Val just left. I warned her that I was going to post a review, so here it is. Much has been said about Val's superb service, her bubbly personality, her bee-sting boobies, and general other niceties. There is another review thread here that outlines a lot of what a visit with Val is like, praising her abilities and shit like that.
This is not going to be one of those reviews.
She arrived at my hotel room one minute early. She was dressed, I don't know, I guess "nice" would be a good adjective. Penisable would be another. Even church-like. Overall, her outfit was okay. I was hoping for a Wookie suit, with a cut out for the crotch, but I was extremely disappointed. Oh well, you can't have it all. Even though I was the got-damned customer.
After some small talk and discussions about God knows what, I can't remember, the activity started. She excused herself abruptly and headed to the toilet to "get changed". My hopes rose, yet when she exited the poop-room, she was dressed not in a Wookie suit, but in a french maid outfit that the lay-person would only describe as "sexy", or "oh my God, I've died and gone to heaven she looks so hot..." But I repeat, NO WOOKIE SUIT.
A beverage was offered and graciously accepted, and then she requested some music. Alas, my laptop did not have the Imperial March from Star Wars on it (I must have left it in the other laptop), so she fired up her phone and put on some standard f*ck music that you would hear in a strip club, if you were to attend those, which I have never and would never by the way.
Activities started with more LFK and other acronyms, with the exception of WP (Wookie penising). I won't get into detail because a) I respect her YMMV stipulations; b) my M was very good (suck it, haters!), YMMV; and c) it's more or less a blur. I will say, begrudgingly, that she gets really into it, and is very vocal. But she cannot do a Wookie scream. Points off for that. On a side note, she pointed out that the hotel I am staying at was designed by a pervert, with the placement of mirrors in positions that allow you to believe you are watching a porno starring yourself and an extremely hot non-Wookie.
CONS: She did not kick me in the balls, as threatened. She did not do anything unsafe, like the Kessel run in 15 parsecs. She didn't even react when I commented that her ass looked completely unlike the Millenium Falcon. VERY DISAPPOINTING.
Maybe, had I booked last Friday (Star Wars Day), I would have been able to part the orange hair and nail a 7 foot tall behemoth. But alas, it is several days later, and there was no Wookie Nookie to be had. Goddammitsomuch. I had to settle for a compact little hottie, whose only goal was to get you off. Repeatedly. Wipe hands on pants.
Overall, however, I must admit that it was time well spent, and she is every bit as good looking as her pictures on her website portray her to be. Especially when she was flouncing back and forth to the A/C unit turning it up and down every five farking minutes because she was either too cold or too hot. I mentioned that had she been wearing a suit made of hair, she would have not been cold. But I don't think she heard me.
To the ratings:
Looks: 9 (or, if you like big floppy boobies, 8)
Boobies: 10 (or, if you like big floppy boobies, 2)
Enthusiasm: 10 (or, if you like big floppy boobies, 10)
Service: 9 (or, if you like big floppy boobies, 10)
Wookie suit: -1891297208 (or, if you like big floppy wookies, -1891297208)
Will I repeat? NOT A FARKING CHANCE UNLESS SHE GETS A WOOKIE SUIT
http://peachyval.com/home.html
This is not going to be one of those reviews.
She arrived at my hotel room one minute early. She was dressed, I don't know, I guess "nice" would be a good adjective. Penisable would be another. Even church-like. Overall, her outfit was okay. I was hoping for a Wookie suit, with a cut out for the crotch, but I was extremely disappointed. Oh well, you can't have it all. Even though I was the got-damned customer.
After some small talk and discussions about God knows what, I can't remember, the activity started. She excused herself abruptly and headed to the toilet to "get changed". My hopes rose, yet when she exited the poop-room, she was dressed not in a Wookie suit, but in a french maid outfit that the lay-person would only describe as "sexy", or "oh my God, I've died and gone to heaven she looks so hot..." But I repeat, NO WOOKIE SUIT.
A beverage was offered and graciously accepted, and then she requested some music. Alas, my laptop did not have the Imperial March from Star Wars on it (I must have left it in the other laptop), so she fired up her phone and put on some standard f*ck music that you would hear in a strip club, if you were to attend those, which I have never and would never by the way.
Activities started with more LFK and other acronyms, with the exception of WP (Wookie penising). I won't get into detail because a) I respect her YMMV stipulations; b) my M was very good (suck it, haters!), YMMV; and c) it's more or less a blur. I will say, begrudgingly, that she gets really into it, and is very vocal. But she cannot do a Wookie scream. Points off for that. On a side note, she pointed out that the hotel I am staying at was designed by a pervert, with the placement of mirrors in positions that allow you to believe you are watching a porno starring yourself and an extremely hot non-Wookie.
CONS: She did not kick me in the balls, as threatened. She did not do anything unsafe, like the Kessel run in 15 parsecs. She didn't even react when I commented that her ass looked completely unlike the Millenium Falcon. VERY DISAPPOINTING.
Maybe, had I booked last Friday (Star Wars Day), I would have been able to part the orange hair and nail a 7 foot tall behemoth. But alas, it is several days later, and there was no Wookie Nookie to be had. Goddammitsomuch. I had to settle for a compact little hottie, whose only goal was to get you off. Repeatedly. Wipe hands on pants.
Overall, however, I must admit that it was time well spent, and she is every bit as good looking as her pictures on her website portray her to be. Especially when she was flouncing back and forth to the A/C unit turning it up and down every five farking minutes because she was either too cold or too hot. I mentioned that had she been wearing a suit made of hair, she would have not been cold. But I don't think she heard me.
To the ratings:
Looks: 9 (or, if you like big floppy boobies, 8)
Boobies: 10 (or, if you like big floppy boobies, 2)
Enthusiasm: 10 (or, if you like big floppy boobies, 10)
Service: 9 (or, if you like big floppy boobies, 10)
Wookie suit: -1891297208 (or, if you like big floppy wookies, -1891297208)
Will I repeat? NOT A FARKING CHANCE UNLESS SHE GETS A WOOKIE SUIT
http://peachyval.com/home.html
