys meet and get to know each other the more you’ll know about their turn ons etc.

I think a lot of people have been where you are Naz, one of the best aspects of my occupation is helping people broaden their sexual horizons and explore their sexuality! It’s totally natural, at the end of the day the only thing you need to worry about is HAVING FUN!! I love being able to guide people in this, especially if it’s their first time! A little corruption never hurt anyone am I right!!?

There are plenty amazing providers out there who GENUINELY care about their guests and will ensure a safe space free of judgement ( which never should be the case) where you can freely explore and express yourself xox!! Just be sure to do your research!!

I’m really looking forwards to reading about your future naughty adventures!! Best of luck babe!!

Xo - Maddie

 

[tbird73]

Thanks for the recommendations guys ! My advice would be to communicate your needs to whichever girl you decide to see! COMMUNICATION IS KEY! I think you gents tend to over think experience and pleasing a girl tbh. Whether you’re experienced or not everyone is different. So naturally, whatever the case might be, the more you guys meet and get to know each other the more you’ll know about their turn ons etc.

I think a lot of people have been where you are Naz, one of the best aspects of my occupation is helping people broaden their sexual horizons and explore their sexuality! It’s totally natural, at the end of the day the only thing you need to worry about is HAVING FUN!! I love being able to guide people in this, especially if it’s their first time! A little corruption never hurt anyone am I right!!?

There are plenty amazing providers out there who GENUINELY care about their guests and will ensure a safe space free of judgement ( which never should be the case) where you can freely explore and express yourself xox!! Just be sure to do your research!!

I’m really looking forwards to reading about your future naughty adventures!! Best of luck babe!!

Xo - Maddie

Maybe we need to do some crowdsourcing here, a GoFundMe page for you and Naz?

 

[thedude35]

I am a long time lurker and first time poster. To give a bit of background, I am 33 years old, never been in a relationship with a woman (yeah, I know), and never been intimate with one either.
From what people tell me, I am not an unattractive guy (probably average looking). I have had girls interested in me from time to time, but my lack of confidence/shyness, especially when it comes to intimacy, has always been my downfall.
I have always thought about finding an SP since I have literally zero experience in the intimacy department. I am not a great conversationalist, but I am clean cut, well groomed and take my profession very seriously (money is not an issue for me).

Who do you fellas recommend for me given my background? I am looking for an SP that is going to be gentle with me and going to take the lead during our time together. I don't want someone who is going to ask me "What do you want, what do you like?" because I have no clue.
Any general advice you could provide, in terms of safety, red flags, are also helpful. It is a new year and this will be a fresh start for me.

I'm going to advise not seeing an SP for your first time, but that's just me. If your issue is confidence and inexperience, I'd suggest you gain both through more normal means first. You'll also get a more realistic experience over all, and not just with the sex part. Remember, you're paying someone for their services.

There are probably some great SP's out there who can guide you and help you along, for sure. But it's not "real life".

Try Tinder, and be honest in your profile. Shy and inexperienced does not = pass. You're relatively young, not unattractive, and you have a career. No ex wife, no kids. Pretty sure there are many women out there looking for exactly this lol. Might take a few bad dates to find somebody worth your time (and vice versa) but that's literally how you gain experience in dating and sex.

 

[haplessinquiry]

I would suggest not going for an SP for your first time, but rather go for a massage. Massage can be as interactive or passive as you like. Gives you a bit of flexibility to get comfortable with the situation without feeling too much pressure to perform things like you might have seen on videos. Don't try to be a porn star on your first time out.

 

[MarianneC]

@Nazeem
I would tend to agree with the previous poster. You should go with massage for your first time. It's just an overall more relaxed environment, with lower pressure to perform. When I used to work in this field, you could often tell those who have had less experience at this, and the best thing that they can do is to let someone else do most of the work, while you relax and enjoy. There is a slow build-up, rather than having to do everything from the start.

 

[mwillheim22]

I would go see Maddy for my first time and ask for a hybrid session.

 

[Mandalorian]

Go for a massage and see where it leads. Again, highly recommend someone as sweet and pure as the lady above. Good luck. I kind of envy you. Life was really fun when I was less experienced.

 

[thedude35]

Go for a massage and see where it leads. Again, highly recommend someone as sweet and pure as the lady above. Good luck. I kind of envy you. Life was really fun when I was less experienced.

Yes, this. Find an independent ma and see where it goes. I've had some amazing encounters with a few of these hidden gems and got waaay more than I went for on a few occasions. Organic encounters are much more exciting, imo. At worst, you get a massage and an hj. And if you become a regular (you said money is no object, so... once a week?) it may lead to far more down the road, and in a more natural way, as well.

 

[massman]

In people who have had little or no intimate experience with women I usually discourage SP/MP as a first time, but it sounds like the worry of not having any experience has itself become a barrier to any sort of civilian relationship, since you are well beyond the usual age where people gainuch experiences (no insult, we all experience different facets
of life at different times). I think the recommendations above are good ones. Starting with a well reviewed / regarded MPA first is a good choice, as the focus can be more on you, and less “pressure” for you to perform.

Word of warning tho, once you step into this world and realize you can organize some intimate time at a moment’s notice, it can be very addicting. Real relationships take time, and often a lot of effort to get to the intimate stage. The other problem is that, at least if you see people who are very good at their job, you may be disappointed in the real world comparing “normal girls” to women who are professionals in the erotic arts. Learning to keep the sexwork world and your real world separate is key to avoiding addiction, not falling for a SP and managing expectations of real life relationships. Guys with little relationship- sexual experience are often vulnerable to these pitfalls.

 

[girlsinsocks]

I would definitely book with Maddie. Book her for the massage service and see where it goes from there. If you feel like you can go further than just the massage session, I’m positive that she will accommodate that for you.

She’s an amazing girl and she will make you feel really comfortable being around her. Treat her nicely and she will do the same to you. Enjoy!!

 

[Nazeem]

I'm going to advise not seeing an SP for your first time, but that's just me. If your issue is confidence and inexperience, I'd suggest you gain both through more normal means first. You'll also get a more realistic experience over all, and not just with the sex part. Remember, you're paying someone for their services.

There are probably some great SP's out there who can guide you and help you along, for sure. But it's not "real life".

Try Tinder, and be honest in your profile. Shy and inexperienced does not = pass. You're relatively young, not unattractive, and you have a career. No ex wife, no kids. Pretty sure there are many women out there looking for exactly this lol. Might take a few bad dates to find somebody worth your time (and vice versa) but that's literally how you gain experience in dating and sex.

I have been on a number of dates, (mostly in grad school, but not since I began my career). None of the dates really materialized into an intimate relationship, never anything past maybe a second date. Most of the dates I have landed, have been through friends setting me up. Girls typically agree to go out with me because I have a quieter demeanour, which gives them this "mysterious guy" vibe. Once they start to get to know me, they get bored and take off. I have thought about going to an SP for many years now, but never developed a strong resolve. Now you are making me start to question myself.

 

[tbird73]

I have been on a number of dates, (mostly in grad school, but not since I began my career). None of the dates really materialized into an intimate relationship, never anything past maybe a second date. Most of the dates I have landed, have been through friends setting me up. Girls typically agree to go out with me because I have a quieter demeanour, which gives them this "mysterious guy" vibe. Once they start to get to know me, they get bored and take off. I have thought about going to an SP for many years now, but never developed a strong resolve. Now you are making me start to question myself.

Lots of suggestions here for you to start with an MA. Whether you're paying for it or not it should be that you look at her, she looks at you and winks, and you think this is the one for me. Oldest story in the book.

 

[Nazeem]

In people who have had little or no intimate experience with women I usually discourage SP/MP as a first time, but it sounds like the worry of not having any experience has itself become a barrier to any sort of civilian relationship, since you are well beyond the usual age where people gainuch experiences (no insult, we all experience different facets
of life at different times). I think the recommendations above are good ones. Starting with a well reviewed / regarded MPA first is a good choice, as the focus can be more on you, and less “pressure” for you to perform.

Word of warning tho, once you step into this world and realize you can organize some intimate time at a moment’s notice, it can be very addicting. Real relationships take time, and often a lot of effort to get to the intimate stage. The other problem is that, at least if you see people who are very good at their job, you may be disappointed in the real world comparing “normal girls” to women who are professionals in the erotic arts. Learning to keep the sexwork world and your real world separate is key to avoiding addiction, not falling for a SP and managing expectations of real life relationships. Guys with little relationship- sexual experience are often vulnerable to these pitfalls.

Any advice on how not to get emotionally attached with my first SP/MA experience? I imagine not repeating with the same SP/MA right away if I really enjoy the experience? I dunno thoughts?

 

[thedude35]

Any advice on how not to get emotionally attached with my first SP/MA experience? I imagine not repeating with the same SP/MA right away if I really enjoy the experience? I dunno thoughts?

Just remember that they're providing a service, which you pay for. It's a job like any other, in that it's transactional.

You wouldn't walk into a store, buy something expensive, then expect the store to only ever open for you. Nor would this store want you coming in every day, unless you continue to buy expensive things from them.

This is why you should probably think this over long and hard, first.

 

[westcityside]

Just go see one of the recommended ladies, book her for at least an hour and explain the situation when you book with her. Go see her, remind her about the situation and enjoy. No you wont fall in love, but you'll have great sex. Talk to her about talking to girls, ask for guidance on how to get a little bit of game. Good luck, just go, do it, enjoy and dont forget to ask for some advice from her.

 

[MarianneC]

Any advice on how not to get emotionally attached with my first SP/MA experience? I imagine not repeating with the same SP/MA right away if I really enjoy the experience? I dunno thoughts?

Simple, you're a grown man, you have an aspect of self-control, just use it. There's no problem in liking a service so much that you go back to it over and over again. Just don't think that there is anything more emotionally there than a service. You and your provider could like each other as people, but don't expect more than that. Think with your big head, not your little head.