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Rationalizing the hobby

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frankcastle

Well-known member
Feb 4, 2003
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We all pay for it....
I'm too busy....
I'm getting something my SO won't give me.....
Easier than divorce.....
It's cheaper.....
Etc...

The truth or just what we tell ourselves.
 
IMHO, the reality of the matter, for most regular guys, is this:

You got 2 choices at the extreme ends:

1) You get your clone from eHarmony. She won't turn any heads and will probably only be good for a few home runs, but you'll get the love and companionship.

2) See SPs. You'll get your jollies, but your off-time, which will be a lot, will be full of loneliness and emptiness.

A lot of married guys have 1 and mix with 2. That's fine, if your wife doesn't mind. Otherwise, you're playing with fire.
 
Interesting two extremes I've definitely been on both ends of it. After a while the loneliness definitely got to me. But that's not to say I turned to someone just for companionship.

Interesting take on things though and I think you nailed something on the head there which is eventually guys have to turn to what they are comfortable with.

Nice work ig 88 and very diplomatic.
 
I' don't get the "loneliness' thing. Why not just have women as good friends / soulmates while getting your jollies either through the hobby or disposable casual sex (if you're cut out to score regularly in that arena)?

There are plenty of women who'd love to have male friends without worrying about them using the friendship as a path to sex. I had a female coworker who's been rooming with gay guys for the past couple of years partly for this reason.

You can still also do regular dating, but be open about your sexual needs and habits - if not specifically mentioning the hobby, at least make clear that you are very promiscuous in no hurry to change - there are women who'll still date and fuck guys knowing this.
 
Hard Idle said:
I' don't get the "loneliness' thing. Why not just have women as good friends / soulmates while getting your jollies either through the hobby or disposable casual sex (if you're cut out to score regularly in that arena)?

There are plenty of women who'd love to have male friends without worrying about them using the friendship as a path to sex. I had a female coworker who's been rooming with gay guys for the past couple of years partly for this reason.

You can still also do regular dating, but be open about your sexual needs and habits - if not specifically mentioning the hobby, at least make clear that you are very promiscuous in no hurry to change - there are women who'll still date and fuck guys knowing this.
Click to expand...
How many such women have you found.
 
frankcastle said:
We all pay for it....
I'm too busy....
I'm getting something my SO won't give me.....
Easier than divorce.....
It's cheaper.....
Etc...

The truth or just what we tell ourselves.
Click to expand...
You only need to rationalize it if you feel guilty.
I have always kept love and sex separate and never had problem with this approach.
 
alex52 said:
How many such women have you found.
Click to expand...

Lots.
Originally Posted by Hard Idle
There are plenty of women who'd love to have male friends without worrying about them using the friendship as a path to sex.
Click to expand...
...More of these than I need LOL! Some are attached, one is asexual, and the others just wouldn't want sex with me....

if not specifically mentioning the hobby, at least make clear that you are very promiscuous in no hurry to change - there are women who'll still date and fuck guys knowing this.
Click to expand...
Unfortuantely I'm not getting any of them - but guys whoa are better catches than me certainly are - of course it's a two-way street - the guys also have to accept that these women aren't alway angels either...
 
frankcastle said:
We all pay for it....
I'm too busy....
I'm getting something my SO won't give me.....
Easier than divorce.....
It's cheaper.....
Etc...

The truth or just what we tell ourselves.
Click to expand...

You're only rationalizing things if the experience no longer holds value for you, or you've hit a cross-roads of sorts, and feel that the experience no longer delivers what you've taken from it in the past. Like anything that you purchase, the value only rests within your own ability to believe that it's there.
 
My rationales:

It's convenient.
It feels good.
It's dirty.
 
frankcastle said:
Easier than divorce.....
It's cheaper.....
Click to expand...

If you love your SO and she finds out, you'll likely lose your family, your best friend and half of your earnings through divorce proceedings. Just a caveat to us all, we all will grow old at some point and a best friend/lover/SO will make our inevitability more rewarding. I've lost mine recently and can say it is my loss completely.
 
On the friendship instead of marriage thing...

While it may sound superficially true you know it's really not. Marriage is much more of a partnership than a friendship, although it should be a friendship. I don't know that it can be explained, it's probably deeply evolutionarily instinctual, but you form a different kind of bond with the woman you're living and sleeping with than the one you just go out to dinner with as friends, or the one that you are fucking for fun.

Neither SP's nor female friends replace what you get out of a long term relationship.
 
from a single male point of view, spend sometime wasting endless hours on dating sites like Plenty of Fish and the like, meeting up and going out with losers and users and then try to tell me this hobby isnt rational, at least here I am pretty much guaranteed wild unattached sex with a nice casual conversation.
 
Because I can. That is why.

I eat because I can. I pay for food, what's the difference. Both feel good and both leave you satisfied unless you are eating the greasiest, cheapest slop you can find...
 
I don't need to rationalize. It's not illegal. No one else at all attractive will even get close to me. If I ask someone out, they get very embarrassed or very scared or both. I've given up trying.
I just wish I had the money you guys have.
 
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