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My updated Sugar dating progresses

GeeBee

Connoisseur of life's pleasures
Sep 15, 2019
473
679
93
I'm just learning the ropes here. Do you find it's a good idea to let them know from the outset that there will be no PPM for non-intimate dates?
Unless you're flexible and might be open to the idea, I’d say it’s best to be honest about it from the start. There is no point in going down a road that you don’t want to travel.

However if the “non intimate dates” include things like concerts, sporting events that might include you paying for an expensive ticket she might be happy with that. She may also be happy with gifts, but you have to balance what you’re giving with what you’re getting out of this arrangement. It’s all part of an adult conversation that needs to be had.
 

Leimonis

Well-known member
Feb 28, 2020
10,262
10,163
113
I'm just learning the ropes here. Do you find it's a good idea to let them know from the outset that there will be no PPM for non-intimate dates?
Unless you're flexible and might be open to the idea, I’d say it’s best to be honest about it from the start. There is no point in going down a road that you don’t want to travel.

However if the “non intimate dates” include things like concerts, sporting events that might include you paying for an expensive ticket she might be happy with that. She may also be happy with gifts, but you have to balance what you’re giving with what you’re getting out of this arrangement. It’s all part of an adult conversation that needs to be had.
the issue typically is the initial dates, not the dates later on. I am not a big believer in platonic dates except ONE meet and greet, much less if ppm is asked for, because you are pretty much inviting rinsing, and in any event I am looking for women who have high sex drive and who are itching to fuck and who are not taking forever to take the plunge.
 

RobI

Active member
Mar 28, 2009
312
164
43
Toronto
www.toronto.xxx
Ya, talking to one of my SBs, she indicated that she never messaged me. I showed her the thread. It's obvious that the program is doing it. I don't respond if the profile is obvious that we're not a match.
Yes, that's the issue with Secret Benefits (and their other sites, sugardaddy.ca/.com/uk.co), you can find lots of stories like this on Reddit. There are real girls on there, but you probably want to stick to the premium/verified members.

https://www.reddit.com/r/sugarlifestyleforum/comments/1bicimc https://www.reddit.com/r/sugarlifestyleforum/comments/173tfhj
 
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RobI

Active member
Mar 28, 2009
312
164
43
Toronto
www.toronto.xxx
I'm just learning the ropes here. Do you find it's a good idea to let them know from the outset that there will be no PPM for non-intimate dates?
It's a good question. Personally, I'd talk to them on the site (or off if you're on Seeking - no money talk, remember?) to set-up expectations.

In the past, I've suggested that we meet up for drinks or dinner first to talk, and if we vibe, we can take things from there. A lot of hotels have a restaurant with booths so you have a bit of privacy to talk. Plus, you're meeting at a hotel.

Also, if they start talking about sending pictures, cash "until we can meet up", I tell them right away I'm not looking for virtual - that usually gets the scammers to move on.
 
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DudeUsr

Active member
Jul 24, 2018
148
63
28
Interesting thread. I guess Im completely new to SD ing.
Whats is like compared to random fuck with escorts?
What sort of money do you guys spend here to land a fish? I am not loaded, hence curious.
 

Zippythepinhead

Well-known member
Jan 14, 2023
408
839
93
Interesting thread. I guess Im completely new to SD ing.
Whats is like compared to random fuck with escorts?
What sort of money do you guys spend here to land a fish? I am not loaded, hence curious.

I'm happy to share some of my thoughts and experiences. First off, the sugar world is definitely unique. But, as much as most SBs would like to think it is different than escorting, it is still sex work. Different, but still sex work. While dabbling in the sugar world can replace time with escorts, for me, they serve two different purposes. With escorts, you look for a specific experience and, through research, you can readily find that which you seek on an HOURLY basis that works for you. The relationship with an escort has boundaries that are defined, initially, by hourly constraints. That is, a one hour experience is likely to be very different than a two hour experience. Yes, you can definitely develop a more "intimate" relationship with an escort as you continue to see her over time. But, the primary model that i have observed in most hobbyists is to enjoy variety of different escorts, either "one and done," or by cycling through a group of regulars. Boundaries may get stretched a bit as time goes on and you get to know more about each other. That is the intimacy part, or the part where if that is what you seek, a sugar baby may be the way to go. In the sugar world, the boundaries tend not to be set initially by time together... it really should not be, when it works well, an hourly arrangement. In the sugar world, non-escorts dabble in sex work by calling it a "mutually beneficial" arrangement. This is code for she provides sex and you provide money...at its basic core. Platonic sugar relationships are unicorns. But, most SDs who emerge from their initial escorting phase are seeking more than just sex. They want a connection. And, while that is possible with an escort, there is always a "clock" at work. With good SBs, the "clock" is irrelevant.

With that background, i have two other thoughts:

1) Escorts are professionals and the general notion is that they are more skilled at sex. The best are more skilled in not only the sex, but the fantasy as well. SBs, on the other hand, tend to be less experienced (although not always) and the quality of the initial sexual encounter can vary widely. In short, they do not have the professional ability to provide the fantasy part...although they might be quite skilled sexually, which is great. A hobbyist can do his research and find an escort who will provide a nice sexual experience. Sometimes, we find experiences that are off the charts good and we repeat. Rarely, if you do your homework, will the experience be disappointing. With SBs, on the other hand, you do not know what you are going to get during that first sexual encounter. Very simply, there is a much, much lower floor of potential quality with an SB than a well reviewed escort. The encounter can possibly be sexually disappointing, for one or both of you. On the other hand, finding a great match with an SB who is skilled or eager to learn and experiment can be an off the charts experience...again, because there is no clock and no defined lines not to be crossed in terms of sharing info about each other, thus heightening intimacy. There are just some things that are not appropriate to ask an escort as they would be invasive to her and her privacy. With an SB, many other topics are on the table.

2) Those who i know to hobby AND indulge in the sugar world often talk about the "value" for their dollars. For example, I can see a great escort in Toronto for 3 hours at a cost of $1200-1500. I know the experience will be nice. On the other hand, an SB in my area generally will accept a PPM ('pay per meet) of $500-600. For that, my experience has been sharing drinks, multiple hours of sex, and dinner, all that being a minimum of 4 hours and often up to 8 hours. To get that with an escort, the cost goes up to $1500-2000 for 4 hours. Sugar sounds great, right? Well, the catch is the amount of work to find that great SB can be so labor intensive that it becomes wildly frustrating...including meet and greets that just dont work out with numerous potential SBs...that is time and money and energy. A great escort is a couple of clicks and a thoughtful email away from a guaranteed good experience.

So, in my opinion, both have their pros and cons. But, for me, they work together. I have SBs here at home and enjoy wonderful escorts when i travel. There is obviously so much more that can be said on this topic, but you've probably thought I have rambled on too long already! Interesting thread and, of course, these are just my experiences. I'm sure others have done things differently. That is the beauty of the sandbox we play in...something for everyone. Lastly, a shout out to the amazing escorts here in Toronto who treat me so well when I visit. My city has nothing that remotely compares to you...cheers!!
 
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DudeUsr

Active member
Jul 24, 2018
148
63
28
I'm happy to share some of my thoughts and experiences. First off, the sugar world is definitely unique. But, as much as most SBs would like to think it is different than escorting, it is still sex work. Different, but still sex work. While dabbling in the sugar world can replace time with escorts, for me, they serve two different purposes. With escorts, you look for a specific experience and, through research, you can readily find that which you seek on an HOURLY basis that works for you. The relationship with an escort has boundaries that are defined, initially, by hourly constraints. That is, a one hour experience is likely to be very different than a two hour experience. Yes, you can definitely develop a more "intimate" relationship with an escort as you continue to see her over time. But, the primary model that i have observed in most hobbyists is to enjoy variety of different escorts, either "one and done," or by cycling through a group of regulars. Boundaries may get stretched a bit as time goes on and you get to know more about each other. That is the intimacy part, or the part where if that is what you seek, a sugar baby may be the way to go. In the sugar world, the boundaries tend not to be set initially by time together... it really should not be, when it works well, an hourly arrangement. In the sugar world, non-escorts dabble in sex work by calling it a "mutually beneficial" arrangement. This is code for she provides sex and you provide money...at its basic core. Platonic sugar relationships are unicorns. But, most SDs who emerge from their initial escorting phase are seeking more than just sex. They want a connection. And, while that is possible with an escort, there is always a "clock" at work. With good SBs, the "clock" is irrelevant.

With that background, i have two other thoughts:

1) Escorts are professionals and the general notion is that they are more skilled at sex. The best are more skilled in not only the sex, but the fantasy as well. SBs, on the other hand, tend to be less experienced (although not always) and the quality of the initial sexual encounter can vary widely. In short, they do not have the professional ability to provide the fantasy part...although they might be quite skilled sexually, which is great. A hobbyist can do his research and find an escort who will provide a nice sexual experience. Sometimes, we find experiences that are off the charts good and we repeat. Rarely, if you do your homework, will the experience be disappointing. With SBs, on the other hand, you do not know what you are going to get during that first sexual encounter. Very simply, there is a much, much lower floor of potential quality with an SB than a well reviewed escort. The encounter can possibly be sexually disappointing, for one or both of you. On the other hand, finding a great match with an SB who is skilled or eager to learn and experiment can be an off the charts experience...again, because there is no clock and no defined lines not to be crossed in terms of sharing info about each other, thus heightening intimacy. There are just some things that are not appropriate to ask an escort as they would be invasive to her and her privacy. With an SB, many other topics are on the table.

2) Those who i know to hobby AND indulge in the sugar world often talk about the "value" for their dollars. For example, I can see a great escort in Toronto for 3 hours at a cost of $1200-1500. I know the experience will be nice. On the other hand, an SB in my area generally will accept a PPM ('pay per meet) of $500-600. For that, my experience has been sharing drinks, multiple hours of sex, and dinner, all that being a minimum of 4 hours and often up to 8 hours. To get that with an escort, the cost goes up to $1500-2000 for 4 hours. Sugar sounds great, right? Well, the catch is the amount of work to find that great SB can be so labor intensive that it becomes wildly frustrating...including meet and greets that just dont work out with numerous potential SBs...that is time and money and energy. A great escort is a couple of clicks and a thoughtful email away from a guaranteed good experience.

So, in my opinion, both have their pros and cons. But, for me, they work together. I have SBs here at home and enjoy wonderful escorts when i travel. There is obviously so much more that can be said on this topic, but you've probably thought I have rambled on too long already! Interesting thread and, of course, these are just my experiences. I'm sure others have done things differently. That is the beauty of the sandbox we play in...something for everyone. Lastly, a shout out to the amazing escorts here in Toronto who treat me so well when I visit. My city has nothing that remotely compares to you...cheers!!
Hey mate, thanks a lot for walking me through it. You kind of summarised a lot of informational and comparisons which would have taken me hours to learn by internet by self.

Now I'm infact getting curious to try this out for a number of reasons.
1. Even with a well reviewed escorts, there is always a bad day and bad time and someone and mostly that would be me.
2. I like the cost differences that you had put, sounds more worth the money.
3. I felt the escorting is mechanic at times. This on the other hand sounds like a real feel.
 
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Leimonis

Well-known member
Feb 28, 2020
10,262
10,163
113
3. I felt the escorting is mechanic at times. This on the other hand sounds like a real feel.
Chances of it feeling real with sb are pretty close to chances of it feeling real with Sp. And they are not high.
 

Zippythepinhead

Well-known member
Jan 14, 2023
408
839
93
Hey mate, thanks a lot for walking me through it. You kind of summarised a lot of informational and comparisons which would have taken me hours to learn by internet by self.

Now I'm infact getting curious to try this out for a number of reasons.
1. Even with a well reviewed escorts, there is always a bad day and bad time and someone and mostly that would be me.
2. I like the cost differences that you had put, sounds more worth the money.
3. I felt the escorting is mechanic at times. This on the other hand sounds like a real feel.
Happy to help. If you are at all curious to try the sugar world, I highly recommend that you do. A couple of things have the potential of happening. On one extreme, you quickly tire of the time, energy and patience it takes to find a reliable SB. And you realize the ease/certainty you get with escorts is the way to go. Additionally, the sugar world is filled with "stops and starts" in arrangements. For every one year arrangement I had, I had 10-15 that lasted between 1-5 dates. That's not to say the "short term" nature of these arrangements is a bad thing. Sugar relationships end for a variety of reasons, just like civilian dating...mediocre sex, the SB decides sex for pay isn't for her, personality conflicts, etc. Sometimes the sex was great, but scheduling becomes an issue. Also, sugaring is not immune from our basic nature to seek variety. One of the two people want to chase the next exciting thing. However, if a more "real" (that is, like a girlfriend) is what you seek (without the constraints of a traditional dating relationship) I think you have a much greater chance of finding this with an SB than an escort. On the other extreme (from getting quickly frustrated) is that you find a sugar relationship and the sugar world is exactly what you seek...and it becomes ingrained in your lifestyle. At some point, the ONLY thing an SB and an escort have in common is the exchange of the envelope. Sugar relationships can feel very real very quickly. SBs get into it for a variety of reasons. Some are already hooking up in the "real world" for free, and soon see the advantages of "sugar." Other's are truly intrigued by the concept of an older guy (a "daddy") taking care of them. Plus, many of us older guys live up to the stereotype that we know what we are doing in bed. The number of 21-25 year olds who have told me that I was the best sex they ever had was shocking...initially. Then, it made sense. We tend to be more "givers" than our younger colleagues. Again, the number of 21-25 year olds who have never received oral, or had quality oral, was shocking. So, imagine, being that age, being attracted to older guys, having the best sex of your life, and making $$$...with no drama or heartbreak. It is no wonder there is no shortage of wannabe SBs...but it all comes down to your willingness to put in the effort, and a little bit of luck. But, when you do find it, it is awesome. Again... just my .02 worth
 

boneher

Member
Feb 5, 2025
52
80
18
I'm curious how often the SB will gradually just shift into a regular [non-paid] relationship. This has occurred with me with SP's in the past, however i have never tried out SB dating.
 
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