Problems With Neighbor

[Ross Eyerie]

This should open up a can of worms with people relating their experiences of asshole neighbours....

So I live in a low rise apartment... two stories... 8 units altogether... there's commercial space on the ground level... then two more floors with 4 units each...

I live on the second floor above the commercial... then there's a neighbour in the unit above me...

So I'm looking forward to BBQing on my balcony WITH CHARCOAL (I'm a purist) this summer... checked the municipal by laws... it's allowed... and my landlord allows it... i have a cute little 15 inch BBQ that does the job well for steaks, chicken breast, shish kebob... paid 30 bucks for it at crappy tire.

I've BBQ'd several times this summer.... with charcoal... the fire needed a jump start a couple times so I used some accelerant... ZIP fluid...

I don't care if he's reading this but fuckface above me calls the fire department... TWICE (I suppose I shoulda went up and talked to him the first time) so here I am talking to, I guess it was, the captain and two of his men... he's like "we have to investigate the complaint"... WITH THE WHOLE FUCKIN FIRE TRUCK IN THE PARKING LOT THATS SO SMALL THE TRUCK BARELY FITS AND THE LIGHTS FLASHING AWAY!! "we just want you to get along with your neighbour"

so the second time the captain says if he has to come out a third time that he'll bring the cops... whatever the fuck that means...

so I go and talk to fuckface today... his complaint? "The fumes from the fluid make me dizzy." AND HIS WINDOWS ARE FUCKING CLOSED!! "uhhh yeah maybe you can take your BBQ out to the grass on the side of the building" MAYBE I CAN SMOKE YOU OUT OF YOUR FUCKING APARTMENT ASSHOLE! Like I'm gonna be running meat and shit up and down the fucking stairs just so I can enjoy my meal....

So anyways... the only solution I came up with so far is I asked him which one is his car... so if his car is gone then I will BBQ.

But really... his windows closed... he's complaining about fumes from ZIP? I'm gonna try the instant light charcoal see if that bothers this pussy.... but does anyone else have any other ideas... I mean I know some people are sensitive....but the situation is that I spend an hour on the BBQ... heating it up and cooking... and I do it once in awhile... AND HIS WINDOWS ARE FUCKING CLOSED!! I don't understand this point... and if it really is bothering him can he not fucking put up with it for an hour once in awhile? Like I'm tryin to be nice about things and address my neighbours concern... I'm not an asshole or anything... but c'mon... he complains and they bring a whole truck... like the fire dept has anything better to do than address a complaint about a fucking BBQ!

Thoughts? Comments? Advice? Thanks for listening... and no... I don't want to make use of proper punctuation....

 

[A.J. Raven]

This should open up a can of worms with people relating their experiences of asshole neighbours....

So I live in a low rise apartment... two stories... 8 units altogether... there's commercial space on the ground level... then two more floors with 4 units each...

I live on the second floor above the commercial... then there's a neighbour in the unit above me...

So I'm looking forward to BBQing on my balcony WITH CHARCOAL (I'm a purist) this summer... checked the municipal by laws... it's allowed... and my landlord allows it... i have a cute little 15 inch BBQ that does the job well for steaks, chicken breast, shish kebob... paid 30 bucks for it at crappy tire.

I've BBQ'd several times this summer.... with charcoal... the fire needed a jump start a couple times so I used some accelerant... ZIP fluid...

I don't care if he's reading this but fuckface above me calls the fire department... TWICE (I suppose I shoulda went up and talked to him the first time) so here I am talking to, I guess it was, the captain and two of his men... he's like "we have to investigate the complaint"... WITH THE WHOLE FUCKIN FIRE TRUCK IN THE PARKING LOT THATS SO SMALL THE TRUCK BARELY FITS AND THE LIGHTS FLASHING AWAY!! "we just want you to get along with your neighbour"

so the second time the captain says if he has to come out a third time that he'll bring the cops... whatever the fuck that means...

so I go and talk to fuckface today... his complaint? "The fumes from the fluid make me dizzy." AND HIS WINDOWS ARE FUCKING CLOSED!! "uhhh yeah maybe you can take your BBQ out to the grass on the side of the building" MAYBE I CAN SMOKE YOU OUT OF YOUR FUCKING APARTMENT ASSHOLE! Like I'm gonna be running meat and shit up and down the fucking stairs just so I can enjoy my meal....

So anyways... the only solution I came up with so far is I asked him which one is his car... so if his car is gone then I will BBQ.

But really... his windows closed... he's complaining about fumes from ZIP? I'm gonna try the instant light charcoal see if that bothers this pussy.... but does anyone else have any other ideas... I mean I know some people are sensitive....but the situation is that I spend an hour on the BBQ... heating it up and cooking... and I do it once in awhile... AND HIS WINDOWS ARE FUCKING CLOSED!! I don't understand this point... and if it really is bothering him can he not fucking put up with it for an hour once in awhile? Like I'm tryin to be nice about things and address my neighbours concern... I'm not an asshole or anything... but c'mon... he complains and they bring a whole truck... like the fire dept has anything better to do than address a complaint about a fucking BBQ!

Thoughts? Comments? Advice? Thanks for listening... and no... I don't want to make use of proper punctuation....

It's my belief that if the zoning laws allow for you to use a BBQ, and your landlord has allowed the use of it, then your neighbour is gonna be in a whole heap of trouble if he calls again. I suspect when the Fire Chief mentioned the cops, he was not "threatening" you. He was letting you know that the cops would come for your neighbour and that may piss off your neighbour even more, thus inhibiting you & he getting along.

***If you got the badge info on that Fire Chief, get in touch with him, or take a walk over to your local fire department and talk them up a little on the premise you want some fire-safety info for BBQing on your balcony, and see if they have zoning information about BBQ's at your address, and anecdotally tell them what your neighbour has been doing. Perhaps they'll have a good story on how to deal with it.

 

[Ross Eyerie]

Thanks for the reply AJ...

so like the fire captain didn't go talk to HIM... just me... whaddya make of that?

 

[Ironhead]

So I'm looking forward to BBQing on my balcony WITH CHARCOAL (I'm a purist) this summer... checked the municipal by laws... it's allowed... and my landlord allows it...

Looks to me that you tried to address his concerns even though you did not have to so I would go ahead and BBQ. Law says it is ok, landlord has no problem with it.

Fire up the BBQ and enjoy your steak.

 

[Screamin-D]

Canadian Tire also sells these "ZIP Individually wrapped firestarter" bricks. They come in a small black box approx. 3"x4"x5". I've had pretty good luck with those getting the charcoal going and staying lit. I think they were around $5 or $6 bucks for the box.

 

[tboy]

Yeah, what screamin d said. You can also try natural kindling (unless you're in a big hurry) by using pine blocks, strips or whatever they're called.

I will say this: the exhaust from burning fire starter can be very pungent. No so different than the smell of burning diesel IMO.

You can also try plain alcohol (rubbing alochol will work), methal hydrate and other low odor flammable liquids. I think zip uses naptha, the same kind of fluid used in zippo lighters.

Another thing you can try is fondue fuel. It is pretty much odor free too because you are supposed to use it inside so the co2 etc will also be lower.

While you may be allowed by law, and by your landlord, you cannot do anything that inhibits the enjoyment of one's home by any action. If your bbq fumes or whatever bother your neighbour above, and or he can prove that smoke from your bbq in any way enters his apartment, YOU are at fault (according to the city bylaws).

 

[R A Z O R]

Seems like your neighbor is a real pantie waste and will continue to complain just to piss you off.
Your not breaking the law, but you'll end up on the short end of the stick...cause of him.

Fuck that neighbor faggot and go get yourself an Electric Grill.

 

[OddSox]

Just be glad he is not in a union...

 

[Questor]

Yes, seems like there are some alternative starters that you can try, as mentioned. That might work. Something else would be to take it downstairs to start it up. Then when the flaming and smoking is done, bring it back up and grill away.

I like the idea of going over to the fire station as well. Chat them up a bit and turn on the charm. Find out what the score is. I agree that it sounds like if he brings the cops with him next call, then its your neighbour who is going to be in trouble, not you. But you already said you are not an asshole, so you need to do your best to avoid aggravating the situation. Good luck. It sounds like your neighbour is a real piece of work.

 

[Keebler Elf]

Or how about lighting up the barbie and as soon as the fire truck pulls into the parking lot, shutting it down.

Pretty soon the fire department will get pissed at your neighbour for continually calling them...

 

[Ross Eyerie]

All good responses guys.... tboy if what you say is right about fumes being strong... I think I figured it out...

AN ELECTRIC FIRESTARTER... like Macauly Culkin used on the doorknob in Home Alone!

I'm gonna bring it to his attention... cause thats the considerate guy that I am...

 

[tboy]

All good responses guys.... tboy if what you say is right about fumes being strong... I think I figured it out...

AN ELECTRIC FIRESTARTER... like Macauly Culkin used on the doorknob in Home Alone!

I'm gonna bring it to his attention... cause thats the considerate guy that I am...

only thing is, those things are slower than molasses in january.......odor free idea though!

 

[The Bandit]

That stuff does stink, and smoke rises so he gets it all going up his way(even though his windows are closed as you say). The electric starter does work, and I think it's healthier than the stater fluid.

 

[my2cents]

I agree that the fumes could rise into his apartment even with windows closed. You could have done the old preventative measure before hand and invited him for a BBQ. But really if it is allowed legally then I don't see what they can do. However I suppose he get get an air testing done and if the fumes were toxic perhaps he could challenge the right to BBQ.

 

[tboy]

I agree that the fumes could rise into his apartment even with windows closed. You could have done the old preventative measure before hand and invited him for a BBQ. But really if it is allowed legally then I don't see what they can do. However I suppose he get get an air testing done and if the fumes were toxic perhaps he could challenge the right to BBQ.

According to the city bylaws no citizen can interfere with the healthy happy living of another. This applies to cooking odors going into your apartment from the one next door, music, or smoke from a BBQ. Even if he was in his backyard and his neighbour was in his and the wind was blowing the smoke onto his property, the neighbour could call the cops and he'd have to put his BBQ out.

I will tell you this: I've turned vegetarian and since then, the smell of a steak that used to make my mouth water smells worse than those homeless people who haven't had a bath for 5 yrs....it makes me gag. I'd simply go to my neighbour tho and ask him politely to move his bbq so it wouldn't be blowing either into where I was sitting or into my place. If he didn't move it, then I'd complain.

What I find strange is how selfish some people can be. Thankfully Ross is considerate and will try to rectify the situation to everyone's benefit. But really, how nice would it be to be sitting there watching tv or whatever have smoke and fumes blowing in your window?

As for the air testing, all it would take would be the reporting officer to go into the apartment and take a sniff. Just like noise complaints: they simply stand and listen and if they hear music (even before the quiet hour) they tell the offender to stop (because the law states that unless you have a permit, you cannot amplify sound to the point that it can be heard outside the perimeter of your home).

 

[Brill]

Make sure it's not a false alarm next time - torch his car.

 

[chuckparker]

I would totally fuck with the neighbor.

Go and buy another little BBQ exactly like the one you have. Light it up and let the fumes rise up to asswipes place. As soon as you see the fire truck coming dump the charcoal in a steal buck full of water and hide the BBQ. When the fire chief comes up let him come in and show him your other BBQ that is "cold to the touch" ..... At this point the fire guy should call the cops and have your neighbor charged with public mischief.

 

[tboy]

^^^^^^another perfect example of why they call us CIVILIZED lol....

dude, please.......

 

[Never Compromised]

You've been a good guy, you have put up with an asshole neighbour. Buy a shotgun and do some skeet shooting off the balcony.

 

[A.J. Raven]

You probably already know this, but setting charcoal (or any fire) to light properly will also help with fumes, avoid extra firestarter costs and get the fire going quicker. With briquettes I believe you're supposed to make a pyramid of them, and put match inside. Get the long matches as they burn longer - long enough to bet the charcoal going. Other types of fires have different methods: tee-pee, log cabin, etc... I'm sure you can ding the info online.