Rationalizing the hobby
- Thread starter frankcastle
- Start date
Interesting...
...because that is exactly where I do my fishing, with more than satisfactory results.
If ALL you want is wild unattached sex and meaningless casual conversation while working with a limited amount of time and significant sums of money...yes, it is rational.
I want more.
scouser1 said:
...because that is exactly where I do my fishing, with more than satisfactory results.
If ALL you want is wild unattached sex and meaningless casual conversation while working with a limited amount of time and significant sums of money...yes, it is rational.
I want more.
Hard Idle said:
There are, but relatively speaking there arent too many....and just because they tell you they are down doesnt necessarily mean they are telling you the truth. Remember women tend to give sex for love.
...and you lose the variety factor and you'll be back to square one in no time
Well I don't rationalize it, I just do it lol.
I mean, seriously, as someone stated, it's like food....I buy food when I'm hungry, I buy sex when I'm horny. EOS.
Now if I happened to meet someone and developed a relationship with them, my need to hobby would be diminished but I have neither the time, nor inclination at this point to go searching to find someone. For me, it's always been way too much work to search out someone, wine and dine them, and eventually get to the point where you get laid or develope into something more.....Frankly I work pretty hard for a living I don't want to have to work for companionship or sex....
I mean, seriously, as someone stated, it's like food....I buy food when I'm hungry, I buy sex when I'm horny. EOS.
Now if I happened to meet someone and developed a relationship with them, my need to hobby would be diminished but I have neither the time, nor inclination at this point to go searching to find someone. For me, it's always been way too much work to search out someone, wine and dine them, and eventually get to the point where you get laid or develope into something more.....Frankly I work pretty hard for a living I don't want to have to work for companionship or sex....
MLAM said:
are you saying that you have had satisfactory results from sites like Plenty of Fish? I would love to know your secrets, because I have had many more misses than hits, meaning most of the women there I have come across are morbidly obese or are actually physically attractive but so high on themselves, on top of that very few are educated or have actual careers rather than a job to hold them till they get the next $8.00/hr job or a guy they can have as their next meal ticket, I definitely want more but I am finding these sites arent the places to find it.
I'm certainly no expert on dating vehicles, but my thinking is that a free dating site will collect the riff raff, not that there is anything wrong with that. But, don't expect the marketing executive, university professor or Toronto symphony violinist on those sites. If you want to shoot higher you need to either go to high end introduction services or socialize in those circles (Boulevard club, High Park Ski Club, Fundraising events...).scouser1 said:
Response...
Yes
I am told both by the women I have gone out with and others in the "forums" (the message board on POF) that
a) It helps to not be bad looking. I'm not. Not gorgeous...but not bad looking
b) It helps A LOT to have an interesting profile, and to have something interesting to say when you respond to an ad. Words have never been a problem for me (yeah, I know...I know).
In my opinion it also helps to be realistic about who you approach. There is a REASON why you have to pay very attractive women in their 20's to sleep with you. Me, I stick with moderately attractive women closer to my age....and it turns out they are mostly ignored by most men like me, so there isn't much competition. It also turns out they aren't getting laid NEARLY as often as they would like...and curiously enough don't always mind sharing. Plenty of them aren't really looking for serious relationships either...they just want to be treated like a lady (yes, that means a periodic night on the town, though it doesn't necessarily mean expensive) and get laid every so often.
This was all pretty much my experience as well. I dealt with it the following way:
a) Making it fairly clear in my profile what I was looking for. Not rude mind you...but being pretty straight forward regarding not looking for a serious relationship, nor wanting to spend tons of time with someone who wasn't reasonably educated and financially secure.
b) Having ABSOLUTE time lines regarding how long I would chat online with someone before a phone call, how many phone calls before a meeting and how many meetings before sex. This weeded out the time wasters.
Depends on what you personally mean by more, but between POF and meeting women IRL, I am having no issues...I have more options then I have time, frankly...
I still find it interesting that (apparently) so many guys have problems meeting women. I cannot shake the notion that either it is:
a) You guys really think all women are supposed to look like strippers and escorts, and you only approach same (because the women *I* date say they are invisible to most men...and while I freely admit most of them are not 9 or 10's, they are not dogs either...I've seen both strippers in clubs and escorts posting to this site who were less attractive than any woman i have gone out with)or
b) You guys really have no idea how to approach and interact with women.
Most recent examples - this past weekend I am back in my hometown, having lunch at a restaurant (moderately priced chain) with a buddy. Waitress is a cute...not HOT!!!...but cute round-the-way girl, with a sexy ass. I flirt with her...every time she stops by the table, I give her a bit more of the charm. I then ask her when she is going on break...she says she isn't, but she probably would be getting off soon as things were slow with it being a holiday weekend. I ask her when she would be getting off and what plans did she have. She responds that she wasn't sure, but she'd probably check with her manager in about an hour or so since she had just arrived about 30 minutes earlier...and that she really had no plans, but would probably check out the local event / fair that was going on.
Translation: "I am not sure when I will be free, but if you sit here long enough and show you are really interested I will find out, and no, I have nothing planned but why don't you come with me to this fair / event thing so I can chat you up some more and get to know you before I give you my number and / or end up fucking you".
Guaranteed pussy? No...but she seemed to be feeling me. Alas, I was several hundred miles away from (my current) home and traveling with a "friend" already...plus my buddy needed to get to the airport, so I decided against doing something stupid (like fucking up the good thing I have with my "friend" trying to score some more / new pussy behind her back between her museum visits). Instead I just left a nice tip as thanks for her being such a good sport and head out after lunch to race my buddy to the airport.
Another example...a couple weeks ago I am walking up Bay street near Bloor...about 1/2 block south of Bloor...across the street from Bay Bloor Radio / Birks, etc. Out of the Subway sandwich place that is there (next to the condo / apartment building) comes this lovely late 20 something latina girl. A bit chunky for most of you guys(I'd say she had an extra 20 - 25 lbs standing between her and a career as a bikini model), but pretty much my type...womanly body...curves...big soft tits and ass. She stops in the middle of the sidewalk...looks around for a second...sees me...then smiles as I approach. When I get to her, she says " Do you know where I can find a bank machine"?
Now for those who know the location, you know there is a big TD branch right on the corner of Bay and Bloor - she was essentially standing right in front of it, on the Bay side.
My response to her question is a smile...then I comment "you know...information is critical at times, isn't it?". She smiles back...and nods in nervous agreement. I then say "How about we have an information exchange...?". She smiles more and again nervously agrees. I point behind her....she turns around...then begins to laugh. "Ok...ok...I dont' know how I missed that", she responds. She then asks...."So....what information do you need?". Of course at that point I'm supposed to ask her for her phone number...and she appeared to be willing to provide it...but really, I had a meeting to get to, and I really don't care for 20 something's anyway...so I chicken out a bit and instead tell her to not worry about it and that I was just glad to help. Had she been 5 years older though....
Anyway...my point is that there are women all around you who are looking to meet someone. But if you are a) expecting them to all look like super models, or b) expecting that they are going to approach you, or c) expecting to never get rejected...then yeah...paying for it is more logical.
All IMHO...
scouser1 said:
Yes
scouser1 said:
I am told both by the women I have gone out with and others in the "forums" (the message board on POF) that
a) It helps to not be bad looking. I'm not. Not gorgeous...but not bad looking
b) It helps A LOT to have an interesting profile, and to have something interesting to say when you respond to an ad. Words have never been a problem for me (yeah, I know...I know).
In my opinion it also helps to be realistic about who you approach. There is a REASON why you have to pay very attractive women in their 20's to sleep with you. Me, I stick with moderately attractive women closer to my age....and it turns out they are mostly ignored by most men like me, so there isn't much competition. It also turns out they aren't getting laid NEARLY as often as they would like...and curiously enough don't always mind sharing. Plenty of them aren't really looking for serious relationships either...they just want to be treated like a lady (yes, that means a periodic night on the town, though it doesn't necessarily mean expensive) and get laid every so often.
scouser1 said:
This was all pretty much my experience as well. I dealt with it the following way:
a) Making it fairly clear in my profile what I was looking for. Not rude mind you...but being pretty straight forward regarding not looking for a serious relationship, nor wanting to spend tons of time with someone who wasn't reasonably educated and financially secure.
b) Having ABSOLUTE time lines regarding how long I would chat online with someone before a phone call, how many phone calls before a meeting and how many meetings before sex. This weeded out the time wasters.
scouser1 said:
Depends on what you personally mean by more, but between POF and meeting women IRL, I am having no issues...I have more options then I have time, frankly...
I still find it interesting that (apparently) so many guys have problems meeting women. I cannot shake the notion that either it is:
a) You guys really think all women are supposed to look like strippers and escorts, and you only approach same (because the women *I* date say they are invisible to most men...and while I freely admit most of them are not 9 or 10's, they are not dogs either...I've seen both strippers in clubs and escorts posting to this site who were less attractive than any woman i have gone out with)or
b) You guys really have no idea how to approach and interact with women.
Most recent examples - this past weekend I am back in my hometown, having lunch at a restaurant (moderately priced chain) with a buddy. Waitress is a cute...not HOT!!!...but cute round-the-way girl, with a sexy ass. I flirt with her...every time she stops by the table, I give her a bit more of the charm. I then ask her when she is going on break...she says she isn't, but she probably would be getting off soon as things were slow with it being a holiday weekend. I ask her when she would be getting off and what plans did she have. She responds that she wasn't sure, but she'd probably check with her manager in about an hour or so since she had just arrived about 30 minutes earlier...and that she really had no plans, but would probably check out the local event / fair that was going on.
Translation: "I am not sure when I will be free, but if you sit here long enough and show you are really interested I will find out, and no, I have nothing planned but why don't you come with me to this fair / event thing so I can chat you up some more and get to know you before I give you my number and / or end up fucking you".
Guaranteed pussy? No...but she seemed to be feeling me. Alas, I was several hundred miles away from (my current) home and traveling with a "friend" already...plus my buddy needed to get to the airport, so I decided against doing something stupid (like fucking up the good thing I have with my "friend" trying to score some more / new pussy behind her back between her museum visits). Instead I just left a nice tip as thanks for her being such a good sport and head out after lunch to race my buddy to the airport.
Another example...a couple weeks ago I am walking up Bay street near Bloor...about 1/2 block south of Bloor...across the street from Bay Bloor Radio / Birks, etc. Out of the Subway sandwich place that is there (next to the condo / apartment building) comes this lovely late 20 something latina girl. A bit chunky for most of you guys(I'd say she had an extra 20 - 25 lbs standing between her and a career as a bikini model), but pretty much my type...womanly body...curves...big soft tits and ass. She stops in the middle of the sidewalk...looks around for a second...sees me...then smiles as I approach. When I get to her, she says " Do you know where I can find a bank machine"?
Now for those who know the location, you know there is a big TD branch right on the corner of Bay and Bloor - she was essentially standing right in front of it, on the Bay side.
My response to her question is a smile...then I comment "you know...information is critical at times, isn't it?". She smiles back...and nods in nervous agreement. I then say "How about we have an information exchange...?". She smiles more and again nervously agrees. I point behind her....she turns around...then begins to laugh. "Ok...ok...I dont' know how I missed that", she responds. She then asks...."So....what information do you need?". Of course at that point I'm supposed to ask her for her phone number...and she appeared to be willing to provide it...but really, I had a meeting to get to, and I really don't care for 20 something's anyway...so I chicken out a bit and instead tell her to not worry about it and that I was just glad to help. Had she been 5 years older though....
Anyway...my point is that there are women all around you who are looking to meet someone. But if you are a) expecting them to all look like super models, or b) expecting that they are going to approach you, or c) expecting to never get rejected...then yeah...paying for it is more logical.
All IMHO...
scouser1 said:
This is so selfish! Why shouldn't you suffer like the rest of us? Suffering is good for the soul and makes one a better person.
Dr. Know said:
These situations occur more often in "mature" marriages than one would like to think. Dr. Know, you have sexual needs that are not being satisfied by your wife. You have the basic human right to satisfy that need with another consenting adult instead of placing impossible demands on your wife. Heaven has reserved a place for a sensitive soul such as yourself.
