You don't have to list all jobs in the same manner. You can focus on relevant jobs for their relevance, and on other jobs for how they rounded out your experience. For example, you might list the chronological range, and rather than listing the employers first, list it as something like "Social Employment (Wal-Mart, MacDonalds, J-Crew)", to focus on what aspects of those roles are applicable to the position you're applying for. Maybe interpersonal skills, business / retail life skills, or some other aspect that you can find applicable to the job of interest.
Prospective employers will view gaps in resumes as red flags, but if the gaps are covered they can easily become a positive (or perhaps neutral), if you can show that you learned something relevant from that time. It should be a much thinner paragraph than other, more relevant intervals. And keep in mind that relevance can include a deeper practical understanding of how kids act outside of school, too. (Although I wouldn't overstress it, as some school principals might not agree.)
Remember, the resume is about getting you the interview; the interview is about getting you the job. But if you lie in either, then you're screwed.