Need Ms Abby advice

[wetnose]

I rented out a room in September of last year and a very pretty girl moved in. At the time, she supposedly still had a boyfriend. About her: she's simply fantastic - warm, kind, intelligent, loyal, considerate and gorgeous. Basically everything any man would want. Basically I would have left the hobby, done anything for her.

She was going through a rough patch with the boyfriend and I didn't want to make things complicated for her. I didn't want to make things uncomfortable for her plus she was also due to be transferred for a 1 year job attachment in Europe commencing in June. So I played it cool and disinterested. I was going to tell her about my feelings just before she left so that I'd have first dibs when she came back.

She has never indicated any interest in me, but she does enjoy my company and my cooking. We've never talked about personal life too much...preferring to keep it light.

Meanwhile, I was making her dinner on some days, watching TV with her, laughing at her jokes, buying her birthday gifts, suprising her with little things...doing everything I could do...short of being a boyfriend.

But somehow, I think she did make a clean break 1 or 2 months ago...10 days ago, she met some musician guy at a party and they hit it off fabulously. Last night they had sex and I heard it. It was wrenching, knowing the girl I cared deeply about was banging some other guy just 10 ft away from me. I think I only slept 40 minutes last night.

Question is: what the hell do I do now???

Please don't tell me I have to grin and bear it. Last night was f*ckin intolerable. I don't think I've had a worst night in my life.

 

[red]

well its probably too late - but I guess the only thing you can do now is to take off your skirt, put on your pants and tell her how you feel.

 

[lookingforitallthetime]

She's obviously not interested in you. Do yourself a favour and move on.

 

[danmand]

She's obviously not interested in you. Do yourself a favour and move on.

Good advice. My guess is that you are a bit older than her, and she
has not even considered you as a potential BF.

 

[Berlin]

Question is: what the hell do I do now???

Please don't tell me I have to grin and bear it. Last night was f*ckin intolerable. I don't think I've had a worst night in my life.

Mi amigo ,give yerself a nice treat : have a fab week of sexo in Cuba to refresh yer mind and soul. Time to move on.

 

[Meister]

How do you get a girl like that to move in with you? Can you e-mail me the wording of your ad? I have to try this too.

 

[jwmorrice]

She has never indicated any interest in me, but she does enjoy my company and my cooking. We've never talked about personal life too much...preferring to keep it light.

Meanwhile, I was making her dinner on some days, watching TV with her, laughing at her jokes, buying her birthday gifts, suprising her with little things...doing everything I could do...short of being a boyfriend.

Please don't tell me I have to grin and bear it. Last night was f*ckin intolerable. I don't think I've had a worst night in my life.

Did she ever mistakenly call you "Dad"?

jwm

 

[fuji]

Find out what her status with Mr. Musician is, if they're not official then you could take your dress off, put on some pants, and make a move. All you have to lose is a miserable living situation until she takes her trip.

I judge your chances as slim, though. That said no-one ever won the lottery who didn't buy a ticket. You have to play to win.

I was in a sort of similar situation once. I lived with this fucking hot chick who would bang practically anyone. The trouble was I had a close GF who was over at my place 3-4 nights a week. There was just going to be too much unwanted fallout if I hit on the hot roommate so I never made a move.

Still would bug me when she'd come home drunk and fuck some guy in the shower.

 

[wetnose]

Thanks for the PMs and the advice, guys. Nothing like the straight goods from guys in the community. I got some lousy advice from a female friend and it sucked.

I'm going to feel out what last night was about - she did leave the front door unlocked so I figure the sex wasn't planned - he probably made his move and she just went along. If that's the case, then maybe it was just 1 bad decision. So there's still a chance.

If not and she wants to go full bore then I have to consider alternatives.

I'm pissed that he got there before me. There were other times when she seemed vulnerable and I should have just gone for it. But I held back because I was brought up to be a gentleman. DAMN.

Screw that. On the table is character assassination, sabotage (smoke alarm anyone?), poisoning (just to give him/her discomfort to spoil the mood) and plain reason. I gotta find out his allergies. I'm going to break up his deal.

Did she ever mistakenly call you "Dad"?

jwm

I'm 12 years older than her...and she's at the Seneca. So yeah a little bit older but not a stretch.

Getting a set up like that is not difficult. Get a nice location and pad, post around the neighbourhood and CL, set a slightly lower than market price and wait until the right fish comes along. Insist on no long term "guests". 3 other people viewed the place and they all wanted it, but she said some things that were just right.

Plus she was HOT.

 

[elmo]

Can you give us a review of last night with the musician?

 

[danmand]

Getting a set up like that is not difficult. Get a nice location and pad, post around the neighbourhood and CL, set a slightly lower than market price and wait until the right fish comes along. Insist on no long term "guests". 3 other people viewed the place and they all wanted it, but she said some things that were just right.

Jeeeeassshhhh, what troubles some guys go to in order to get laid.

Why not just do like the rest of us and pay by the hour.

 

[Diode]

She's obviously not interested in you. Do yourself a favour and move on.

Why do you say this? Not all long time relationships start off with sparks.
In fact, some start as smoldering embers, and require a little faning of the flame.
I don't undrstand guys who won't ask a girl out. What have you got to lose?
The worst thing she can say is NO. Big deal, if she does, it her loss, and you won't go through life thinking "what if".

So she bangs some musician. These guys will come and Go.
Open a decent bottle of wine, sit down alone together, and tell her how you feel, honestly.

 

[Moraff]

On the table is character assassination, sabotage (smoke alarm anyone?), poisoning (just to give him/her discomfort to spoil the mood) and plain reason. I gotta find out his allergies. I'm going to break up his deal.

I sincerely hope you are kidding here. If not, I suggest you grow up and act your age.

 

[fuji]

If that's the case, then maybe it was just 1 bad decision.

Dude, it doesn't sound like she made a bad decision, sounds like a single(?) girl had some great sex. How is that a bad decision?

I'm 12 years older than her...and she's at the Seneca. So yeah a little bit older but not a stretch.

Dream on, if she's 20 and you're 30 she thinks you're an old man. Doesn't mean nothing is possible but it's a stretch.

 

[Diode]

Dude, it doesn't sound like she made a bad decision, sounds like a single(?) girl had some great sex. How is that a bad decision?



Dream on, if she's 20 and you're 30 she thinks you're an old man. Doesn't mean nothing is possible but it's a stretch.

When you were 20 fuji, did you think 30 was old?
Good Lord man, she's not 14!
People used to regularly get married in their early 20's, and a Girl was NOT looking for youth, but maturity and comfort.
What does some 20 yr old Guitar player offer?
Maybe he's the next Eddie Van Halen. Probably not.Probably he'll bum from couch to couch, do the odd gig at the 'Shoe, and look for the next groupie to play hide the Salami with.
A 30 yr old guy with a house IMHO has a lot more to offer then some 20 yr old bum.

 

[great bear]

Did you at the very least play his guitar when he was banging your friend?

 

[Berlin]

A 30 yr old guy with a house IMHO has a lot more to offer then some 20 yr old bum.

Point very valid. But then again , "sexual Attractiveness" is in the eyes of the beholder, and that, is the reality we all have to live with.

 

[lookingforitallthetime]

Why do you say this? Not all long time relationships start off with sparks.
In fact, some start as smoldering embers, and require a little faning of the flame.
I don't undrstand guys who won't ask a girl out. What have you got to lose?
The worst thing she can say is NO. Big deal, if she does, it her loss, and you won't go through life thinking "what if".

So she bangs some musician. These guys will come and Go.
Open a decent bottle of wine, sit down alone together, and tell her how you feel, honestly.

If she was interested in him she would be more sensitive to banging another guy in the next room. Seems obvious to me.

I agree with you, if wetnose was interested in her he should have made his move. He didn't though. He played it slow and became "the friend". Game over.

 

[Brownie69]

Sorry man.... Your chances are slim. You waited to long IMO and now your the "guy friend" as previously posted. The number one thing nice guys do is wait too long to make a move. Your chances decrease as the girl gets more comfortable with you, as a friend, while she continues to date other guys. You become the guy she can talk to in confidence and without reservations.

If your gonna go for it now, you can't do it in a way that will make her feel uncomfortable either since she lives at your place. I think you should feel her out, i.e. what was the sex with the musician all about and then take it from there. Honestly though, be prepared to just walk away from this thing altogether.

 

[Hank Reardon]

therapist or police officer

Thanks for the PMs and the advice, guys. Nothing like the straight goods from guys in the community. I got some lousy advice from a female friend and it sucked.

I'm going to feel out what last night was about - she did leave the front door unlocked so I figure the sex wasn't planned - he probably made his move and she just went along. If that's the case, then maybe it was just 1 bad decision. So there's still a chance.

If not and she wants to go full bore then I have to consider alternatives.

I'm pissed that he got there before me. There were other times when she seemed vulnerable and I should have just gone for it. But I held back because I was brought up to be a gentleman. DAMN.

Screw that. On the table is character assassination, sabotage (smoke alarm anyone?), poisoning (just to give him/her discomfort to spoil the mood) and plain reason. I gotta find out his allergies. I'm going to break up his deal.



I'm 12 years older than her...and she's at the Seneca. So yeah a little bit older but not a stretch.

Getting a set up like that is not difficult. Get a nice location and pad, post around the neighbourhood and CL, set a slightly lower than market price and wait until the right fish comes along. Insist on no long term "guests". 3 other people viewed the place and they all wanted it, but she said some things that were just right.

Plus she was HOT.

..... are your 2 choices of who you should call.

You should speak to one of these 2 quickly IMO.