Its hard to not be yourself.
As a Domina, I think things are a little different, especially with the fascination and attention that kink and fetish have received over the last decade. I think it is easier to be open as a BDSM player than an sp.
Like CIAK, there are tons of people who know who I am and all about me - I've participated in and conducted workshops at public events and demonstrations since I got involved in the scene.
When you show up to your father's retirement party in your leathr dress and stillettos ... There is so much more of my world that crosses over without raising any eyebrows - especially shoes and clothing.
I don't get into great details with my parents as to how I earn my money, but my involvement and interest in BDSM and other queer culture is well known, as is my bisexuality (but again, we don't talk about it much, because I'm not in a serious relationship now.) I've even gone shoe shopping with my dad, and they've seen me all dolled up to go party in San Francisco (where my brother lives and my sister-in-law saw my latex drying in the shower after a night out). Other family members are rare for me, but my cousin knows all.
Plenty of friends and acquaintances know, I really have no problem with being open. In fact, I doubt there is anyone outside my family that I've interacted with for any length of time that doesn't know.
Much of my politic (feminism, dominator/oppressor culture) overlaps with my understanding of BDSM play - which came after my entrance into the "real world" of higher education and employment in Human Rights enforcement. My choice to leave that world had a lot to do with my awareness that I would not succeed in any way I wanted without great personal costs. I prefer my independence and look forward to fulfilling some of my personal goals for work and support in the industry.
But, like I said, the world is very different for sps and other sex workers - there is a hierarchy of acceptability in our society - and it is difficult. It is even hard to get women to talk about how they deal with their families - its a difficult position. It is one of the reasons that I support decriminaliation - the artificial creation of a criminal underclass of women who are already marginalied and isolated is reprehensible, give the clear need for services in our communities.
On the other hand, how many of you have a circle of friends that extends far beyond your peers and colleagues at work? The social circles in which I am involved have plenty of open and aware people with whom I can align myself.
