office crush PROBLEM I'm engaged!!

[ethan99]

Big problem. I think I'm falling in love with a girl from my office. We hang out all the time, eat lunches, go on breaks, msn, and flirt with each other non-stop.

I know she's into me. she knows I have a GF and that I'm engaged. The crush is so goddamm nice, and really sexy too. yeah, i'm engaged. i'm not sure if i'm just freaked out about marriage, but am really feeling the urge to make a pass at her. I bailed on a work party last week knowing I might move on her. i cannot stop thinking about her

is there ever any happy ending to making out with another girl for a while then living happily ever after?

 

[daKoolGuy]

Big problem. I think I'm falling in love with a girl from my office. We hang out all the time, eat lunches, go on breaks, msn, and flirt with each other non-stop.

I know she's into me. she knows I have a GF and that I'm engaged. The crush is so goddamm nice, and really sexy too. yeah, i'm engaged. i'm not sure if i'm just freaked out about marriage, but am really feeling the urge to make a pass at her. I bailed on a work party last week knowing I might move on her. i cannot stop thinking about her

is there ever any happy ending to making out with another girl for a while then living happily ever after?

You got a "crushing" problem. You seem to be confused my friend.
So are you really sure about the marriage ?
Does your 'crush' know of your engaged status or did you think that telling her will crush this whole affair?

 

[MuffinMuncher]

Keep in mind, that since she is aware of your situation, you might only be appealing to her because she knows it wont lead to anything serious. Hate to fall in love with her, ditch the marraige and then find out she no longer wants you because you're no longer forbidden fruit.

You're on an escort board, you have feelings for someone else. Examine whether you really want to be engaged and married. You wont be the first guy who cheats while engaged and still has a happy and fulfilling married life, and you wont be the first guy who cheats but still loves his wife.

 

[Stoo]

You're on an escort board, you have feelings for someone else...

I was actually kind of thinking that the escort board might be more the issue... I presume you see escorts... and you're engaged. Isn't there a bit of a "disconnect" there?

Oh, and the office "romance-in-the-making"... That's not a positive sign!

Me thinks you need to do a little soul-searching my friend, but maybe that's just me. I'm sure there's lots of guys that are having affairs while simultaneously seeing escorts and still manage to have terrific marriages! ROTFLMAO!

 

[Powershot]

LOL no offense but you don't exactly seem like anything close to marriage material.

 

[ocean976124]

On one hand its normal to experience jitters about marriage. Many men panic and suddenly wonder about other women and such. Its important to take a step back and focus first and foremost on the person you're engaged to. Putting your fears aside, do you want to be married? Then ask, fears aside, if that is the person you want to be married to?
Remember, being flirty is a far cry from a true, deep, and meaningful relationship. Yes, this beautiful woman in your office is great when there's no mutual responsibility and relationship stress between the two of you. But for all you know she's a disaster in relationships.

As for making a pass at her, just remember that when you leave her you're going to have to face your fiance and even if she doesn't know you cheated, you'll know you did. And sometimes thats the part cheaters have the hardest time with...

Essentially, affairs are never worth it. Too much emotional hurt can take place and no one wins...

 

[tboy]

Yeah, the forbidden fruit comment I think is bang on. Your office "friend" feels safe with you because she thinks/knows nothing will come of her actions but if she knew you would go for it, would she still act this way?

I say make your move, you only live once and if she rebuffs your advances? you have all the answers you need.

BTW: I have been in similar situations as you are (I was only dating not engaged). I broke up with my current GF to be with the friend only to have her bail on me after a week. I still say the forbidden fruit was more than part of her attraction to me. This was crazy because she was after me for YEARS...

I've also had relationships with women I've worked with, and dude, they NEVER turn out nice......

 

[hinz]

Big problem. I think I'm falling in love with a girl from my office. We hang out all the time, eat lunches, go on breaks, msn, and flirt with each other non-stop.

I know she's into me. she knows I have a GF and that I'm engaged. The crush is so goddamm nice, and really sexy too. yeah, i'm engaged. i'm not sure if i'm just freaked out about marriage, but am really feeling the urge to make a pass at her. I bailed on a work party last week knowing I might move on her. i cannot stop thinking about her

is there ever any happy ending to making out with another girl for a while then living happily ever after?

Don't put yourself in a hot water. You may be confused with "office spouse" since you two probably spend more time at the workplace than your fiance.

Why would you risk your reputation and career to this, no offense, s***k? She knows you are engaged and yet she keeps on "flirting" with you as usual. Maybe she just cannot beat the boredom and you are the prime candidate to make her excited for the moment without "shagging".

Trust me, once you fall into the trap. You will be a big time loser as your now ex will no longer forgive you and your co-worker will probably feel tired of you. Your co-worker will probably dump you and move on to new target.

Plus, you never know she will "gather" all the evidence secretly and blackmail you by handing it to your boss. What's the chance of having people to believe female co-worker sexually harassing male co-worker?

 

[alan9080]

Stay away...far far away...Just remember, in office romance, its always the men who get into trouble!!! Its your word against hers!!!

 

[Don]

LOL no offense but you don't exactly seem like anything close to marriage material.

Totally agree. Sounds like you are not ready for marriage. One thing to flirt and get turned on by a hot co-worker. Another thing if it keeps you up at night thinking about her.

 

[ethan99]

I really want to thank everyone for your awesome replies.

First, I know I'm not ideal marriage matierial because of my sex addiction. I go to escorts cause I have a problem I admit that. But I'm not going to throw away my girl beacuse of my addiction, the emotional side of things is very important. In my "real life", I'm a really kind, respectful guy who most people adore. My "other" life, yes I'm a sick sleezebag.

Onto the crush, after reading all this, it occured to me that it would be very dumb to make a move. I know office relationships never work, yet why is it I think I could pull it off? That's insane. I'm not looking to become the big loser that screws it all up. Maybe I'll just continue to flirt and be the coolguy/forbidden fruit. I like the sounds of that alot better

 

[james t kirk]

I really want to thank everyone for your awesome replies.

First, I know I'm not ideal marriage matierial because of my sex addiction. I go to escorts cause I have a problem I admit that. But I'm not going to throw away my girl beacuse of my addiction, the emotional side of things is very important. In my "real life", I'm a really kind, respectful guy who most people adore. My "other" life, yes I'm a sick sleezebag.

You just described every single poster on this board - single or attached and probably 70% of the male population of North America.

It's like the cartoon with sylvester having the angel Sylvester on one shoulder and the devil Sylvester on the other.

 

[Powershot]

Just don't be naive enough not to know that others in your office environment probably notice your flirting and think you're a bit of a slimeball (being engaged and all) because of it.

 

[papasmerf]

Big problem. I think I'm falling in love with a girl from my office. We hang out all the time, eat lunches, go on breaks, msn, and flirt with each other non-stop.

I know she's into me. she knows I have a GF and that I'm engaged. The crush is so goddamm nice, and really sexy too. yeah, i'm engaged. i'm not sure if i'm just freaked out about marriage, but am really feeling the urge to make a pass at her. I bailed on a work party last week knowing I might move on her. i cannot stop thinking about her

is there ever any happy ending to making out with another girl for a while then living happily ever after?

Yea forget about it and keep your pecker in your pants and her name in the rolidex

 

[hunter001]

If she is hot go for it.

Statistics say that no matter what you do there is at least a 50% chance that your marriage will fail.

 

[Caveman]

well whatever you do make sure you dont regret what you do like this story

actions have consequences....make sure you can live with them....

asn is right. Go for it if you can live with whatever the outcome is.

On the other hand, sometimes we need to treasure what we already have and make sure we don`t hurt people we love with our actions. Just remember we all know that "the grass is always greener on the other side of the fence".

 

[steeverus]

On the contrary, I don't think this guys anything close to TERB material if you ask me - I think most of us would jump at the chance.
As long as she seems cool about it and doesn't really want a relationship but just wants to bang your brains out then go for it.
If you're really not willing to do her then just get married and hang up your pance cause you won't be needing them where you're going.

LOL no offense but you don't exactly seem like anything close to marriage material.

 

[Dartman]

If you are into hobbying then you can do it no questions asked, thats what I think

 

[MarkII]

Big problem. I think I'm falling in love with a girl from my office. We hang out all the time, eat lunches, go on breaks, msn, and flirt with each other non-stop.

I know she's into me. she knows I have a GF and that I'm engaged. The crush is so goddamm nice, and really sexy too. yeah, i'm engaged. i'm not sure if i'm just freaked out about marriage, but am really feeling the urge to make a pass at her. I bailed on a work party last week knowing I might move on her. i cannot stop thinking about her

is there ever any happy ending to making out with another girl for a while then living happily ever after?

Ethan...does the woman you are engaged to deserve this treatment?

It is a two way street. I know I would howl loudly if my SO stepped out one me, but yet I've done it. I have curtailed my hobbying for this very reason. It isn't guilt, it's caring about how she would feeel if she found out.

You aren't ready for marriage yet. You're on an escort board..which may or not mean you are an active hobbyist, and participating in an ongoing flirtation contest at work. It's the hunt that interests you right now more than anything. Thats ok, just admit it. The woman you're engaged to right now doesn't see it that way. She believes you are the one and her hunting days are over. Does she deserve to be decieved on what will be one of the most important days of her life?

Hard questions..but they need answering.

M2

 

[Twister]

Another secondary thing is....how important is the job for you?........
What if you guys end up not getting along......working in the same place with someone you can end up disliking.........not easy.
I had a little disagrement with another fellow at the gym.....now everytime I go ...this guy is there....and it bugs me.