Hello y'all.
Recently, my son has been very fucking happy, and I had no idea why. He's also been quite accommodating lately, and that's quite unsettling. For example, the other day when I told him my supply of cheap tequila was getting low, and ordered him to go down to the local Lick-Bow to replenish, he didn't protest at all. He simply got on his tricycle and pedaled down through the freezing rain. He even picked up a box of the expensive condoms for me, you know, the ones that aren't pre-perforated.
This hasn't happened in the last decade, as far as I can remember. Although my memory has been affected by the tequila and several miles of thick young dick having rammed through my tight hairy pussy. So, naturally being a concerned mother (about the tequila, not the asshole who I gave birth to over four decades ago of course), I asked him "What the fuck is right with you, you twat?"
He responded that he recently had an experience with a well known lady from the Durham area. Great. And he has been gushing about it ever since, and quite frankly I'm getting sick of the goofy grin on his face.
All I hear is that, despite not being the traditional modelesque woman that usually raises his enormous cock to rigid attention (by the way, he got the cock from his father... that guy could fill me until I screamed in ecsta-pain, let me tell you! It was a shame about the tragic hedge-trimmer accident. Such a waste of a fantastic piston. But I digress...) this lady he saw was the quintessential girlfriend experience. Naturally, my response to that was "Oh really, so she used you for your sexual prowess, and when she figured out that all you could talk about semi-intelligently was grammatical errors in Monty Python skit scripts and your stupid friend Cardinal Fang's new Trans-Am, she dumped you like the enormous crap I had this morning after that dinner of burritos you bought me last night?", he only smiled and said "No, mother. She was incredibly sweet and cuddly, with enormous floppy boobies and a mouth to die for."
So, apparently this "Ifyouseekamy" chick is pretty nice. So go see her, I guess. And if you see my boy, tell him to pick up cigarettes on his way home.
Recently, my son has been very fucking happy, and I had no idea why. He's also been quite accommodating lately, and that's quite unsettling. For example, the other day when I told him my supply of cheap tequila was getting low, and ordered him to go down to the local Lick-Bow to replenish, he didn't protest at all. He simply got on his tricycle and pedaled down through the freezing rain. He even picked up a box of the expensive condoms for me, you know, the ones that aren't pre-perforated.
This hasn't happened in the last decade, as far as I can remember. Although my memory has been affected by the tequila and several miles of thick young dick having rammed through my tight hairy pussy. So, naturally being a concerned mother (about the tequila, not the asshole who I gave birth to over four decades ago of course), I asked him "What the fuck is right with you, you twat?"
He responded that he recently had an experience with a well known lady from the Durham area. Great. And he has been gushing about it ever since, and quite frankly I'm getting sick of the goofy grin on his face.
All I hear is that, despite not being the traditional modelesque woman that usually raises his enormous cock to rigid attention (by the way, he got the cock from his father... that guy could fill me until I screamed in ecsta-pain, let me tell you! It was a shame about the tragic hedge-trimmer accident. Such a waste of a fantastic piston. But I digress...) this lady he saw was the quintessential girlfriend experience. Naturally, my response to that was "Oh really, so she used you for your sexual prowess, and when she figured out that all you could talk about semi-intelligently was grammatical errors in Monty Python skit scripts and your stupid friend Cardinal Fang's new Trans-Am, she dumped you like the enormous crap I had this morning after that dinner of burritos you bought me last night?", he only smiled and said "No, mother. She was incredibly sweet and cuddly, with enormous floppy boobies and a mouth to die for."
So, apparently this "Ifyouseekamy" chick is pretty nice. So go see her, I guess. And if you see my boy, tell him to pick up cigarettes on his way home.