How have your past relationships ended. Were they amicable or not amicable, not sure? What would happen if you ran into your former ex(es)/gf(s) ?
For my part, all of my significant past relationships happened in a different city, so the chance of running into any of them are slim to none. I think the first would be not amicable, the second was definitely amicable, and the third was definitely not amicable, and the fourth which ended before it began, was not amicable. There was no official break up- I just avoided her when I figured out what kind of person she was. This last woman, whom I met in computer school, was not friendly with any other students. She was toxic (This last woman's father died, I think when she was a teen. I don't know if this is significant). I do not keep in touch with any of them.
I had all of these relationships in my 20s. And in hindsight, the experiences I gained taught me, mostly, what works and more importantly what does not, in a relationship. It has also become clear to me that I made several rookie mistakes in these relationships. It reminds of the old saying "If I knew then what I know now, and if I could do now what I could do then...."
At the end of it all, I did not realize how much power in the relationships I actually had.
And FYI, I have been happily married to the same woman since the mid 90s. It is the first marriage* for both of us.
So if you met any of your former partners today, would you be happy to see each other? Please include where you & she were in your life (young,middle aged,old, student,working,etc...). Share as much as you dare.
*Comedian Joe Wong has a fun joke about marriage. He said he was nervous about getting married- because close to half of all marriages---- end up lasting forever!!!
For my part, all of my significant past relationships happened in a different city, so the chance of running into any of them are slim to none. I think the first would be not amicable, the second was definitely amicable, and the third was definitely not amicable, and the fourth which ended before it began, was not amicable. There was no official break up- I just avoided her when I figured out what kind of person she was. This last woman, whom I met in computer school, was not friendly with any other students. She was toxic (This last woman's father died, I think when she was a teen. I don't know if this is significant). I do not keep in touch with any of them.
I had all of these relationships in my 20s. And in hindsight, the experiences I gained taught me, mostly, what works and more importantly what does not, in a relationship. It has also become clear to me that I made several rookie mistakes in these relationships. It reminds of the old saying "If I knew then what I know now, and if I could do now what I could do then...."
At the end of it all, I did not realize how much power in the relationships I actually had.
And FYI, I have been happily married to the same woman since the mid 90s. It is the first marriage* for both of us.
So if you met any of your former partners today, would you be happy to see each other? Please include where you & she were in your life (young,middle aged,old, student,working,etc...). Share as much as you dare.
*Comedian Joe Wong has a fun joke about marriage. He said he was nervous about getting married- because close to half of all marriages---- end up lasting forever!!!
