I seem to have foot in mouth disease. Almost everytime i talk to a woman, it's almost a sure bet that i will say the wrong words and piss her off. Happened today talking to a friend (i guess not anymore) and i said, in not so many words, that she was a gold digger and boy was she ever pissed. She won't answer her phone, so i had to appologize to her answering machine. How do i avoid being a dumbass?
Need some advice...again
- Thread starter incognito
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Its all in the delivery. As George Constanza would say, just say the complete opposite of what you would say, and you should be fine.
I think there are two possible reasons for the scenario you are experiencing.
1) Shyness, lack of confidence, feelings of vulnerability and/or feeling intimidated can cause you to speak awkwardly because you are under duress.
Best you can do is remove in your mind whatever importance you are placing on the situation or person and approach it with no concern as to the outcome.
2) If you have a lot of repressed emotion especially negitive emotion it tends to build up and eventually leak out in an uncontrolled manner. Kinda like a mild form of Tourette Syndrome. I had once suffered from this and it wasn't until one day someone had questioned why I had out of the blue said something cruel to them that I realized what I was doing and put a stop to it.
Hope that helps. That'll be $100.
1) Shyness, lack of confidence, feelings of vulnerability and/or feeling intimidated can cause you to speak awkwardly because you are under duress.
Best you can do is remove in your mind whatever importance you are placing on the situation or person and approach it with no concern as to the outcome.
2) If you have a lot of repressed emotion especially negitive emotion it tends to build up and eventually leak out in an uncontrolled manner. Kinda like a mild form of Tourette Syndrome. I had once suffered from this and it wasn't until one day someone had questioned why I had out of the blue said something cruel to them that I realized what I was doing and put a stop to it.
Hope that helps. That'll be $100.
my question to you cog is: is she REALLY a golddigger?
If your answer is yes then, IMHO you did nothing to appologize about....
If your answer is yes then, IMHO you did nothing to appologize about....
incognito said:
Just keep reminding yourself that talking to a woman , effectively, is vastly different than talking to a man.
Think before you let your words loose next time; sounds simple but do try and pratice that. " Would my words be too blunt and insensitive for her ? " should be the question you keep running through your head in those situations.
Now, having said that, is she really a gold digger ?
I'm not surprised she's angry if you accused her of gold-digging. And "not in so many words" makes it sound like your were far too blunt (read that as 'rude'). I find that aksing them questions ans letting them talk is better than just trying to blurt out stuff. And "golddigger" makes me feel like you don't even like her or at the very least, respect her.
Truth ain't always the right way to go. If you're upset, just say you're upset, but talk about your own feelings. "I feel like I have a hard time treating you the way you deserve" works better than, "You're a greedy bitch and I can't handle keep hemorraghing money while being teased to death!"
Truth ain't always the right way to go. If you're upset, just say you're upset, but talk about your own feelings. "I feel like I have a hard time treating you the way you deserve" works better than, "You're a greedy bitch and I can't handle keep hemorraghing money while being teased to death!"
Well, looks like i lost another friend. I'm such a dumbass. Now i really feel like George Constanza. D'oh. 
No matter what i say, it's the wrong thing. While other guys can say nothing wrong, even if it's worse than what i said. Maybe ELI is right, maybe i have a mild form of Tourette Syndrome. I wish i was charismatic and witty. But i'm just a dumbass.
For the record, i don't think she's a golddigger. The conversation just kinda went that way and the rest is history. Well, time to find the bottom end of a bottle now.
No matter what i say, it's the wrong thing. While other guys can say nothing wrong, even if it's worse than what i said. Maybe ELI is right, maybe i have a mild form of Tourette Syndrome. I wish i was charismatic and witty. But i'm just a dumbass.
For the record, i don't think she's a golddigger. The conversation just kinda went that way and the rest is history. Well, time to find the bottom end of a bottle now.
Everything any man needs to know about speaking to women is in this video. It is a must watch for every male who ever had a problem with speaking to women. You can thank me later:
http://thetravisty.com/Saturday_Night_Live/mov/Sexual_Harassment_and_You.htm
http://thetravisty.com/Saturday_Night_Live/mov/Sexual_Harassment_and_You.htm
