So yesterday I was on a date with a dark-skinned woman, and I am quite pale myself. I was delighting in her company and my face really showed it. But some people were looking at me strangely, as though wondering why do I look so happy, or as if they didn't like seeing the two of us together. I ignored it at first but they still kept looking. We talked about it and we decided not to confront them or even look back and just walked away. But it was just fortunate that we were in a situation where we were able to walk away. But what if we weren't able to do that for whatever reason (i.e. sitting at a table)? What would you have done? What's the best way to deal with this?
People gawking at you when dating interracially
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It's all in your head. Trust me, no one cares that much about what you're doing.
Were they black? Once i dated a black girl and only people staring at me making unpleasant comments were, unfortunately, other black dude.
Nothing you can do unless you want a night full of drama. It would be the same if you were an older gentleman sitting with a younger lady
People judge and always will.
People judge and always will.
Bill Burr | Dated A Black Girl From Harlem #shorts
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No, they were white. But there might have been some black people who walked by and looked at us weird. If so, it was very brief.
Get over yourself man the entire country is mixed at this point
Maybe they were curious.
Maybe they were showing contempt.
You cannot do anything about it.
Let them stare.
Just have a laugh and move on.
Maybe they were showing contempt.
You cannot do anything about it.
Let them stare.
Just have a laugh and move on.
99% of the women I've seen and dated were interracial encounters and my kids are mixed also. I've been to a few interracial weddings and mine was also. I personally don't care what anyone thinks including family members. When I lived in the city I'd get certain stares I guess, but I generally just focused on myself and what I was doing. Never had to actually walk up and talk to someone. If it's teens you're dealing with just ignore them and move on and if it's immature adults just shrug it off. Most people are shocked that my kids are actually mine when I tell them I'm their dad and most still think I'm some teenager myself. One guy during a soccer game asked if my kids were my younger siblings. Gotta love looking like a teen when almost in my 40s.
You mentioned sitting at a table. Was this at some mall or something? Or at some dine in joint? I wouldn't let it get to you. If certain remarks are being made in the open maybe find a better place to go to. There's no point in starting stuff each time you encounter stuff like this, it's just not a healthy overall environment. Most of the time it was people similar to my race that would stare or something, but once again I'd just focus on the date and continue a convo going. Most people are judgmental and immature. Is it really worth it going up to those people and starting something? No different than some road rage incident over something minor. Just let it go.
You mentioned sitting at a table. Was this at some mall or something? Or at some dine in joint? I wouldn't let it get to you. If certain remarks are being made in the open maybe find a better place to go to. There's no point in starting stuff each time you encounter stuff like this, it's just not a healthy overall environment. Most of the time it was people similar to my race that would stare or something, but once again I'd just focus on the date and continue a convo going. Most people are judgmental and immature. Is it really worth it going up to those people and starting something? No different than some road rage incident over something minor. Just let it go.
I have been on many civilian and professional dates with women who are ebony and or Indian. Back in the 90's some people would stare but not really in the last 20 years or so.
Was there a big age difference between you and her? I was on a date once with an Indian girl who was much younger than me... and some people stared. I think it was more to do with our age difference.
Was there a big age difference between you and her? I was on a date once with an Indian girl who was much younger than me... and some people stared. I think it was more to do with our age difference.
I'm white, and I've dated dark skinned black women. In Toronto that stare is often, "Aww, cute.", and in rural Canada that stare is often because they simply haven't seen many people of colour. Though, read the room, lol.
Especially in Toronto, or another major Canadian city, don't assume all (or even most) of those looks are hostile. A lot of that is just curiosity, or people having "a happy" because they live in a place where this is a thing. Try to ignore it.
Mind you, you will get a front row seat for some overtly racist interactions. However, oddly enough, especially in Old Toronto, I've consistently found that Me + Dark Skinned Black Woman gets treated better than either of us do individually. As racist as it is, that combination magically makes me not an asshole, and the woman, "one of the good ones."
Sorry, I re-read your post. Yes, just walk away. Most of the stares or glances I've gotten in the past were typically from immigrants who tend to be highly conservative. Otherwise nobody generally cares especially these days compared to even 15 years ago. If you were at some table I guess glances and stuff are more common at like a mall food court or some chain restaurant. Most folks just mind their own business. I still get the odd few stares when dining out with my kids and I don't even bother looking much at my entire surroundings often to even care. Why spoil a good moment in your life? I've been to many different restaurants and typically will do a quick glance around the room then focus on who I'm with. If you were at a dine in just ignore them and enjoy who's company you're with. Now if comments are being made then you can either change tables or something. That's up to you. There's those NBC "What Would You Do" shows on YT regarding interracial couples dining out where actors say stuff. You could always check those out. A few people will even stand up for you and tell someone making comments to bugger off politely unless they really need to take it outside lol...
You'll also get stares if you're average/fit and date someone thicc or BBW. I've had that happen also a few times since I'm not big myself.
You'll also get stares if you're average/fit and date someone thicc or BBW. I've had that happen also a few times since I'm not big myself.
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She's in her 30's, not that much younger than me. I'm sure it is the contrast in skin color that caught their attention, as there is not much difference between us otherwise.
This was the case - black blokes - in my younger days and early when I dated ebony ladies and/or married an ebony lady and only in the usa. They'd mutter something to her about "being with ya own kind" but would walk away if I turned to inquire what they said (was a pretty fit 195cm 108kg back then). I just let it go as it reveals their ignorance. No reply required.
As I got older, and time moved on, it just doesn't happen that much anymore.
I think there are liberal groups who don't realize how times move on for the better. Anytime I hear someone say "racism has never been worse" I shake my head at that ignorance. People in my working class upbringing freely used the n word and made jokes etc back in late 60s and through 70s, but that's changed enormously even before I started bringing home ebony ladies.
My 3 biracial kids have said to me they never had any major issues.
kherg007, you really tempt me to look up your ebony stories. I'm guessing you are pretty well-known for them. Like they are your Bond girls, and hence your 007 signature?
If you are spending brain cycles noticing other people looking at you, you aren’t giving your date your full attention. Don’t let distractions ruin your date.
Most people are living miserable and boring lives. Seeing a happy couple IRL makes them feel worse.
I do it all the time. It's intriguing to see the meshing of two different cultures or ethnic backgrounds.
I was having coffee with a black male friend in a small town. Older white people were staring and making comments. We decided to start kissing right before we left, because we were both mischievous types.
Yes, yes they are. Like how the henchmen in the Bond movies all wear the same uniforms, so does my my praetorian guard of ebony beauties. They dress in shiny cobalt blue form tight fitting outfits with raspberry berets (not the kind you find in the second hand store). This is accented by a wide white utility belt where they keep their firearms and condoms and other necessities. They walk in a V formation and skilled in all manners of hand to hand combat, like Bambi and Thumper from Diamonds are forever.
Surprised you haven't seen us walking the streets of Grimsby.
I don’t know if it is white people at this point. Anecdotally, I have a few white friends (guys and girls) that married interracially without issue. It was non-Westernized minorities that seemed to have the issue (taking our women/men).
Grandma wants her grandsons to marry Philippine or Thai women as “they are pretty and believe in family”.
Grandma wants her grandsons to marry Philippine or Thai women as “they are pretty and believe in family”.
